In The Darkness
by Taste's Like Home
Summary: Hermione lost her father to the DeathEaters and singing is her only outlet for grief. What happens when Snape catches her one night in the Astronomy Tower...? Not what you expect, trust me. SSHG pairing, sex scenes and swearing. !CH 30 WARNING!
1. I will watch you

In The Darkness 

**Hey guys, so here we go, a new story. After a long time of being out of I'm back. Went to Canada but came home (homesick). This story was inspired by theme tune to A Beautiful Mind. I joined a choir and the pianist John let me sit and listen to everyone else sing before I joined. How Snape feels is what I felt when I listened to them. So I joined and now I sing solo soprano. :) So I know my music and how to appreciate it. The song that is sung in this is one of the most beautiful, inspirational songs in the world. If you haven't heard it then you have not heard perfection.**

**NOTE I have had to take the lyrics away and have not had time ti check the new passage for type errors. Exucse them if you find any, it's where the lyrics should be.**

Chapter 1

A cold chill wrapped itself around the legs of Professor Severus Snape's legs as he stalked the long, dark corridors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. It crept up his trouser leg, dancing and tickling around the upright hairs before being brought to a halt by the black shirt tucked into the very same material that gave it access. He shuddered slightly in the darkness, knowing that no-one was there to see him do so. He took a quick look around the empty corridor, a few remote candles bringing minimal light and casting fiery shadows on the opposite walls that danced wickedly over the dark stone. He saw nothing but empty shadows. He glanced at them and found himself thinking of those shadows that had given him solace as a child, that had hidden him from the world's evil, and the same shadows that had hidden his own evil doings as a young man…

He put the thoughts to the back of his mind, wishing to erase them from his memory. He looked away from the shadows and concluded that there was no one there. He carried on walking, his black cloak billowing like smoke behind him, rippling in the light breeze as he stepped outside. He inhaled deeply the scent of spring's breeze, cool but refreshing, and felt calmed and safe. He looked around the vast grounds of Hogwarts, the grass looked almost silver as the moonlight sparkled on the dew hanging delicately on each blade, the water in the lake, so still that it reflected the stars like a mirror. He looked up, secretly admiring the stars, shimmering diamonds scattered on black silk. This was Severus's favourite time of year, cold but beautiful and delicate. He walked over to the lake and looked into the water, seeing nothing but his own face. He looked harder, but still the water threw his face back at him. He frowned and swept the water with his hand, causing uproar as the water rose into a fit of rage, rippling angrily at him. He smirked and turned to carry on walking. He would often walk the grounds in the early hours of the morning, knowing that there would be no-one around to disturb him from his thoughts, knowing that the dim lights of the stars would chase away the shadows that haunted him in his sleep, this twilight time of natural beauty would soothe and calm his tormented mind.

He carried on walking, allowing the darkness of the night and the light of the moon take his troubles for a short while, yet still a frown creased his brow as he thought of his dreams again, something that even the night could not release him from. He walked, not noticing where he was going, but still acutely aware of his surroundings. He stopped suddenly and stood still, barely breathing.

A sound.

Gentle, barely audible.

Coming from above him.

His mind went into autopilot as his mind raced to contemplate all the possibilities that could be making this noise. He followed it silently, he could barely hear it, he could hear certain pitches of it that travelled through the darkness. He walked closer before identifying the sound.

Someone was singing. A woman. The sounds that were travelling were the higher notes.

Now to find out who.

He carried on walking to find the source the song. He couldn't make out the words, he could barely hear the tune, but from what he could hear it was sung very nicely. He stood and listened. It was coming from near the Astronomy Tower. Maybe from inside it. That may be why it was above him. He quickened his pace and was soon enough beneath the tower. Just how he had thought. A silhouette sat of the window ledge, head leaning against the stone, singing. He realised that it must be a student and began thinking of punishments, but the voice broke him from his thoughts and forced him to listen to it.

Serverus was entranced. The song was so beautiful, the voice slipped through the air, floating gently, it passed into his ear as clear as glass, perfectly still, no waves, no faults or pauses, the notes hit overtime. The words, perfectly sounded, every syllable sounded, there was no mistake of them. It was perfectly mesmerising and utterly captivating. Serverus merely stood there in the sea of nothingness but this song, letting it wash over him, soothing him. Suddenly there were no thoughts in his head, no troubles or worries. There was no night or darkness, no memories, nothing haunted him. There was just him and this voice, this music, this beautiful voice. It was just him and this… angel.

It was getting higher, but still just as perfect, hitting every note, even the higher ones.

The final high note made his very soul shudder. It reached his very being and stirred within him. He closed his eyes without knowing it and let himself be moved by this… thing…this…. Angel.

The song stopped. He opened his eyes suddenly, realising that they were closed. He looked up suddenly and saw the figure looking down. Then suddenly she was gone, having jumped down from the ledge.

"Wait!" He called involuntarily. He began into a sprint, running back into the castle, through the corridors, up the stairs, running, he didn't stop until he came to the door of the room where the angel had been sat. He ripped the door open, hoping that she was there, ready to beg her to carry on singing for him…

But the room was empty.

His face dropped. There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach of loss. He scanned the room. She had fled once she had seen him. He left the room, leaving the door open, inviting her to return to him. He waited outside for a few moments, but she did not return.

He returned to his quarters still at peace and one with himself. He had no need to change his clothes or get his normal glass of firewhiskey when he normally returned from his nightly walks because as soon as he put his head on his black satin pillow, he was asleep. Sweet, uninterrupted sleep. No dreams haunted him. There was nothing but that voice singing in his mind. It was the first time in 15 years that he slept for the rest of the night until the morning without waking up with a cold sweat on his brow or shaking. He must find that voice. He must have her. Nothing else had calmed him the way that she had. He simply had to find that voice…

Hermione closed the door to the Gryfindor Girl's dorm as quietly as she could. She was out of breath and beginning to sweat as a result from her run from the tower. Professor Snape had almost caught her. He was looking up right at her. He must have known it was her. How long was he there for? She slipped back into bed, taking her cloak off as she did and letting it gently slump to the floor. She had double Potions tomorrow. He was going to get her about it then. Hermione eventually fell into a light sleep as she worried about what her professor would do to her for being out of bed so late, and what horrible comments he was going to say about her voice.

**Ok, so what do you think? Please read and review and tell me!--**


	2. Anger

In The Darkness

**Nothing to say this time, enjoy!**

Chapter 2

The shrill sound of the enchanted alarm clock woke Severus from his deep sleep. He opened his eyes and looked around, stunned. It was the first time in 15 years that his alarm clock had actually woke him up, he normally woke up a lot earlier, and he always put it on just in case he didn't wake up.

It had finally served it purpose.

He mumbled a spell to silence the infernal racket as he rubbed his eyes, bidding them to wake up. He felt like he could have slept for a thousand years. It was the best night sleep he had had for a long time. He got of bed and checked the time, making sure he had time for a shower. He did, and within a few minutes he was stripped of his heavy daywear in which he had fallen asleep in and allowing the cold beads of water roll down his naked body, feeling each one as it made his skin shiver, waking his senses. He let the water fall gently on his head, soaking his hair and trickling to the ends of it. He was thinking of that voice still. He brought himself back to reality and remembered that he was supposed to be teaching in an hour and he was not ready at all, including no breakfast. He sped his shower processes up, briefly washing his hair and body before getting out and beginning to get his mind focused on the day ahead, the whole time that voice softly sang to him…

Hermione hated Thursdays. It was normally the worst day, purely because she had double Potions last lesson with Potions first thing on Friday morning, and Professor Snape would give them loads of homework that had to be handed in on the Friday. So all of Thursday night would be spent doing potions homework for the morning. She expected that today would be no different, and with Snape's discovery of her singing last night, it meant that these lessons were bound to be the worst lessons she had ever had.

Hermione braced herself as she met Harry and Ron outside the door. She took a deep breath as they walked in together, Ron talking about the lesson he had had previously and how his hand was nearly savaged off by one of the plants they were potting in Herbology. The whole story was totally blown out of proportion, but Hermione was too nervous to correct him and remind him that the plant had barely scratched him. So she kept quiet as they all took their seats before Snape came in. Harry leaned over to talk to her.

"Hey Herm, you seem really off…. Something up?"

"No, no, not at all Harry…" She replied. She was a terrible liar and she knew it. So did Harry.

"Come off it, there's something up. I know it!" He pushed.

"Honestly Harry, I'm ok. I'm just concerned about how much homework Snape is going to give us. I've got a load from my other subjects already, I don't think I will have time to do another load from Snape for tomorrow!" She must have been convincing.

"Listen, if he gives us a load, I'll do some of your homework with you. I didn't get hardly any today, and I've only got essays that I have to do for next week."

"Thanks Harry, you're an angel!" She said. He winked at her and sat back down just as Snape entered the classroom. Hermione knew that Harry had a soft spot for her, he didn't fancy her but at the same time saw her as more than just a friend. Hermione looked at Snape as he walked in but as soon as she could see his face she looked away, at the floor, the wall, the books, anything but him.

"You will carry on from page 367. The ingredients are in their usual places. You have 30 minutes to get the pyroice potion to the third step which is a sky blue bubbling liquid in your cauldron. Begin." And so the class set about working. If Snape liked anything about teaching older students it was their capacity to do things unattended. It left him with the time to do other things, such as mark work and so on. All he had to do was look around every so often, have a quick walk around and check on things every now and again. This was a specialist class, these students had chosen Potions for their higher education, except Ron. He had to do it if he was to become a Dragon Trainer. He looked over his class as they began to get their ingredients and such, then looked at the pile of second year papers to mark. How he hated marking young students work. It was all so easy and simple and still most managed to get it wrong. He got his quill and began marking, not noticing the potential argument brewing in the far corner of the room.

"Look where you're going Potter. Or perhaps you need some new glasses? Those magnifying glasses not strong enough anymore?"

"Your hair isn't looking its best Malfoy, ran out of bleach have we?"

"I'm surprised you can see my hair when you can barely see where you're going!"

"Well it's not exactly hard to miss Malfoy, bright yellow is a fairly obvious colour."

"You must get your eyesight from your dad, what a shame he didn't see the Dark Lord coming…" Harry expression changed as he felt the anger bubble inside him. He lunged forward for Malfoy but he dodged him and Harry went flying into the side wall. "You must get your reaction speed from you, I bet you couldn't have dodged the spell either…" Harry ran at him again, only this time Hermione stopped him.

"Harry, don't be stupid, you'll get yourself in trouble! He's not worth it…" She said in a hushed voice, trying not to get Snape's attention although he was already looking over in their direction. Harry didn't care though.

"Did you hear what he said? No-one speaks about my family like that, NO-ONE!" He tried to push past Hermione but she didn't move. Malfoy stood in the back smirking at Harry.

"Harry, he's not worth it, just leave him, ignore him…"

"HOW DO YOU IGNORE SOMETHING LIKE THAT? WOULD YOU IGNORE ME IF I WENT ON ABOUT YOUR DADS DEATH, SAYING HE COULD HAVE STOPPED IT IF HE WAS STRONGER! OH HOW WEAK HE WAS BECAUSE HE WAS KILLED BY VOLDEMORT'S SLAVES! COULD YOU IGNORE THAT? COULD YOU?" Hermione let go of Harry. Harry's breath was heavy and deep, but seeing the look on Hermione's face calmed him. It was common knowledge that over the holidays Hermione's father was killed by death eaters. He was coming home from work when they ambushed him. It was rumoured that they were looking for Hermione and her mother too, but no-one ever spoke of that out loud. In fact no-one had said anything of her father's death but Harry and Ron and that was to console her. She looked at him, her eyes already beginning to well with tears although she tried to fight it. She looked away from him and stared at the floor hard, struggling to fight her emotions. Harry just stood there regretting what he had said. He knew that if she had said that to him that he would probably not forgive her. He looked up as he saw Snape striding over, his steps echoing over the stone of the dungeon. The room was silent and watching everything. Snape came and stood behind Harry. He looked at the faces of the three youths. Just as he was about to speak, Hermione spoke.

"Because you are angry I will forgive you for that. You say that again and we are not friends." She said through a strained voice, trying desperately now to hold back the tears that stung her eyes. She was deadly serious, her face showing this morbid solemnity. Harry simply nodded. There was no use for words now.

"Isn't this cosy? What's going on here?" Snape said, pretending not to have heard the whole thing as the rest of the class did.

"Potter was getting violent sir. He should learn to control him temper." Malfoy said whilst looking at Harry.

"You should learn to control your tongue Draco. It will get you into big trouble one of these days." Hermione spat with all the venom she could muster, much to everyone's surprise. Snape looked at her. She looked at him. Those onyx eyes looked into hers. She remembered him looking up at him in the night… Oh god, she thought "He is sure to say something now…" She braced herself.

"Ten points from Gryfindor. You will hold your tongue next time Miss Granger. I did not ask for your opinion therefore I don't want it. Now everyone back to work. Now." And with that he turned and walked back to the desk. Harry and Hermione took their places next to Ron as Draco pushed past Harry. Hermione was amazed that he hadn't said anything. Perhaps he hadn't noticed it was her…. She would have to be a lot more careful next time.

"We'll get him Harry, just you wait, when he's not with his bumchums we'll get him…"

"You'll do nothing of the sort. He isn't worth it."

"Hermione, did you hear what he said? About Harry's…"

"Did you hear what I said? Now forget it. It never happened." And suddenly it became very clear to both Ron and Harry exactly how she was coping with her father's death. By forgetting that it ever happened and pushing it out of her mind. Harry guessed that she had not yet come to terms with what had happened. She would eventually have to talk about it. And when she wanted to, he would be there. His expression said all that words could not as he looked at her. She smiled slightly back, a pained smile, then carried on stirring her potion.

**Ok, will have chapter 3 to you later tonight. I have to go to school now. Bugger. ;-) Leave a review please!**


	3. Don't Say Anything

Through the Darkness 

**By the way, I'm kinda imagining the relationship between Harry and Hermione kinda like Will and Grace's friendship, that really close can-do-or-say-anything type thing. I love Will and Grace. So when he kisses her it's as a friend, its not flirting or anything, that's why she ain't worried.**

**Also Yes the song is from the Phantom of the Opera, I finally went to see it and fell in love with the music. All credit to Andrew Lloyd Webber the musical guineas and none to me.**

**_BTW_ Lyrics law have meant me cutting some of this part out, so bits where it might not make sense are the bits where the lyrics were. I havent had chance to check it all again. will do soon though.**

Chapter 3

Just as Hermione had expected Snape had given them homework that was to be handed in for the next morning. And just as he had said, Harry sat with her as he did her Potions essay on uses of the Pyroice flame and she did her Muggle Studies essay on The History of the Lightbulb and its Uses. Her hand was aching from writing, her ink was nearly dried up and her quill nib was miss shaped from the amount of writing. She put it down and rubbed her hand tenderly. Harry looked up at her as he finished the last sentence on the second piece of parchment. He gave her a warm smile.

"What?" She asked suspiciously.

"Nothing, can I not smile at a friend?"

"When you smile at me like that it means you want something. What's up?" She asked as she picked her parchment up to blow the ink dry.

"I was wondering, have you spoken to anyone about your dad?" He said simply but gently. She lowered the parchment to look at him fully. She held his gaze for a moment before looking at the parchment again.

"No." She said simply.

"Do you want to?"

"No." Harry knew better than to push her to talk about it.

"Ok, but when you do want to, I'm right here. Always."

"I know Harry. Thank you." He looked away. So that was the end if that conversation. No, he would not let that be the end. He had rehearsed it for too long.

"How are you coping with it?"

"Ok thanks…"

"No, no, I meant what are you doing? Apart from putting it out of your mind completely." She looked up at him again, looking directly into his eyes.

"I have my ways Harry. I appreciate your concern, but I am fine. Please believe me." Harry sighed.

"I just wish that I could do something. If you ever need me for anything, anything at all, you know I would never tell anyone anything if you didn't want me to…"

"I know Harry. Thank you." And that was it. She gave him a last smile before carrying on with her work. Satisfied that she had accepted his words and would indeed talk to him if she so wanted he too looked down upon the work he had done for her and smiled.

"I'm going to bed. I've got Quidditch practise in the morning with Ron, better get some sleep."

"Ah, that's why he's not here with us. "

"And the fact that it is 11:40 is the reason why there is no-one else in the common room. Night Herm."

"It's 11:40? And I've still got all this other work to do!"

"Herm, don't stress about it, it has to be handed in on Monday. Just go to bed and get some rest. Night darling." And with that he kissed her head as he passed her. He placed his hand on her shoulder gently as she raised her own hand up to place it on top of his.

"Night Harry." She said simply and with that he took his hand away and walked up the stairs to the boy's dorm, leaving her alone in the dark common room lit only by the last embers of the dying fire.

Hermione put her quill down finally at 12:55 and closed her last book. Most of her homework was now complete. She sighed with triumph as she put the book in her bag, which was bursting with bits of parchment and books, and slung it over her shoulder as she carried it along with her quill and Harry's ink pot upstairs with her. She placed everything down by her bed when she entered the room, being careful not to wake the other girls. Lavender stirred in her bed, Hermione stayed deathly still, but nothing came over it. She merely rolled over and went back to sleep. Hermione changed into her pyjamas and climbed into bed, resting her head on the soft pillow that had the comforting smell of her dads aftershave. Expecting to fall straight asleep, she was surprised and frustrated when she didn't. Tossing and turning, she half expected one of the girls to wake up but none did. She sighed and tried counting sheep, emptying her thoughts, but nothing worked. She knew that she had to get up early in the morning for lessons so she had to sleep, but she just couldn't. Eventually she gave up knowing what it was that would send her to sleep but not wanting to do it. Snape had almost caught her last time, there was the risk that he would be there again tonight… but she had to go. She put her shoes and cloak back on, ready to leave the room. She was going to have to visit her usual seat in the astronomy tower before she would sleep tonight. Hurrying quietly down the stairs and out on to the corridor, she didn't notice a pair of eyes watching her leave.

Severus Snape took off his heavy cloak and hung it on the hooks on the wall. He had had a bad day, nothing spectacular had happened and he had taught the usual set of brats, therefore it had been a bad day. He slumped into his dark green settee, deep and soft to the touch. He massaged his forehead with his fingers, closing his eyes and thinking of the day that had passed and the day that he had to look forward to tomorrow. Taking a deep breath he opened his eyes and stood up, ready to pour himself a glass of firewhiskey. He had decided what he was going to do last night and he was going to carry on with it. He poured himself a glass and took a swift swig of it then poured some more, set it down on his desktop and sat to begin marking papers. He would wait until 1:00 then he would go straight up to the tower to see if she was there to send him to sleep. He wasn't even going to walk the grounds, merely go straight up and find her. It was 12:00, he had an hour to wait. He took another drink then set to work marking.

The minutes seemed to pass like hours. For an eternity he sat there, looking up every two minutes to see the time, expecting it to have been at least ten minutes since he last looked and feeling that twang of disappoint mixed with impatience as he realised it had in fact only been two minutes since he checked last. For the last ten minutes he stopped marking all together to concentrate harder on the time, wishing it to hurry up. It got to 12:55 and he couldn't stand to sit there any longer, he got up, wrapped his cloak around him and started the walk up to the tower.

As he reached the bottom of the stairs he heard that sweet voice again. Only very quietly, he had to strain to hear it, but as soon as he did he felt that wave wash over him again. He stood at the bottom of the stairs. He could hear his angel singing again.

He felt his soul stirring again inside him. He saw himself walking up the stairs slowly, savouring every note, and letting her voice sink in him. Before he knew it he was at the top of the stairs. Slowly he followed the voice, enchanted, not knowing what to expect when he found the source of the voice. He had no thoughts in his head, he knew nothing of anything, only this voice.

He was there, outside the very room in which the voice was coming from. Behind the door was the very power that held him and soothed him. For a second he didn't want to open it. He didn't want to see the this voice because of what it might bring. What if it was it was an angel? And he wasn't suppose to see it? His mind tossed up so many ideals and questions. What if it was just a normal person? If it was not an angel merely a disappointment? What if by finding the source it meant he could never hear it again? Severus listened to himself and mental kicked himself. There's no such thing as angels he told himself. He had to find it, even if it meant he could never hear it again. He must see it for himself. He silently pushed the door open.

There she was, sat on the window ledge, singing into the night.

He stood, enraptured by her. She was every bit as beautiful as he had imagined. He could not see her whole face, but the moonlight shone down on one side of it, making her skin look snow white, her wide eyes looked black, perfect contrast with her skin. Her hair, a dark brown almost black tumbled in cascading curls down her neck, resting on her shoulder blade. Her body was barely visible underneath her plain white silk night-gown, it clung to her slim, perfect form. Her slender leg showing from the knee down, no marks or scars like his own body. She was an angel. He just stood there in the doorway, listening to her sing. She was perfect. He was certain that her voice took a physical form, but somewhere in his mind he told himself that it was just her breath on the cold night air.

Something told him that this wasn't right. He wasn't suppose to be here. He wasn't suppose to see any of this. He backed out of the doorway suddenly, still listening to her…his cloak dragged on the floor, brushing over the stone.

She heard it and spun her head around to look at him. He ripped his head up from looking at the offending material on the floor. They stood for a few moments staring at each other, each as wide eyed as the other. Severus could not see her properly though, the moonlight shone behind her, causing her to become a silhouette form, although he could see some features as the light crept round onto her face. He could just make out her facial expression. It looked shocked and horrified. Neither knew what to say. Eventually Severus stepped back another few steps. She was about to speak.

"Don't speak. Don't say a word." He said gently. She hung her head almost in shame.

"Sir I'm…."

"No, don't say anything." He didn't want to spoil this moment. He carried on walking back, leaving the corridor wide open. "Go." From what he could see she looked confused. "Go, now." He was still in awe of her. She didn't need telling again, she hurried past him, her bare feet softly padding on the stone as she past him. She hurried down the stairs and was soon melted into the dark shadows of the curving staircase.

**Yay! Reviews! Happy me! Replies!**

**JTBJAB- Hope you enjoy!**

**Lene- Sorry i couldn't put an accent on the e, i have an English keyboard. Thank you!**

**snapesepanss- I have writers block at the mo, got to chapter 15 and decided that it wasn't right, so went right back to chapter 9. I'm currently writing chapter 10 but it's hard. But thank you, you are truely inspriational.**

**Shortyst- Sorry, not the first but close. I hold you in high regard my dear! Thank you!**

**ERSM333- I was insprired by Phantom of the Opera to sing again, and this story is the result, hence the song from it. Kind of a dedication to it.**

**hiyahpfan- Thank you!**

**mery beth- That is one of the best compliments I have ever got. Thank you so much**

**daygonna- What can I say except thank you!**

**the musician- It took me a while to understand that, the "eof" threw me, but now I get it. Thank you again.**

**More tomorrow night my darlings!**


	4. Not A Word

In the Darkness

**OH! ME THINKS! I will not be in tomorrow night, I will be stopping out at my GodMother's and won't be able to update tomorrow evening. Gutted. (anyone who isn't British or doesn't understand "gutted" it means upset) Yeah, anyway, so I thought that i'd add another chappie this morning, hope you apperciate how early I got up to do this! HALF PAST BLOODY SIX!  
Ahem Onwards!**

Chapter 4

Severus leaned his head against the wall and thought about what he had just seen and heard. Her voice was captivating, and she had nearly spoke to him. He was sure that her speaking voice would have been just as sweet as her singing voice. His angel. He replayed her voice in his head, listening to it carefully, savouring it. "Sir I'm…" He replayed it and analysed it. He stopped suddenly.

"Sir?"

That meant it was a student. It was a normal woman, one of his students.

He spun around and ran down the stairs after her. He was going to know who is was now, he had to. He had to find her. Not only would she would tell everyone that the heartless Professor Snape was listening to her sing and that he let her go without punishment, it would mean that she would stop singing, knowing that Snape had listened to her.

He chased after her, not knowing what house she was from, not knowing what direction to turn to. He couldn't even hear her running because she tread so lightly.

"Wait!" He called out. Nothing. no noise. He looked at the candles on the wall of the staircase leading to the Gryfindor common room, they were dancing almost erotically as a wind had passed them not long ago. She must have past them he thought to himself, she must be in Gryfindor. He leapt up the stairs, checking every shadow, every hiding place he knew of on the way up. He was nearly at the top, she couldn't be far now, he had ran at a fair pace straight after her. He was close to finding her, he knew it….

"Severus? Is that you?" He turned sharply to the source of the voice. McGonagall stood at the base of the flight of steps that he was nearly at the top of.

"Yes, it is. What is it?"

"It's 1:10 in the morning Severus. I am wondering why it is that you are running around the school?" Severus swallowed hard.  
"I heard a student out of bed. I was merely trying to find them."

"I heard no-one. Go back to bed Severus, we will address this at a suitable hour." She said bitterly. He took a finally look around him, then followed McGonagall down the stairs, wishing desperately that she had not heard him, or that he would have remembered himself to be quiet.

Hermione's P.O.V. (if it isn't obvious)

Hermione climbed the curving staircase to her usual spot in the tower. She quietly opened the heavy oak door and slipped inside, not bothering to close it properly for the noise it might make. She lay her cloak on the window ledge and climbed on the open hole in the wall. She leaned back on the cold stone wall and rested there for a short while, letting the cool night air gently caress her naked shoulders and legs. She closed her eyes and thought of her father. Remembering what he had said to her, the last time she saw him, the times they had together before he was taken from her. She felt her eyes already welling with tears and before she could stop it one had already escaped, rolling slowly down her cheek. She didn't bother to wipe it away, a lingering memory of her father's touch on her cheek. She missed him so much it was untrue, she had not only lost her father but her best friend. She was closer to her father than she was to her mother, it was always him who mended the broken bridges between them when they argued, it was him who she could confide in and who would listen to her, who would keep her secrets and in turn she would keep his. Since he had died the gap between Hermione and her mother had grown, almost to the point of no repair. Hermione suspected that her mother blamed her for her father's death, although she had never said it out loud. Hermione blamed herself. If only she wasn't so good at school, if only she wasn't a witch, none of this would have happened. It was her fault. If she wouldn't have been a witch, or if she would have never told her parents, they would never have sent her here, they would never have heard about Voldemort, he wouldn't be interested in her family. It was all her fault.

She wiped her tear from her cheek at last. She took a deep jagged breath, and composed herself, knowing that if she was to think of herself and her own self blame that she would not sleep tonight as a result of it. She took another deep breath and cleared her mind of al thoughts, thinking only of her father and his voice. It was him who inspired her to sing. From a young age she had discovered her voice, but was so shy she never sang in front of anyone. Her father would often plead her to sing for him but she always refused. When she would practise in her bedroom, she would hear him listening outside, and she would always stop. Now she sang to him, letting her voice trail into the night, projecting it into the heavens so that he could at last hear it, and somehow she knew that he was there, listening to every key and note, smiling down on her. She looked up, smiled and started to sing for him.

She was lost in this world. There was nothing but her and her thoughts of her father.

Until something disturbed her.

Behind her. There was a noise.

Snape. She had forgotten about the risk of him discovering her. She spun her heard around to see the source of the noise. She saw a figure looking at the ground, a black shadow, then suddenly the head lifted up. It was Snape. She froze.

Shit.

She didn't know what to do. He could she the moonlight shining on his face, making him look snow white with black holes for piercing eyes. They stood and stared at each other, neither knowing what to do or say. "What is he waiting for?" Hermione thought to herself. "Why isn't he doing anything?" He started to walk backwards. She was about to speak, to beg and plead with him not to tell anyone about this…

"Don't speak. Don't say a word." He said gently. She hung her head, waiting for the blow to fall, for him to start his long line of snide remarks and torturous warnings of how he was going to tell everyone about this.

"Sir I'm…."

"No, don't say anything." He carried on walking back, leaving the corridor wide open. "Go." He said. She was confused, why wasn't he telling her off and escorting her back to her room, waking Magonagal on the way? He was just stood, staring at her. "Go, now." She took her chance and ran past him, still confused over why he let her go. She ran down the spiral staircase, running into the darkness but not slowly down, counting the stairs as she went as not to trip on them. She got to the bottom at last, turned and fled in the direction of the Gryfindor common room. As she began to run up the stairs, she stopped and heard a voice calling.

"Wait!" It was Snape. He must have realised it was her. Instead of giving herself up to him, she carried on running, hearing his footsteps speeding behind her. She was slowing down and he was speeding up, there was no way that she could out run him. She turned sharply and hid in the shadow of the wall, holding her breath as she heard him getting closer, her chest heaving, her heart beating so fast and loudly that she thought he might hear it. She saw him then, running up the stairs, getting closer and closer to her, he would find her, there was no possible way that he wouldn't…

"Severus? Is that you?" Hermione's heart sank as she heard the voice of the head of her house. She heard them talking, not listening to what they were saying, closing her eyes and waiting for them to look for her together, seeing the disappointment on McGonagall's face….

Then suddenly, Snape began walking back down the stairs. Hermione opened her eyes and watched him walk down them, looking back every so often to find her. Once out of sight, she came out of the shadow, breathing at last a deep breath. She wasted no time in retreating to the safety of her room, getting back into bed, letting her mind twist and turn, churning over the events of the evening. And for the first time since her father's death, she fell asleep thinking of someone else instead of her father.

**HALF PAST SIX! YES! Not happy! I know, not much different from chapter 3, however I feel that you have to understand what both are thinking and feeling, so I do this a lot. Well, will update tomorrow evening after work! Ciao!**

**OH! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, I would normally put a load of replies up but I don't have time and have to get to school for a 7hr day of acting. Yay.**


	5. What Were You Thinking?

In the Darkness

**I feel so special! Hope you enjoy! OOOHHH Phantom of the Opera is out on DVD soon! Yay!**

Chapter 5

The alarm known as Lavender woke Hermione for the first time in a long while, by accidentally falling over Hermione's bed in the semi darkness of the cool spring morning.

"Shit!" She exclaimed as quietly as she could, preying that Hermione wouldn't wake up. But she did. "Sorry Herm, I didn't mean to wake you…"

"It's ok." Hermione said groggily, "I need to get up anyway. What time is it?"

"It time for breakfast, I was just on my way there now…" Hermione knew that she had overslept because of the fact that Lavender was just going to breakfast. Lavender was always late.

"Shit!" Hermione exclaimed, leaping out of bed and rubbing face.

"You want me to wait for you?" Lavender said.

"Would you? I'll be two minutes I swear, I just need to get dressed and brush my hair…"

"Sure thing, I'll wait for you downstairs though." As Lavender wandered aimlessly down the stairs to the common room, Hermione excused herself to the bathroom to get ready, wondering the whole time why it was that she had had such a good night sleep.

Five minutes later, Hermione appeared in the common room, noticing the lack of people with them. Lavender had indeed waited for her, staying true her word. Together they walked towards the Great Hall to get their breakfast.

"I feel like crap." Hermione said unexpectantly.

"You look ok."

"I don't feel it. I had a great night's sleep and I still feel crap. I hate getting up late."

"Hey, quit complaining, you can actually get up and within five minutes look great. It takes me all morning and I still don't quite get it most of the time."

"Oh please…"

"Come off it Herm. Look at you. No make up, no fitted clothes, no hair product… well ok, so you could be taught how to straighten it..." Hermione looked at her. ".. but other than that you look great." Hermione did indeed look good effortlessly, although she didn't see it herself. Her pale ivory skin was flawless with no blemishes and a slight natural blush to it, her large fawn eyes always sparkled brightly. Her hair had calmed slightly, making itself into loose but fly away chocolate brown curls that fell onto her shoulders. She had a naturally slim figure without exercising or eating particularly healthily, and managed to maintain such a body with the stress levels she would often experience from schoolwork. Underneath the baggy clothes were a thin waist and slim hips yet enough curves to suit her delicate and petite form, accompanied by small pert breasts that were often thought of by her as being too small but in actual fact they were the right size. Hermione secretly envied Lavender's larger assets and the attention that they got her from a whole manner of people. Hermione was oblivious to the secret desires and thoughts in which she played the main role inside the minds of many of the boys in the school. She was blissfully unaware of the flirting that a lot of her fellow Gryfindor boys gave her, and how disappointed many were when it was not reciprocated.

Chatting gossip and the oh-too-gory details of Lavender's new love interest, the girls made their way to the near empty Great Hall, nearly being ushered out by the prefects before explaining that they wanted to grab some toast. They grabbed a few slices each and made their way to their first lesson, Potions. A pang of worry hit Hermione's stomach, she had forgotten all about last night and her episode with Snape. This was it, the shit was going to hit the fan she thought to herself as she suddenly realised that she was outside the potions room. She calmed herself and she took a deep breath as she walked into the dark classroom. Snape had just entered himself, so she quickly took her seat so she didn't draw attention to herself. She turned to Harry and Ron who had noticed her come in, Harry smiling at her.

"Where were you two this morning?"

"Quidditch practise, remember? Anyway, where were you? We were back for breakfast, we didn't see you there."

"I got up late." Hermione said quietly.

"What? You, getting up late? Damn, pigs might fly after all!" Laughed Ron.

"Not funny Ron, it made me remember just why I get up early. I was all rushed and everything, not nice."

"You slept well I take it then?" Harry asked.

"Yeah I did. Why?"

"Just wondering." Said Harry. Hermione wasn't convinced.

"Why?" She asked again. Harry looked back at Ron who was getting his things out of his bag, then leaned in near Hermione's ear.

"I saw you leave Hermione." Hermione's face dropped. "I saw you this morning. I heard someone downstairs so went down to see who it was. It was you. I looked on the map to see where you were going and there you were in the tower. With Snape." Hermione looked at Harry accusingly.

"What are you saying Harry?"

"Why were you both there? Is there something going on?" Hermione didn't know if she was disgusted or offended with Harry for even thinking anything like that.

"I can't believe that you…" She began quietly, but Snape decided to start the lesson.

"Silence. You will carry on from yesterday with your Pyroice potions, you should all be at step 3 after yesterday's lesson. Today you will finish then I will come around and inspect the finished result. If it is not right you will repeat the whole thing next lesson. Homework will be handed in at the end. Continue." He said simply and began his usual stalking around the class, looking for any wrong potions to correct and take points off for.

"Harry, I cannot believe that you would, one, think anything like that, do you know what you are saying? And two, check up on me and where I go!"

"Tell me Herm, what were you doing up there with Snape?"

"I couldn't sleep! I always go up there when I can't sleep!"

"What, with Snape?"

"No you idiot, he caught me!"

"He doesn't seem very angry."

"Harry, have you lost your mind? Listen to yourself, that is sick."

"Snape didn't show up at breakfast today."

"And you're point is?" Hermione looked at Harry, knowing that he was reading her. She could not believe that he was accusing her of… that! He breathed out suddenly.

"Sorry Herm. I'm not with it. I jumped to conclusions, getting up early, going to bed late. I just couldn't think of anything else that you would be doing up there with him."

"It's ok. I know it must have looked dodgy, but come on, Snape?"

"What were you doing?" Hermione paused and thought of her answer.

"I was thinking of my dad. Sat, looking out of the window. He came in and starting saying all this stuff about pupils being out of bed. I don't think he recognised me in the darkness because he said that he would be speaking to my head of year in the morning and all that, and McGonagall hasn't said anything to me yet."

"Jesus that was lucky!" Neither of them heard Snape creep up behind them until he spoke.

"What, prey tell, is so important that you do not give this highly dangerous potion your full and undivided attention?" He said in a dangerously low tone. Hermione jumped and Harry turned around to look at him.

"We were…talking about the Quidditch, Sir. It was practise today."

"I am aware of that Mister Potter, what I am unaware of is how that is associated in anyway to this subject and in particular this highly volatile potion when you are clearly in a lesson and not in Quidditch practise. Ten points from Gryfindor, for your lack of concentration." And with that he turned and slowly began moving away. Harry pulled a face to him behind his back, then turned to Hermione, not knowing that Snape was in listening distance of them, and said.

"He definitely didn't know it was you last night, or else you would be dead right now. The Astronomy Tower Herm, what were you thinking "

Snape stopped and spun around, starring hard at Hermione, his mouth open slightly, a look of suspended disbelief on his face. Hermione's eyes opened wide, hearing what Harry had said, knowing that Snape now knew it was her. Shit was the first thing that came into her head. She could feel Snape's gaze burning into her, wishing it to stop, knowing that she couldn't bear to look at him.

"Granger, stay behind after class."

And that was it. With a swift turn he retreated to his desk, keeping his head down as he did, sitting promptly and marking any random papers. Hermione just closed her eyes and tried not to think of the things that he was going to say to her. Ron had no idea what any of that was about.

"What the hell?" He asked. Harry gave him a warning look.

"Hermione, so I'm sorry. I didn't know I said it so loud." Hermione opened her eyes and took a deep breath.

"It's ok Harry. I was going to be found out eventually. Man, he is going to hurt me!" She smiled painfully. Harry attempted to smile back.

"Don't worry Herm, I'll stick with you. He can't do too much, you were only out of bed, the worst it will be with Snape is a week of detentions."

"He didn't look angry Herm, he looked more shocked." Added Ron. Hermione looked up for the first time at Snape. He was looking intensely at her, as if trying to figure her out. She looked back down quickly. She knew that she was in trouble now. Goddamn! She knew that he was going to mock her about this, tell everyone about it, and use it to hang, draw and quarter her. She waited silently, continuing with her potion, waiting for the blade to drop. A week of detentions as well as the humiliation of everyone knowing that she sung. There was no doubt in her mind that he would make her stand up in front of the Great Hall and sing to everyone, just to humiliate her more. She thought of all the things he would say, watched the laughing and mocking faces of all the students in Hogwarts as she sang to them in her mind… She put the last few ingredients into the cauldron and sat down, putting her head in her hands and waiting for the class to end, and the axe to fall.

**Ok, ok, not the reaction that you were all expecting, I know, but next chapter is from HIS pov, so all will become clear then! REPLIES!**

**Anarane Anwamane- Thank you! Hope this satisfys! This is different this time!**

**JTBJAB- NO! YOU MUST BREATH! It's been over 24hrs since I last updated, I wil be amazed if you review again...**

**Lene- Oh! That is one of the nicest reviews EVER! Thank you so much! What's your native language then? Mine is English and I am still terrible at it! As you have probably noticed I am so bad at spelling, so anything that the spellcheck doesn't pick up on doesn't get corrected... and I tend to write as I speak, with pauses in the wrong palces and stuff.**

**snapesepanss- Very true, too early to be awake. Your story doesn't hate you, it has just had a mild disagreement with you. I guess they do kinda need each other...**

**hiyahpfan- Thank you!**

**KDarkMaiden- YOU CRAZY PERSON! 5 EVERYDAY! WHY?As I said before, terrible at spelling/grammer, anything the spellchecker doesn't get, doesn't get got.**

**LupinLovesTonk- Lupin is one of my favourite character you know? ahem, erm, anyway, thank you!**

**Shortyst- Another chapter right after i've done this one, something I don't do often (upload more than once in 24hrs). But just for you, I will.**

**JTBJAB- Yay! You are alive! Only just saw the other review you gave! Thank you!**

**Severus-Fan- NOW! He finds out now! (My stories tend to be shorter, but if I wanted I could drag the idea of him not knowing forever... but it gets old so quickly)**

**hi- You read it twice? Aw! You're so nice!**

**Dragonsdaughter1- Thank you!**


	6. Doubting Himself

In the Darkness

**Oh my God I am so tired! You are all lucky that I have even updated today, I wasn't going to because I am so tired! Anyway, I have, so here it is! **

**My New Beta, KDarkMaiden, Thank you!**

Chapter 6

Snape stormed into the classroom, and after having a terrible night of sleep he was in no mood to be messed around with. The first and only important thing on his mind at this moment was finding that girl, that student, before she was forever silenced. Something that would sentenc him to an eternity of sleepless nights where the darkness is endless. He would not let that happen, not again.

The class of 17 and 18 year-olds chattered amongst themselves, getting themselves ready for the lesson. He stood at the front, shuffling a few papers into piles before starting the lesson as he always did.

"Silence. You will carry on from yesterday with yourPyroice potions. You should all be at step 3 after yesterday's lesson. Today you will finish, then I will come around and inspect the finished result. If it is not right you will repeat the whole thing next lesson. Homework will be handed in at the end. Continue." The students fell from avidly listening to him to going about getting ingredients and such. He began his usual walk around the classroom, ensuring that everything was as it should be, checking on potions and the student's ability to read instructions and anything else that might call for his attention.

As he looked over the shoulder of a student, he saw Potter and Granger talking in front of him. He looked and saw them leaning close together. Seeing them at such close proximity brought wicked thoughts and endless possibilities of what they could be talking so quietly about. He straightened and made his way over, only hearing Potter's last comment.

"Jesus that was lucky!" Potter said quietly. Neither of them had heard him standing behind them.

"What, prey tell, is so important that you do not give this highly dangerous potion your full and undivided attention?" He said in a dangerously low tone. Granger jumped and Potter turned around to look at him.

"We were…talking about the Quidditch, Sir. It was practise today." Severus wasn't stupid. He knew that they were not talking about Quidditch.

"I am aware of that Mister Potter, what I am unaware of is how that is associated in anyway to this subject and in particular, with this highly volatile potion when you are clearly in a Potions lesson and not in Quidditch practise. Ten points from Gryfindor, for your lack of concentration." And with that he turned and began to walk away, moving slowly so he could overhear their conversation. It was obviously something that they didn't want anyone else to hear.

"He definitely didn't know it was you last night, or else you would be dead right now. The Astronomy Tower Herm, what were you thinking?"

Something clicked in Severus' mind. Last night. The Astronomy Tower. Click. Severus's jaw dropped. It was Hermione Granger in the tower. She was the source of that voice. She was his angel. It was Granger who had run from him, and as a result of not finding her cost him his sleep that evening. It was her sweet voice that had calmed him the night previous, that voice that enraptured him, that lulled him even after the sound had stopped…

Hermione Granger.

It didn't make any sense. He spun around and looked at her, as if to affirm it, not wanting to believe it. He had discovered his angel so unexpectantly, when he wasn't even looking for her. It didn't seem right, this moment was suppose to be glorious with the heavens opening and a blonde haired blue eyed woman with a halo, dressed in white fly down as she sang to him. He couldn't believe it, out of anyone it could have been, it was Granger. The Gryfindor bookworm know-it-all, bushy brown hair, large chocolate eyes dressed in Gryfindor clothes. He saw her wriggle uncomfortably under his intense gaze as he forced himself to say something

"Granger, stay behind after class." That was the first and only thing he could think of to say. With a swift turn he retreated to his desk, keeping his head down as he did, sitting promptly and marking any random papers, trying hard not to look at her, however tempting it was to see her face. Eventually he did, he couldn't help himself. That was not his angel. His angel was beautiful, had a shimmering glow about her very presence… that was just Granger, the bookworm from Gryfindor. He was staring hard at her, as if she would magically transform in front of him, and prove to him that she was indeed the keeper of that beautiful voice. But she didn't. She merely looked up at him and crumpled under his stare. He relaxed slightly. That was not his angel. This was Hermione Granger.

He would have to talk to her about this. She had told Potter. He would surely tell everyone. Professor Snape letting Hermione Granger off with no punishment or anything. They would say he was getting slack, losing his touch. Or they would think…. No, no, they would never think that he would ever…. With a student… Or any student would with him….. He stopped himself from thinking. He was letting his worries run wild in his mind. No one would think that about him, he was far too respected. And they would never think he was getting slack, he could say to that that she ran and he couldn't find her. Simple as that. No reason to worry. And Granger would tremble before him in fear. He smiled. Yes, that is what would happen. He carried on marking the papers and waited for the lesson to finish so he could speak to Miss Granger, looking up at her every so often to see if she had transformed.

Before he knew it was time to dismiss the class, watching the classroom slowly empty, the last few people being Potter, Weasley and Granger. Potter had his hand on her shoulder, Ron was throwing random looks at Severus. He smirked.

"Potter, Weasley. Leave. Granger, here." He said. Potter threw him a disgusted look before taking his hand back and slowly walking out of the class with Weasley. Granger turned slowly and walked to the front of the desk that he was sat at. He leaned forward, trying to intimidate her. It worked. She recoiled slightly, folding her arms around her front and fidgeting uncomfortably. There was an uncomfortable silence between them, neither knew what to say.

"Sir, I.."

"I found you Miss Granger, in the Astronomy tower, singing, at 1:00 in the morning." He stopped and let her voice echo in his mind, bringing back his thoughts of her in the tower, disguised as an angel. He looked over her, and saw what he was doing to her. She was so uncomfortable and embarrassed. Normally he would revel in this, knowing that he was causing her so much discomfort, but this time it was different. This was his angel, the woman, no, girl, who had eased his mind and his pain, whom he had tried to find for what seemed like an eternity. He could not do this to her. He stood and walked around the desk and stood next to her, facing her. "Miss Granger, what would you do if you found a student out of bed at silly hours in the morning, a student who had an impeccable record and had never broken any rules… and being caught…" he added quickly, thinking momentarily back to a certain polyjuice incident, "… a student who knew the hours in which they could roam the school and which they could not, then fled when I approach them, hiding from me like a criminal. What would you do Miss Granger?" He said, his voice not faltering once, its tone deathly serious and low. She looked up uncertainly at him, not knowing what he wanted to hear.

"I, I don't know sir." She said quietly. He came closer to her, invading her personal space, trying to see her as the angel that he saw last night.

"Why did you leave your dorm last night? And why of all places did you go to the tower?" She hesitated before answering.

"I couldn't sleep. The tower is where I can think about things." He could see that she was feeling very uncomfortable and intimidated. He was about to speak, but she started before him.

"Please sir, don't tell anyone what I was doing, please, I don't care if you tell everyone that I broke the rules and everything, but please don't tell them that I was there singing, please, don't tell them the songs, I know you don't like me, but don't make me go through the humiliation of that, don't make me sing them for anyone else, you're the only person who's ever heard me sing, oh god don't tell everyone, please sir…" He looked down on her, confused, trying to understand the desperateness of this plea, why she was so bothered about people hearing her sing? He had never seen her like this, he didn't like it, it was unnerving seeing Hermione Granger pleading as if for her life… he wanted to reach out and touch her, to comfort her, he had an indescribable urge to comfort her… She was only a few inches in front of him, he could just reach out and touch her… his angel…

"Miss Granger I am not one to listen to begging, so please desist!" He said, putting on his normal cold, unfeeling front. Her eyes wide, she stopped and looked down at the floor at his feet. He moved slowly away from her, moving back around the desk, trying to decide what to do. He didn't want to punish her but he had to, he could not be seen not to punish her, but at the same time he wanted to comfort her and for her to sing for him. "Miss Granger, why do you sing?" She looked up at him for a moment then looked back down. He could see her churning this question over in her mind, she knew what his next question would be and he knew right away what reaction he would get.

"It helps me sleep."

"What do you sing about?" She paused as she took a breath, fighting back the emotion.

"Please Sir, don't make me answer tha…"

"What do you sing about, Miss Granger?" She paused again.

"My father." She said in a broken voice. He could hear the tears fighting to break through. He knew that he shouldn't force her to talk, but part of him wanted to. He thought of the words. They made sense.

He smiled to himself. He understood now. He couldn't make her deal with her father's death. He of all people could not make her, not now, not after everything that he had done.She was weak from fear and desperation already, he could not break her.

"Miss Granger, you will serve a weeks worth of detentions with me, here, from 7:30 to whenever I decide to let you go. You will start tonight. I will not tell anyone what you were doing in the tower, if anyone asks you were getting something from the tower and you were unfortunate enough to be found by me. What you were doing in the tower is between you, me and Potter. Do you understand and agree?" She looked up, not believing that he was being so comprising and understanding.

"I didn't tell Harry, Sir." She said slowly. Severus was slightly taken aback. He thought that she would have, he was after all her best friend, and from the look of how close they had been before maybe even more…. No! It had nothing to do with him what this girl did with her love life!

"Well he has no need to know, as no-one else does, it is not their business. I shall see you here at 7:30. That is all Miss Granger." She quickly wiped an escaped tear from her cheek, nodded, picked up her bag and quickly left. Severus leant back, amazed by his own compassion, which he had forgotten that he had. He heard Potter questioning her outside as the door shut slowly. He sighed, still pondering over his compassion and feeling for that woman, no, girl. He watched the scene over and over again in his mind, watching her slowly break down, watching as he wore her down, as she tried to control her emotions. He watched her perfectly smooth ivory face betray her feelings as she tried so desperately to disguise them, watching her brown eyes dart to and from him, trying to understand him, something that she would never do, that no-one would ever be able to do, even if she was given the chance…

No! No, no no! Severus thought to himself, no, now that's going too far, he felt pity for the woma... no, girl, that was true, but he saw her as nothing more than that, and he didn't want to. As his next class slowly filled up the classroom, he desperately tried to tell himself that that was true, and for the first time since his youth, he found that he was doubting himself.

**I am so sorry that I haven't replied to anyone's reviews, I am just so tired, I want to get to bed! School, acting Steven Berkoff (which is physical and difficult), walked home because I have no money for buses (4 miles)then cadets in the evening and they made me march! Not funny! Will update WITH replies tomorrow! _Thank you to everyone who has reviewd so far!_**


	7. Bend Over Lav

In the Darkness

**Ha! Finally I have slept a little! Nice! ONWARDS!**

Chapter 7

"What happened?" Asked Harry as soon as Hermione left Snape's chambers.

"What did he say?" Ron said quickly.

"Did he give you any detentions?"

"Did he take off points?"

"I didn't hear him shout, did he shout?"

"Or was it the deathly quiet approach to scare you?"

"ALRIGHT! Alright guys! Calm down, one at a time." She said suddenly, startling them some what.

"Have you got any detentions?"

"Yup, all week."

"Ow, that's harsh!" Ron replied.

"What did he say about been up in the tower?"

"Oh, so I suppose that you told Ronald then?" Harry looked away, grinning. "He called me all the usual things, typical rule breaking Gryfindor, how he was so disappointed in me, all that."

"That's kinda light really."

"We have to talk more about it in the detentions or something." She said quietly.

"That's evil. I mean, you never break the rules." Harry got a glare from Hermione. "Often." He added hastily.

"I've got detention every day for a week. How am I going to get my homework done?"

"Perhaps he would let you take it with you to do it." Ron suggested.

"That's not much of a detention is it?" Harry replied

"It would be for me."

"Yes, but this is Hermione we're talking about. It wouldn't be a punishment for her now, would it?" Hermione couldn't suppress the smile that played on her features as Harry said that. He looked at her and smiled, and she knew that he was trying to cheer her up. Together they made their way to their third lesson, Transfiguration. They took their usual places, Harry and Ron chatting about the Quidditich practise earlier while Hermione dwelled on her conversation with Snape and what she would be doing in detention. Worrying that he would make her talk about her father's death, she found it difficult to concentrate, not realising just how distant she had become Ron pointed out that the book that she was copying from was Muggle Surgery- Volume 2.

"Erm, Herm, you planning on turning that bowl of water into a saw?"

"Hm? What?"

"That book. You thinking about learning to become some kind of doctor?" Noticing her mistake she quickly put the book away before McGonagall saw her.

"Muggle surgeons don't use saws anymore, and if they have to, they would use electric ones, which I doubt you will know anything about."

"Hey, only trying to help. You've been sat there for the past two minutes!" Harry looked up.

"What is?" He asked, joining the conversation.

"Just saying Herm's been sat there not working for the past two minutes. It's a new world record in the book of Hermione!" Ron said melodramatically. Harry grinned.

"Congratulations Miss Granger! You have just won a week of detentions with Snape!" At this Ron began clapping. "How do you feel?" He said, holding a pretend microphone and putting it at Hermione's mouth.

"Oh Mr Potter, I am just so happy! I mean, a whole week of detentions, not been able to do my homework, spending late nights with Snape, well what can I say, every female Gryfindor's dream!" She said unconvincingly. Harry lowered the pretend microphone. Ron was looking at him as if he was strange.

"What are you doing with your hand Harry?"

"What? Oh, it's a microphone." Showing him his loosely clenched hand, and pretending he was talking into it.

"A what?"

"A microphone? It's a muggle thing that makes people… oh never mind. Hermione, explain what a microphone is sometime will you?"

"I would, but it is unlikely that I will be alive after tonight, having spent a whole evening with Snape. I will either be hexed beyond repair or mentally scared from the hours of relentless abuse!"

"Come off it Herm, it won't be that bad, he'll make you clean the cauldrons about five times, muttering the whole time about how pathetic you are and all that. After a while you will just get immune to it. Trust me, ignore it and you'll do fine, just say 'Yes sir' and 'No sir' and you'll be fine. In fact, count the times that he tried to put you down, every snide remark, everything, then tell us. How many do you think that Snape can fit into one night Ron?"

"I don't know, a whole night?"

"A whole night of detention."

"Right, well, I'd say at least 15."

"I don't know, he manages to say at least three things about Gryfindor per hour in his lessons, you're doing 7:30 till late right? Yeah, 15 sounds good to me." They laughed at themselves.

"I am just not looking forward to it, that's all." Hermione mused. Harry put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, letting her lean her head on his shoulder, realising a small sigh. They stayed there for a few moments before Ron jabbed Hermione in the arm before looking as though he was truly concentrating on what he was suppose to be doing. Harry and Hermione quickly let go of each other just before McGonagall passed them, looking down on their work.

"Miss Granger, you haven't done very much this lesson."

"I know Miss, I was reading the instructions so I could be fully ready for when I got to them, then realised that I didn't understand the fourth step, which is where I am now."

"It isn't difficult; it's very simple in fact…" And she began the lecture of exactly what should be done and how. Hermione looked up and noticed Harry smirking at her. She winked and looked back at the page, looking interested again. She had done this particular change twice before so she knew what to do. Hermione wasn't as good as everyone thought, she wasn't bad or naughty by any stretch of the imagination, but she discovered that she was a very convincing liar when it was needed, and she was very good at improvising such lies. It had saved Harry and Ron a fair few times and had saved a few points from being deducted from Gryfindor. He just smirked at her knowingly and continued with his own work.

The rest of the day seemed to breeze by. Hermione soon pushed the thought of her detentions with Snape to the back of her mind, mainly because the boys were trying so damn hard to entertain her, showing her their latest trick of Harry breath fire from drinking water, Ron shouting the magic words as Harry took a mouth full of water and spat it out as fire. They made it up together. As entertaining as it was, Hermione couldn't help but show her concern as Harry's shirt was nearly set alight, after which she insisted on putting a fire charm on him to stop him and his clothes from burning. When the day had finally finished, they all sat around the fire in the common room, Ron, Hermione, Harry, Lavender, Seamus, Dean and Neville, chatting and laughing loudly, the warmth of the fire relaxing in the same manner that an alcoholic beverage would, warming the soul and relaxing them, all comfortable with one another.

"Hey, can you remember in the fifth year when we all thought that you had sneaked your way into the Goblet? We never figured out how you did it."

"Some of you did, man I can't believe that you would seriously think that I, of all people, would deceive you. I was mortally offended and I don't think that I shall ever recover from that ordeal."

"Whatever Potter!" Ron said, mimicking Malfoy. It caused a slight laugh from everyone.

"I don't think that Malfoy's that bad really." Lavender suddenly. Everyone stopped laughing straight away and stared hard at her. "What? I don't mean personality wise, no no, he's an arrogant prick, however, he's not bad looking…"

"What?"

"No way!"

"That slime ball?"

"Yeah, there's something about him, I can't describe it…"

"That's exactly how a fly feels when it's attracted to the blue light of the zapping machine that kills it, hey, perhaps it's Malfoys way of getting girls, they are mesmerised by hair, the brightness of the blond…" This caused a full laugh from everyone.

"Come on, Hermione, back me up here, he's not THAT bad, is he?" All eyes were on Hermione.

"We talking just looks?"

"Yup."

"Hm…. He's not that bad, no, he had got something about him, that mysterious bad boy thing…"

"Yes! That's exactly what I was thinking!" The guys were amazed.

"You women! You are so confusing!" Dean cried. "You say that you want to be romanced and loved and all that shit, but you're both loving this whole bad boy thing? Make your bloody minds up!"

"Us girls like a bit of rough every now and again, don't we Herm?"

"We sure do, but not all the time…"

"Oh no, boyfriends have to be all lovey dovey, but we all love that bad boy streak."

"Kinda like, one night stand you want a rough, untamed guy, long-term you want a pussy cat with claws, right Lav?"

"How would you Herm? You have less than no experience…"

"I know what I want! With or without experience!"

"So that's where I've been going wrong all these years!" Ron said thoughtfully.

"No mate, you're just plain ugly!" Seamus added. They all laughed, it was a common pastime, to put each other as often as possible. It was harmless fun and was never taken seriously.

"Wait a minute…" Neville said. Everyone turned to him, as Neville never spoke unless it was fully thought through in his mind, which often meant he was talking crap.

"Oh bloody hell, the guru is about to speak!" Ron said. They all leaned in, giving him their full attention, and trying to intimidate him into stuttering at the same time. Neville hated it when everyone looked at him like that.

"I was just thinking, if you ladies like the mysterious bad boy thing, if all you say is true, you must love Snape! He's perfect right? Tall, dark, mysterious…" Everyone burst into laughter, including Neville.

"Oh yes…" Harry said through tears of laughter, "They want to run their hands through his greasy hair… without it sticking to his head from the sheer amount of grease!"

"Get it right Harry, we want those skilled and rough hands to touch our naked bodies, don't we Herm?"

"We sure as hell do!"

"Lavender, you sound as if you know his hands are rough from experience. Care to share the truth with us?" Dean said, still laughing. Lavender looked away, pretending to be ashamed.

"It was last year, I had a detention. When I was cleaning his desk, I was bent over it… he came behind me… literally…" There were outcries of disgust at this remark.

"That is sick!"

"Oh my god Lavender…"

"Eh up Hermione, haven't you got detention with Snape tonight?"

"SHIT! What time is it?"

"It's nearly 7:30."

"Damn, I'm gonna be late! Have to go guys, sorry!" She got a quick peck from Harry and a wave from Ron before hurrying out of the common room, hearing Dean shouting.

"Don't bend over will you Hermione! Ask Lav what happens! So that's why he wants you late nights!" She laughed to herself and left, running down the stairs carefully. She loved her group of friends. They were all so close, not as close as Harry and Ron, but everyone meant something to her. They would often sit in front of the fire and play cards, drink butterbeer, or just chat. Most of the conversations were sexually orientated, at first she was offended at such language and subject of conversation, but she grew immune to it and often contributed to it herself. She had learnt a lot from the lads, the minds and desires of the mainly 18 year old boys, still as immature as a 14 year old. Hermione felt immature, but she didn't care. She did want to grow up quickly; she enjoyed messing around with her mates and talking about stupid and pointless things. Her father always told her to stay young as long as possible, the trials and tribulations of growing up weren't worth the end result he would say. She felt that he said this, partly because he didn't want her to get a boyfriend, just like any father, and partly because he had to grow up so quickly himself, he had almost missed out on childhood and he wanted hers to be the best it could be. If the death of her father had taught her anything, it was that life is precious and every aspect of it should be explored. She considered this stage of near adulthood an exploration of that stage of her life, when else in her life would she able to act like that, with a group of lads that wanted her companionship and not anything else? There would be a time for her to grow up, but now wasn't it.

She finally arrived at the dungeons, slightly out of breath, and knocked on the door. The familiar "Enter" was heard, so she took a breath, remembered how she felt just a few minutes ago with the lads, how relaxed she was, then went in, closing the door quietly behind her.

"Good evening Professor."

Ok, the worrying thing is that I am 17 and I still have conversations like that with my guy mates. There're like 12 of us at school who sit around the table playing cards and chatting and stuff, I am one of 2 lasses in that group. (There;s Jay, Ki, Leo, Podgy, Ash, Chris, Tomo, Ratty (Lewins really!) Cookie and Joe. Then there's me and Leanne!) So basically that whole last part was my typical convo with the lads and Leanne at school.

**Ok, as promised, replies!**

**LupinLovesTonks- Yeah, that new lyric law really messed my story up. Not very happy about that. But hey ho!**

**KDarkMadien- I love your reviews! They rock, nice and long! Some of my grammer errors are mistakes, others are where I should put stuff but I don't, the amount of times i've had spell check up because i've put ex. "What you looking at?" and not "What ARE you looking at?" You get the idea. Love Ya!**

**snapesepanss- Harry is a git. lol Yeah, he seems a kinda messed up guy does our Sevvie!**

**Severus-Fan- Hey, I update as soon as I can (which is about once a day) I'm a busy girl!**

**JustCallMeAGoddess-Thank you!**

**Emily- You should never be afraid to sing. Because one day soemthing will happen and you'll find that you will never be able to sing again, and you regret not letting people hear you for the rest of your life. Trust me, it happened to me. It's taken me 9 years to get my voice even close to the level it was was when I was 8.**

**storkee13- Come back! Hope this was soon enough!**

**AquaCherry66- tries to hold in the sick yeah that kinda thing does my head in too. It's cool sometime, when it's in context, but not all the time!**

**I Love Nerds 919- Hope this is good enough!**

**Draco is my bitch- lol! Enjoy my friend!**

**Emily L- Thamk you! You should get a username and everything (need help, just ask my dear!)**

**CathRakka- I want sprinkles and chocolate sauce over it too? Only joking, that would make me fatter than I already am! Here you go!**

**JTBJAB- Oh, O.o addicted huh? I could have some fun with that.. only joking! You've read my mind! (If you don't get it, re-read ur review!)**

**Lene- Dutch? That is so cool! I tried to learn Dutch and German but they did my head in because it made me sound like I was trying to spit or something. "Ich..." SOunded like I got something stuck in my throat. Anyhoo, you called me special! wipes the tear away Thank you! Singings great. I love it. There's nothing like belting out a good song!**

**Bronwyn- Cheers me dears! (As you can tell I am from Yorkshire!)**

**mjz- Thank you!**

**Margo Mancini- Now that's what a writer wants to hear! Thank you!**

**martha- Hm, this is why I have writers block!**

**danielle- I got the soundtrack to the Phantom of the Opera too, i love it! I know all the words and belt it out in my room with the organ music turned way up high... ahem yeah, thanks!**

**Legata Redwinters- Legata? Cool name! What is OHEMGEE?**

**hi- Ur welcum, gr8 review, cheers!**

**Soon2BeDirector- Oh no! It aint going to be Harry/Herm, trust me! But i'm glad that you like it, esp. If you don't normally read these types!**

**BlueJay- Sleep? Pmf! I can go for about 48 hours without sleep before I get really angry. That's why i've been so pissed off lately!**

**Rusty Ryan- Probably not going to to a POTO fic, glad you enjoyed!**


	8. Oh fuck!

In the darkness

**Okay Doky, sorry fot the lack of updates, I have had a SERIOUS writer's cramp, nothing I write seems to be good enough. But, i thought i'd stick this one on, see how you all like it, might change it yet, dunno though. Hope you enjoy!**

OHH! Go see Sin City! It's strange and violent in a sickly nice way, (i like those kind of movies) it's so cool! And Bruce Willis looks hot! Mind you so does Jessica Alba!

Chapter 8

Serverus waited anxiously for Hermione to arrive. He had waited somewhat impatiently for the past 15 minutes, expecting her to be early. She was only a few minutes late so far, but for some reason that he did not understand, he was already agitated by the fact that she wasn't there already. He felt as something, he wasn't sure what, it was strange, he couldn't really explain or justify it to himself, all he knew was that there was a niggling sensation that he didn't understand, and no matter how much he tried to push it away, it just wouldn't go. It was beginning to get annoying.

He found himself looking eagerly at the door, that was until a small rapping brought him back to reality. He cleared his throat and looked down to the papers that he was supposed to be marking.

"Enter." He called. She opened the door and slid through it, closing it quietly behind her. He looked up at her as she stood still in front of the door.

"Good evening Professor." She said calmly.

"Miss Granger." He acknowledged her with a curt nod and gestured for her to stand in front of the desk where he was sat. She walked up to the desk and stood in front of it. Snape put the quill that he was holding down slowly quill, taking as much time as he could, knowing that she would be getting anxious as to what his plans for the evening were. Waiting is always the worst part of anything. He set his quill down and looked at her, leaning forward on the desk, interlocking his fingers in front of him. She looked away from his gaze.

"Miss Granger, are you aware to the full extent why you are here?"

"I think so sir."

"Let me reaffirm it for you. You are seen to be a model student Miss Granger, although not everyone thinks like that, believe me Miss Granger…"

"Note to self," Hermione thought, "1 put down."

"… And as a model student you are expected to act like one. However, wandering around the school at night, after hours, is hardly the behaviour of such a student! Not only last night, but the night before! And, you ran from me when I clearly called you back to me. Merlin only knows how often you have been up there. And your singing could have easily woken another student…" Hermione looked up.

"It wasn't that loud…"

"You are in no position to reply to me unless I ask for you to, and I believe that you have no sense of judgement because yes, I heard you and you were loud!"

"Note to self," Hermione thought, "He would hear me, bats have an excellent sense of hearing."

""How many times have you been up there?" There was a pause. She obviously knew that this conversation was coming, but still hadn't prepared for it.

"I don't know sir."

"Why there?" His voice was beginning to sound genuinely inquisitive and gentle, rather than his usual voice trying to get them admit what they have done wrong and how he could rub it in that they had been caught. She paused.

"It's quiet. Not many people would go all the way up there that late at night. The window ledge is open to the night, and I can make as much noise as I want because no-one would hear me." Severus thought to himself.

"I heard you."

"You weren't supposing to though Sir."

"Why don't you want anyone to hear you?" She looked down, away from his gaze.

"I… I don't know."

"I think you do." She looked up at him.

"If you think that you know the answer yourself, I beg you to share it with me because I have given you my honest answer. If that isn't good enough for you then please, feel free to make your own suitable answer up." He was slightly taken aback by this unexpected statement. It was obvious that she would get very defensive very quickly about this subject. For a moment he didn't know what to say in reply to that

"That was uncalled for, Miss Granger." Once again she looked down.

"Sorry Sir." She said quietly. He looked over her, she wasn't her usual self whenever they began talking about this subject. He didn't know which angle to take this from, he nasty normal teacher self, or just ask questions, he couldn't tell which would get a normal reaction out of her. He took a deep breath as he thought about it, causing her to look up slightly at him, trying to read his expression as he looked back up at her, watching her. She looked back at him, looking into those almost black eyes that seemed to glisten in the candle light. She had never properly looked into his eyes, there seemed to be something there within them, it was like a shimmer that was ever so subtle, it was like pin points of light shining slightly, each fading delicately into the next, like fire flies in a cave. She followed the pin points down, each seemingly illuminating a different emotion on the walls of the caves of his eyes, like doorways to his soul that seemed to stir as she tired to open them.. She suddenly felt a longing to know what was behind them doors, what was in his soul, what had happened to him to make him the person he was, the man who was now looking intently at her, watching her, reading her. He blinked, putting up the boundaries before her as she realised that she had been staring at him for the past 10 seconds. She looked away, glancing awkwardly at the floor.

No-one had ever looked into his eyes like that before with such yearning before, she was trying to read him, almost to understand him… he knew straight away. She wasn't just staring at him, she was looking into his eyes. No-one would ever understand him. He glanced away before speaking.

"For you're detention you will clean the cauldrons. Without magic. There're in the far corner." And with that he picked up his quill and began writing again. She sighed, quickly looking at him, then turned and walked to the back of the class, picking up the old cloth on the way, folding it and beginning to scrub the cauldrons when she got to them.

Fifteen mintues had passed, and she was still scrubbing the same cauldron furiously. She spat on it and rubbed it in to make it shine before placing it down and looking at Snape, who looked disgusted that she had spat on to it. She let a small smile grace her features before turning back to get another cauldron, leaning over the table to reach the cleanest one. She knew that he was still looking at her as she did. Suddenly, Lavender's voice spoke softly to her in her mind…

'"It was last year, I had a detention. When I was cleaning his desk, I was bent over it… he came behind me… literally…"'

Hermione couldn't help but let out a stifled giggle as she thought of that scenario. Snape was still looking at her.

"Is something amusing, Miss Granger?" She tried not to look at him so that she wouldn't laugh more, imagining him stood behind Lavender as she turned around slowly…. Shit she had to answer.

"No sir."

"Are you sure?" She tried to reduce her laugh to a large grin but failed.

"Yes sir…" She said quietly. She picked up the cauldron quickly and began scrubbing it with a smile on her face, trying desperately not to laugh. Snape carried on looking at her, trying to figure out what she was laughing at. He sighed. Women.

After the seventh cauldron was sparkling clean, she stopped and wiped her dripping forehead with the back of her hand, arched her back to feel the sweat on her back soak into her shirt. She was too warm, the stagnant air she breathed was clammy with low oxygen levels. She rubbed her sore arm from scrubbing, massaging it gently, untying the knot in her tight muscles.

"Why have you stopped?" Hermione turned to see Snape looking at her questioningly.

"My arm hurts." She said simply.

"You have no idea of pain Miss Granger, carry on." How dare he! She had been scrubbing the last cauldron for the past 45 minute's at least non stop.

"And you have Sir?" She said smartly. He looked up slowly at her. Hermione saw something in his eyes, even from the back of the classroom that she had never seen before, she was intimidated by him just looking at her. Even she in her fit of anger did not want him to answer.

"Yes." He said simply, but there was nothing else that needed to be said. There was nothing up for discussion. She picked up the rag and began scrubbing under his stare, knowing that her arm was going to cramp or seize up any minute. Snape carried on marking his papers, when suddenly…

"Oh fuck!" Hermione cried out. His head snapped up to see her face screwed up, clutching her right arm, trying to move it. He frowned as he stood up and walked quickly towards her. She opened her eyes to see him, and instinctively took a small step back that would not have been noticed by anyone but Severus. He paused. Did she just flinch from him?

"Give me your arm."

"I can't it hurts…"

"Give it to me." He said firmly, her eyes looking to him questioningly; untrusting. He simply looked back at her, the emotionless mask coating his stare. She extended it as much as she could before his hands touched it gently, wrapping themselves around her forearms. Somewhere subconsciously she noted that his hands were rough, but not so rough that you couldn't hold them, and that they were warm and gentle…

He pulled it straight as she cried out again. He twisted it slightly and began firmly pressing the muscle with his expert fingers.

"Stop!" She said desperately, "You're hurting me!" Upon hearing this Severus instinctively loosened his grip slightly, before telling himself that this was the cure for intense cramps. He carried on pressing the twitching muscle until it stopped and Hermione's face relaxed slightly.

"Does it still hurt?"

"No…" He loosened his grip slowly, his fingertips just trailing a short distance as he let go, causing the hairs to stand on end. Hermione looked up at him as she brought her arm back close to her and rubbed it gently, feeling the shiver that his touch sent down her arm.

"A cramp as you would call it is the muscle contracting suddenly. The relief comes when you stretch it so that eventually it doesn't contract. The massaging loosens the fibres in the muscle, helping it to relax." Severus said, trying to ignore the shiver that he too had felt, and pretending that his hairs weren't stood on end just from a simple touch. He turned and began to make back to the desk. "And that language is not what I would expect from you of all people Miss Granger." He said as he sat back down, not looking at her. "It's late. You may go. I would like to see you at the same time tomorrow night." He turned and pretended indifference at what he had just done.

Hermione was amazed and confused. Had Snape's touch just caused her to shiver? His firm massage sending unknown sensations through her body, like little jolts of electricity. Had he actually touched her, helped her through pain? She was disgusted at herself for thinking that Snape of all people could make her react like that, but her harsh judgement of him softened when she thought of his eyes, those doors that were pleading to be opened. His warm and gentle touch was unexpected, but somewhat soothing and comforting. She suddenly saw him for the first time in a different way, the man who had had a lot of pain and anguish in his life without love or being loved, no outlet for good or happy emotions, pent up emotions with no way of realising them, but so longed for something, someway to help him. She had never considered this side of him, and was confused as to why she had any reason to think this.

"Miss Granger. You can go now." He said, bringing her back from her thoughts. She nodded in a silent acknowledgment and walked slowly towards the door. She stopped and turned as she was about to open it.

"Professor?" She called. He looked up at her. "Thank you." She said. He said nothing as a gentle smile played on her features and with that she left the room, leaving Severus contemplating the nature of that smile, the sensations that he felt which he was desperately trying to deign, and if it was just him who felt them or if it was mutual.

**See what am doing here? I hate those stories where all of a sudden Hermione falls in love with Snape or visa versa, so am trying to ssslllloooowwwlllyy introduce it. REPLIES!**

**fujutsu- Thank you! Hope you enjoy!**

**Jia Ren Qu-I never knew that OEMGEE was that. I personnaly prefere OMG or WTF.**

**Fairy of Fire and Fury- I am so sorry that I ahve kept you up for so long by not updating! It's been a hell of a long time! Believe me my darling, all good things come to those who wait, bide your time and your enjoyment will come, I promise.**

**Lene- Pmhf! Not time for a long review! I'd better bloody have one next time! Anyhoo, yeah, that is a typical convo with me and my mates. Dumb aint we?**

**Anarane Anwamane- Thank you!**

**sexy she-devil- Thank you again!**

**JTBJAB- Bless you Lav was just messing. Don't fall off your seat now, I will not be liable for your injuries. lol**

**Professor Elvira- I have seen a little bit of Time Machine, why do you ask? Have you seen the new Sin City though, that is the question! Our Sevvikins is a sexy behatch!**

**eknibbe- I love detentions, esp. in the dungeons. Dark and sensual... yes please! i've started dribbling now so id better quit about D.Ts with the man. I love singing too. What do you sing? I do first soprano, there's nothing like singinga soloin front of 500 people. A right buzz! Tell me about your voice, I love music!**

**I Love Nerds 919- I kinda didn't update tomorrow... erm, kinda a while after... sorry...**

**Draco is my bitch- (cool name) So true.**

**SilverandSilent- Those poor guys if there are only 2 of them. Hehe. Oh, i love you! You are so nice!**

**izzy-updated my dear!**

**Alainne- Glad you enjoy it my sweet! I love getting review like yours!**

**Annette- CALM DOWN DEAR! IT'S ONLY A FANFICTION! (T.v. ad from th Uk, Brits will get it. At this point I would like to make a point that I work for the Halifax Bank, which owns Esure, the maker of those adverts. I get that damn ad on my intranet every day!)**


	9. New Windows

In the Darkness

**So sorry for the wait for this chapter, my internet had been bust. Here it is, slightly longer to try and make up for the length of time i've not updated!**

Chapter 9

Severus sat at his desk at 12:30; an hour after the detention had ended, trying to drive the thoughts of Hermione Granger out of his mind. Finally he threw his quill down in frustration, he just couldn't stop thinking about her, not only her voice, but her sweet face, those doe brown eyes that almost caught a glimpse of his soul, her soft ivory skin that his own rough hands had touched. She was so innocent and pure, so fragile, so untainted by sin and corruption…

Severus slammed his fist on the desk in anger. What was making him think like this? Why was his mind giving him these thoughts, new windows in his mind shining brightly new ideas and scenarios that he was so blinded by that he couldn't shut. He tried to block them out, but each time the light would filter through the small cracks he had left open. He had to shut them, he knew he must but somewhere deep down he didn't want to. Hermione Granger, the brightest girl in his 7th year class…. He could never think of her in such a way, it was immoral and wrong… yet the sound of her sweet captivating voice played in his mind, the vision of her innocent eyes trying to find his soul, he couldn't help it, he didn't understand what he was thinking or why, he just couldn't do anything about it.

He leaned back in his chair; stretch his arms slightly before standing and making his way to his private quarters. Once there, he poured himself a large glass of firewhiskey, sitting down on his large deep green sofa, holding his glass in one hand, his head in the other, gently rubbing his temples with his fingers, his face relaxing from its set frown. He took a sip from his tumbler, taking his hand from his face and looking into nothing, contemplating his thoughts and what to make of them. He drank again from his tumbler, realising then that he had in fact drunk it all. He would only have one glass per night, and would not allow himself to have anymore. He got ready for bed, slipping out of his heavy day clothes, folding them neatly over the chair, and sliding his naked body into his satin bed, letting the material glide over his rough, scarred skin. He pulled the covers over his chest as he turned on his side, resting his head on his folded arm, thinking about Hermione Granger, about her curious hold that she had on him. It would be over an hour before he finally slept, and when he did, his mind would lull his tormented mind with the voice of that angel…

Hermione closed the door behind her as she walked into the Gryfindor common room at 11:45. She had taken her time walking back from the dungeons, contemplating her thoughts of Snape, wondering what had happened down there, but mainly if it was his trailing touch over her arm that caused her to shiver….

"Ew! That's gross!" She thought to herself, "This is Snape I'm thinking of! What is wrong with me!" She tried to tell herself that it was the greasy bat that had touched her, not the mysteriously complex man whose eyes held her soul still. As she walked into the main sitting area she saw the fire which was a great roaring inferno when she had left was now smouldering embers, a few small flames refused to die, the rest were glowing coals. As a result, Harry, Seamus and Neville were huddled around it, trying to catch and hold the heat. She sat next to them, surprising them with her silent entry.

"Hey Herm, how'd it go?" Harry asked. In Hermione's mind there was no way that she could possibly begin to tell him about her night with Snape, esp. with Seamus and Neville present. She leaned back, bring her feet up on the large chair and curling up.

"It was ok. He made me clean the cauldrons."

"How many times?"

"Twice." She lied.

"Not bad. I had to clean them five times."

"I cleaned them properly the first time around, but they weren't shiny enough."

"Oh, of course, they have to be shiny!" He said sarcastically.

"Everyone else went to bed. Harry wanted to wait up for you, so me and Neville stayed up, even if Neville didn't stay awake… the thought was there." Seamus said. Hermione looked over at Neville. He was curled up on the chair, fast asleep. She smiled.

"We'd better wake him up and get him to bed."

"Yeah. I'm going up now anyway, so I'll get him up." He leaned over to Neville and grinned. "Shall I?"

"NO!" Hermione protested, "Don't be nasty. Just gently wake him up." Seamus grinned again and prodded Neville.

"Err mate, come on she's back. Get up and get your arse to bed you lazy git!" Neville opened his eyes and looked at Hermione.

"Oh, sorry, I was waiting up for you…"

"I know Neville, thanks. Go up to bed, I'll see you in the morning." Neville nodded in approval, got up and stumbled to bed, turning and giving a brief wave as a goodnight. Seamus stood after him and followed him but turned to face Harry and Hermione.

"Night you two. See you in the morning."

"Night Seamus." Hermione replied. Seamus stood looking at them both. "What?" She asked.

"Nothing. I was just thinking, you two would make a great couple. Night." And with that he turned and head to bed, leaving Harry and Hermione alone. Harry looked at Hermione.

"We get that a lot."

"Yeah. Strange really. Just because we're really good mates…"

"Yeah. Suppose so. So how was Snape? Did he put you down more than 15 times?" Hermione looked at him, contemplating if she should tell him or not. "What's wrong? If you wanna say something, say it!"

"What?"

"You look like you need to say something."

"How can you tell?"

"Dunno. Just can. I've been one of your best mates for nearly seven years now. I can tell." Hermione sighed.

"Harry, this is really important to me, can I trust you?"

"You know you can Herm. I would never tell anyone anything that you didn't want me to." She took a deep breath.

"I don't know how to put it, I don't fully understand it myself… but… I think that I… well… I saw a different side to Snape…"

"What? You mean one that wasn't Gryfindor hating?"

"Harry, please. I'm being serious. I don't know, I just did."

"In what way?"

"Well, I had a go at him…"

"Oh nice one! What did you say?" She sighed.

"Harry it's a long story that I haven't been telling you. I didn't want you to know because… I don't know why… but anyway, no-one else but Snape knows, and now you. I can trust you?"

"Of course Herm. You know it."

"Well, at night, when I can't sleep, I go up to the tower and I sing. Don't ask why because I don't know, I just do, it helps me sleep. One night Snape caught me, but I ran before he could recognise me, he was outside you see, then the next night I went back and he found me again, but he let me go, so I ran, then he ran after me… oh it's all so strange, I don't know why he let me go, I suppose that he didn't know it was me, then when you mentioned that I was lucky because he didn't catch me and he heard, he knew it was me and that was why he gave me those detentions. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn't, it's personal you see, and when he said why do you do it, sing I mean, I said I don't know, and he said 'I think you do', so I said something like 'If you know the answer, please share it with me because I have given you my honest answer. If that isn't good enough for you then feel free to make your own suitable answer up." Something like that."

"Wow Herm. First thing, why didn't you tell me this earlier? Second thing, what a kick ass thing to say to Snape? Did he kill you?"

"I hope not otherwise me sitting next to you would be quite a mystery. No he just said "that was uncalled for."

"As if. Nice one. Can't believe he only said that."

"I know, that's what I thought. He sighed so I looked at him, right in the eyes and I… I can't explain it… it was like, I saw something…. But I don't know what… oh I know I sounds silly, but I did, that's what I mean when I say that I saw a different side to him, I saw a man, not a horrible git teacher, a man with no joy in his life… I don't know… I sound stupid don't I?"

"No, no you don't. I know you, you see things that no-one else sees…"

"Harry be serious…"

"I am being serious! You can tell when someone is lying or is unhappy. You do it all the time with me, when I'm down and I think no-one will notice, no-one does except you. You've got this knack for things like that."

"Really?"

"Yeah! So if you say that you saw something in Snape, then I believe you. I can fully believe that he isn't happy, I mean, look at him. He lives life on his own, he's nasty and bitter…"

"… perhaps for a reason…"

"Yeah, but even so, he doesn't let anyone close. I don't just mean in a sexual way, I mean, he has no mates, you never see him down in the Three Broomsticks having a drink with a load of mates, you know? He's always on his own."

"There's something else too. I cleaned so hard…"

"… As I can imagine you doing…"

"Yeah, well, I got a cramp. A really bad one in my arm. And he… promise not to laugh?…. He came over and massaged it better." Harry's eyes widened and his lips curled into a smile.

"He massaged it better? No way, he did not…"

"He did, and it worked."

"Oh my God, I cannot believe… Ha! Wow, now that is something. He massaged it? What was he like, really rough or what? I can't believe that he touched a Gryfindor… Was he trying to break your arm? "

"No, he was really gentle, I mean it hurt because he was touching it, but he knew what he was doing, it was strange really, he really helped, and he didn't hesitate when it begun."

"How did he know that it was a cramp?"

"Probably because I screamed "Fuck" while holding my arm as I twist around in agony."

"You swore in front of him too? Oh my God, I cannot believe that you are still alive right now!"

"That's what I mean, I mean, I had a go at him, I swore at him, he massaged my arm better, I don't know, it just seems… I don't know. I just saw him in a different way that's all." A grin begun to spread across Harry's face.

"You like him don't you?"

"WHAT? Harry, please…"

"No, no, don't give me that, you do like him I can tell, the way you said that then, it was like you shamefully enjoyed it…"

"Come on Harry…"

"No, that's why you don't understand it yourself, because you don't like the thought of liking him, but you do and you can't help it…"

"Harry, keep your voice down!"

"Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You like Snape? Wow! Hey, I guess if we all look into his eyes and see this different side, we might all fall in love with him too!"

"Harry, please, listen to yourself. I do not like Snape!

"Yes, yes you do! Look at you!"

"I mean it, stop it!"

"Just admit it Herm!"

"There's nothing to admit Harry, and that's that! I saw a different side of him tonight, which is more that I can say for you, you're still acting like you're 12." Harry paused.

"Ok. If you say you don't, you don't."

"Thank you. Now, I am going to bed, it is far too late to be having this conversation! I will speak to you tomorrow when you are in a more reasonable mood!"

"I am in a good mood. I just hate it when you don't admit things to yourself, and others."

"There's nothing to admit…"

"Hermione, I won't be angry if you like him. It would just be…. Strange… it's Snape for God's Sake! I just don't understand…"

"Harry, please, there's nothing to understand. I just saw him as a man, not a horrible greasy git. He is human after all." He looked at her for a while.

"Ok Herm. I'm going to bed, see you in the morning." With a quick kiss and a teasing look, Harry left Hermione in the common room as he went to bed, considering the feeling that she had experienced for a second as Snape's touch lingered on her arm and the glimmer of emotion from the man that she had seen in his eyes.

**Ok! Replies!**

**eknibbe- Thank you! This chapter starts to bring in ideas.. you know what i'm saying? I also love acting, did it for A Level and GCSE. Tis ace! Hope you enjoy this!**

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**Jia Ren Qu- Hope that this is another to give you your fix until the next chapter, or you read a different story!**

**AmyLauren- Yes it does, even more so in this chappie!**

**Lene- Well, it has taken me FOR AGES to write this, well to update, my computer is fucked, however, love your reviews!**

**Fairy of Fire and Fury- SSSOOOOOO SORRY that it has taken so long for this! DON'T ABANDON ME!**

**SemiC- I aint too bothered about spellings or grammer. Am crap at both, however I don't like having Beta. So, if you don't like the mistakes? Don't read.**

**snowwhitebeauty- I don't fully know what OOC is, however, thank you?**

**Sea-Queen- ...Is now!**

**ssslytherin- Sin City rocks! Went to see Batman Begins the other day, that was good too. How hot is Christian Bale in that?**

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	10. Lover Boy's Here

In the Darkness

**Don't you just love that new HIT counter? I was so shocked, pleased, but shocked to find that this story has been viewed 2581 times! I was amazed. I didn't expect people to react the way that they have. I just wanna thank EVERYONE who has read this, regardless if you left a review. I reply to all reviews at the bottom. Thank you again, and I hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 10

Hermione got up in the morning only to find that Harry and Ron were out all day practising Quidditch on Harry's Firebolt. She found Lavender and together they sat outside in the spring sun, Hermione catching up on her homework as Lavender chatted away about her sordid love life, and sometimes the lack of it as the result of her "women's monthly problems." Before long it was lunchtime and still Harry and Ron were no-where to be found, and seen as Lavender had to meet Seamus, Hermione decided to visit Hagrid, and ended up stopping longer than she wanted, drinking copious amounts of tea and talking about up coming exams and life in general. Hagrid gently reminded her that it was in fact tea time, and together they made there way back to school and the Great Hall, only to find Harry and Ron sat together eating. She walked up happily to them.

"Hey guys! Haven't seen you all day, didn't think that Quidditch would be that long."

"It wasn't, we were finished by 3. Where were you?"

"At Hagrids." She got a few items on her plate and began eating, not realising how hungry she was.

"So Herm, how did you're detention go last night?" Ron asked as Hermione and Harry looked at each other, Harry trying not to smile, "Sorry I wasn't up but I was knackered from Quidditch…"

"No problem Ron, it was ok, my arm hurts still, he made me clean all the cauldrons." She said through a mouthful of pasta.

"Just like we said!"

"Just like you said."

"Did he make any snide, cutting remarks? Or were they all blatant with the intention to hurt?" Hermione had to improvise.

"A mixture really."

"Did you count them?"

"Er… yeah I did…."

"Didn't you say that there were only 6 or something?" Harry intervened

"Yeah, 5 or 6, he was busy marking papers or something."

"Wow, that's a surprise, what did he say?"

"He said… er, let me remember some of them, erm, one of them was… erm, oh, that was it, it was that the reason why he caught me in the first place was because Gryfindors had no idea of placing or rules, which was why Gryfindor do badly at Quidditch."

"Oh! That was nasty! Below the belt! What else?"

"I can't really remember, I was really tired…"

"Didn't he say that one, erm, oh what was it, oh yeah 'That isn't clean! I wouldn't serve a Hippogriffs dinner in that, let alone perform complex potions in it!'?" Added Harry, improvising helpfully.

"Oh yeah, he said that to me too, when I had to do that." Ron confessed.

"Yeah he said it to me too." Harry said whilst looking at Hermione.

"Guess he must say it to everyone…"

"Guess so." Hermione finished.

"And you've got another detention with Snape tonight haven't you? Bet you're not looking forward to that…"

"I'm sure she is." Harry snidely added, a grin widening over his face. "She'll find something to entertain herself with…" Hermione's eyes widened as she tried to get him to stop, but luckily Ron hadn't noticed and wasn't really listening, more focused on getting the last bit of jam on his toast. Harry just smile and winked at Hermione. She simply smiled sarcastically back. Snape wasn't at breakfast luckily, saving her the humiliation of Harry's remarks. She began to wonder where he was and what he was doing, imagining him lent over a cauldron in his chambers, steam billowing everywhere…

"What you thinking? Wondering where your sweetheart is?" Harry said in her ear.

"He's not my sweetheart."

"Liar."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh yes, I do. I saw your face drop when you walked in here to find that he wasn't here. It was obvious."

"You saw my face drop when I saw you sat there with a smug little gin on your face as you looked at me. Besides, you're out of your mind. I do not fancy him at all, and I am not bothered at the fact that he isn't here, if anything I'm glad, because that way I don't have to put up with you making stupid, totally untrue comments to me."

"But they're not untrue though…"

"Yes, Harry, they are. Now give over." She said. Harry continued to grin at her as she ignored his gaze and continued to eat.

"Eh up, Lover Boy's here…" Hermione looked up to see Snape striding down the Great Hall to the main teachers table at the front, taking his usual place as he gave a curt nod to the headmaster and a few other teachers, obviously ignoring the rest. When seated comfortably his eyes lifted and wandered across the room, falling eventually upon Hermione. She only saw those black pools of his eyes for a moment before turning away as soon as she could, not wanting Harry to catch her looking at him. Too late.

"What do you see in his eyes today Hermione?" He teased gently.

"Piss off Harry." She said bluntly.

"I think that he fancies you. I think that he'd love to have you over his desk."

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed, shocked.

"Imagine, those rough hands touching your body, those callous eyes looking at every inch of you…" He said quietly, leaning in to her so that he was whispering it in her ear. She tried to push away the images in her mind of these scenarios, but they wouldn't go. She tried to be repulsed or even laugh, but for some reason, she couldn't. She couldn't stop her eyes from wandering up to the main table, only to see Snape watching her, glancing away from her gaze as their eyes met.

"Yes, imagine me, slowly sliding his pants off as I lay underneath him, that pale chest rubbing against mine…" She purred in his ear, still looking at Snape as he began to pick food from the trays in front of him. Harry stifled a laugh as he slowly pulled away from her ear, obviously hearing too much.

"That's sick." He said grinning. "Funny, but sick."

"Now you know how I feel every time you say something like that about him." Harry just smirked. "Ron, what time is it?"

"Erm, 6:30. Why?"

"Just wondering. What are you guys doing tonight?"

"Not a lot, we've booked a game of cards for the lads. Sorry, you're not invited."

"Oh no, I am deeply disturbed that you didn't invite me." She said sarcastically. "I get to enjoy another evening with Snape." She realised what she had just set herself up for.

"Oh, I'm sure that you will find it a most positive experience Hermione." Harry grinned. Hermione just gave him the I-Am-Not-Amused face.

"What time's your detention?"

"7:30. Why?"

"Just thinking we can go to the common room and chill out before you go if you want, we haven't seen you all day."

"I'd prefer to take a walk outside, get my last moment of fresh air before I am trapped in the dungeons with the man himself."

"Ok, we'll walk with you. Tell us when you're ready."

"I'm good to go now if you two are."

"Ok, let's go then. You might wanna get a jumper Harry, it's gonna be nippy out there."

"Yes dad." Harry replied to Ron. As they got up to leave, Hermione resisted the temptation to look at Snape and see if he was looking at her. She walked out of the Great Hall, not knowing that the Potions Master was indeed watching her leave.

**Ok, sorry that this was such a dodgy chapter, the next will be better I swear! I know that the past chapters haven't really moved the story anywhere, but the next one will! I am gonna start writing it STRAIGHT AFTER this one, i'll get it out to you tomorrow hopefully. REPLIES!**

**Anarane Anwamane- I never looked at it that way. But I suppose that he could, if he wanted to.**

**Severus-Fan- Glad you like it.**

**storkee13- Thank you**

**BlueJay- I know! I am sorry for leaving you so long! Never again!**

**Princess Kalye- That is the question!**

**eknibbe- Of course Hermione will sing again. I just didnt want to cram everything into one night. Her first detention, then risking getting caught again? Nah! But she will sing again...**

**Lene- I love your reviews. I know that this is YET ANOTHER of their conversations, i'm sure by now it must be getting boring, however, the next chapters will be better, I swear it.**

**Mr Rusty Ryan- Thank you**

**SilverandSilent- Blushes I've never been bowed to before! Why thank ya kindly!**

**RainynDawn- Thank you. Thats what I think. I will hurry with my chapters, i'm just so busy all of the time!**

**ssslytherin- Christian Bale is so hot. His body is almost perfect. Not as perfect as Gerard Butler, he is the master of all sexy men, but he's close. I know, Liam Neeson is sexy as sin in that film. It's kinda wrong to admit, but there is something about him, even though he is 53... its the voice... OH JESUS the voice... You know who else I find strangly good looking due to the voice? Laurence Fishburne. Strnage, I know, however, theres just somethin about the voice... you gotta love the guy in The Matrix.**

**Fairy of Fire and Fury- THANK GOD! YOU HAVENT ABANDONED ME! I love your reviews. They mean a lot to me.**

**blackthornroses- Aw! Thank you! Love that review!**

**89- Don't you find it relatable? Man, maybe my friends and I aren't that strange after all! Perhaps all 17-18 yr olds have those kind of conversations...**

**More tomorrow, I will try hard to get it to you all! Please leave me a note!**


	11. Severus, You Coward

In The Darkness

**Ok, I wrote this in under 2 hrs (which is good for me, trust me) I haven't checked the spellings properly, like Wolfsbane, so there may be a couple of simple, stuipd spelling mistakes. It also may be slightly OOC (don't know what it means, but I mean Over The Top for our Sevvikins character, but I feel it nessacery. Look! I cant even spell that! GODDAMN IT!**

**However, it is 00:51, am I am updating for my loyal reviews. I had better get some bloody good, long reviews, I had better have AT LEAST 10 alerts in my inbox tomorrow morning... ggrrr, i'm a grumpy girl...**

Chapter 11

Severus stormed into the Great Hall at 6:15. He had completely lost track of time while working with his new batch of Wolfsbane potion, trying desperately to stay awake after the worst night sleep of his life. He had not slept, and as a result he was in the foulest of moods known to him. It had been two nights since he had felt that angelic voice calm his soul, and he was paying for it. He made his way to the table, nodding curtly at the headmaster and a few other teachers before sitting down. Once seated, he looked around the Great Hall at the mass of children, talking about nothing of any importance, shoving food into their greedy little faces. Not a care in the world. He cast his gaze over the house tables, falling eventually on the Gryffindor table. He watched as their little faces smiled and laughed, genuinely innocent and care free, nothing to worry about… until he saw Granger looking at him briefly, before quickly looking away.

He saw something different in her. A white light of pure innocence shone from her, blinding him with her simplicity, yet at the same time, tainted with the red of raw emotion of pain and somehow guilt. She didn't see life the way the other students did. It was strange…

He pulled his eyes away from her, not wanting people to notice he was looking at her. He exhaled and began to take food from the full plates in front of him, telling himself not to look at her again, that she was not looking back at him, yet he could somehow feel a heat burning into him. He glanced up, only to see Potter whispering in her ear as she stared at him, her lips brushing against his ear as she whispered a reply, still looking at him. He quickly looked away, feeling a strange sensation of anger inside him. Like a robot he dismissed his emotions and carried on functioning, picking up more food to his plate, his mind on auto pilot as he picked up his knife and fork and began eating. Potter. Goddamn Potter. Probably whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Probably saying what he'd like to do to her tonight, if only she wasn't in a detention with the greasy Potion's Master. Her replying, saying that if he waited up for her that she would meet him after….

Wait! Hold on a second! Why did he care about her sexual relations with Potter? Why was he even thinking of anything like that! It was sick and immoral. Besides, he didn't care. Even if she was like that, which he didn't think she was, not that it mattered because he didn't think about it, it had nothing to do with him.

He mentally kicked himself for thinking such thoughts. He looked at her again. A shy little know-it-all book worm. She probably wouldn't even know what to do with the boy, let alone a man…

NO! Stop it! It does not concern you. What concerns you is the fact that you have her in detention for the next week because she broke the rules, just like a normal student.

He void is mind of any thoughts of her, taking any emotion and hiding it in the back of his mind. He ate his food silently, not thinking of anything but how to make the Wolfsbane potion last longer. He did not think of her. He did not look at her. He could hear her squeaky voice, he did not imagine that voice in that terribly beautiful song. He did not want to hear it again. He felt nothing for her. So why could he not resist looking at her as she got up to leave, and wonder where she was going?

7:30 came around all too quickly for Severus. Leant over the cauldron mumbling a spell he hardly heard the door knock. Breaking his concentration he looked at the clock and realised that it could only be Miss Granger. He called her in and saw her timid form walk slowly into the room. He straightened and faced her, taking a step forward so that he was closer to her. He took a deep breath. He could smell the fresh air on her, the spring night had fell around her, enveloping her with its sweet scent.

"Miss Granger." He said in acknowledgement of her.

"Professor." She replied. He walked back to the cauldron, listening to her follow. He turned sharply.

"Did I ask you to follow me?"

"No Sir, I thought that…"

"Yes, well you thought wrong. This is a highly dangerous potion, the slightest mistake can have devastating effects. I will not have you messing it up, now please, stay away." She back away from him to where she was stood previously.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. I want you to wait there." He turned his back to her and focused his attention back to the potion, finding it difficult to concentrate when she was stood in such a close proximity to him. He sighed angrily. "Go stand by my desk. And don't make a sound." With her not so close to him, he found he could concentrate better. He began to mumble the spell again, getting lost in his concentration, knowing nothing but this potion and his voice…

15 minutes later he set the flame to simmer and turned back to face the girl stood by his desk. He was expecting her to be looking around absentmindedly, perhaps looking on his desk. But she wasn't. She was staring at him, eyes wide, her mouth open slightly in an O shape. He frowned. Yet she didn't stop. He did not recognise this look. He had received many different looks from many different people, but never this one. She looked amazed. In awe. Of him. He felt his brow crease, trying to understand her stare.

"May I ask Miss Granger, what it is that you find so amazing about me that calls for the need for you to stare?" He said nastily. His mind went automatically into cold faced teacher mode. She blinked a few times before speaking, glancing away briefly.

"I'm sorry, I, huh…" She smiled awkwardly. "I, erm, I've never seen you so… er…"

"Please Miss Granger, you are wasting my time. Either say what you want to say or cease mumbling." She paused, looking at him, deciding if she should say it. He was ready to take off points for a snide remark, a nasty comment, anything. But not for what she said.

"I've never seen anyone work with a potion with as much skill and precision as you just did. It was inspiring. Sir." She added on the end.

The comment hit him as hard as a slap across the face would. He was not ready for that. There was nothing he could say. He simply blinked, the walked forward towards the desk. She watched him as he did. He stopped in front of it and turned his head to look at her as she stood still by the side of it. She looked back at him, trying not to break the eye contact. He frowned slightly as he intensified his glare, and she looked away. Content with the result, he carried on walking around to the seat at his desk. But he stopped.

There was something niggling inside him. Something telling him that he was not content with the result. Not happy with the fact that he intimidated her so much that she couldn't bear to look at him directly in his eyes. For the first time in his life, he asked himself the question,

"Why should I be happy by bringing someone else pain?"

He looked at her again. She didn't look up at him.

This was the woman who had eased his soul for the first time since he was a child, taken away the nightmares and replaced them with that white healing voice. The woman who had soothed him without knowing it, made his heart tingle with emotion, shown him the closest thing to innocence. How could he hurt her? How could he revel in her pain? His voice spoke without him telling it to.

"Miss Granger…" She looked up at him. Her doe eyes looking into his for a moment, waiting for him to continue. He saw so much pain in them. So much suffering. How could he cause more? Through all of her torment she had remained pure. How could he try to enjoy breaking her?

"Yes Sir?" He found it harder to go back to his auto piloted cruel mask.

"Miss Granger…"

Sing for me. Lull my twisted mind and give me a piece of your innocence. Take me away from the pain of my pointless life with the sound of those exquisite tones. Wrap those words around me, take aware my fears, my scars, my loneliness…

"… finish the caldrons that you started yesterday. When you finish those, and I have inspected them, I will give you something else."

Severus, you coward.

**Ok, trying to show conflicting emotions. Might have gone slightly OTT, but hey, that's ok. Will be back to normal tomorrow, when I have slept. Tell me what you think of this slightly darker style, I like it and might write a few more like it, depends what you guys think. Please tell me!**


	12. Cold Mask of Indifference

In the Darkness

**Ok, i'm not too sure about this chapter. I like it, but I don't know if it's right. It has taken a BIG leap of faith in myself and you guys for me to do this. It might be a bit dodgy, I ain't too sure. So I N E E D you to tell me what you think of it. Please, tell me if it isn't called for AT ALL. Cheers!**

Chapter 12

Hermione's walk with Harry and Ron came to an end, and they walked her to the dungeons. Stopping outside the door, she turned to face them.

"Well guys, I'd better be going in."

"You want us to wait up for you?" Ron asked.

"Nah Ron, you never know what time she'll be coming back. You don't know what could happen…" Harry said, looking at Hermione and grinning. Luckily, Ron didn't pick up on the hints dropped.

"Yeah, he'll have you scrubbing the floor and the underside of the desks. Have you ever done that? Its gross, people wipe everything under them desks, snot, boggies…"

"Thanks Ron," Hermione said, butting in. "I'll remember to try to get out of that one. Well, thanks for walking with me. See you in the morning." The boys left her, and she took a deep breath before knocking on the door. She had been waiting all day for this detention, hoping to catch a glimpse of the man she met before. She heard him call her in. She entered, slipping quietly through the doorway, closing it behind her. She turned to look in his direction. He was just straightening after being bent over the cauldron, the beginnings of sweat forming on his forehead. His face held a blank expression that Hermione couldn't read. She desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. He took a deep breath, taking a step forward as she advanced further into the room.

"Miss Granger." He said.

"Professor." She replied. He turned back to the cauldron, and she began to follow. He turned back to her sharply.

"Did I ask you to follow me?" He asked her suddenly. Hermione was slightly taken aback by this.

"No Sir, I thought that…"

"Yes, well, you thought wrong…" He said, not even letting her finish her sentence. "… This is a highly dangerous potion, the slightest mistake can have devastating effects I will not have you messing it up, now please, stay away." Hermione walked back to where she was, feeling her annoyance growing inside her after being spoken to like an idiot. She turned back to face him.

"What do you want me to do?" She said in an annoyed tone. He didn't seem to pick up on her tone.

"Nothing. I want you to wait there." He turned from her and began with the potion again. He breathed heavily, obviously trying to concentrate. "Go stand by my desk." Hermione stood by the desk, looking around the room as he began to murmur a spell over the cauldron. She looked back to see what he was doing.

His hands sprinkling a fine dust into the potion, his closed eyes giving him no guidance as to where it was. It looked like instinct, like he knew exactly where everything was that he needed. His hands seemed to move in one fluid motion, no pauses, no hesitation, never doubting himself or his ability. It was almost like a dance, his lips providing silent music to which the hands moved in a hypnotic rhythm, sinuously flowing from one motion to the next. She could feel the entrancing atmosphere created by this almost exotic dance pull her deep into the very midst of it, unable to pull herself from it even if she wanted to. It was captivatingly sensual, the confidence and precision of his actions, knowing exactly what to do to get the desired result, understanding himself and his work so thoroughly, his hands gliding perfectly into places and positions that almost made her shiver…

How long she was caught by this spell she didn't know. She watched him turn around to face her, watched his face crease in an attempt to understand her expression. She felt the atmosphere shatter as he spoke to her suddenly, breaking the spell and sending her crashing down through the snide comments to reality.

"May I ask, Miss Granger, what it is that you find so amazing about me that calls for the need for you to stare?" He said nastily. She shook her head and tried to clear her mind.

"I'm sorry, I, huh…" She smiled awkwardly. "I, erm, I've never seen you so, er…" She didn't know what to say. He finished her sentence for her.

"Please Miss Granger, you are wasting my time. Either say what you want to say or cease mumbling." She looked back at him, trying to find the words that described him, her mind failing her. He looked back, almost daring her to say something, almost wanting her to.

"I've never seen anyone work with a potion with as much skill and precision as you just did. It as inspiring. Sir." The words didn't do him justice. She couldn't describe it.

He pulled away from her as if she had said something deadly offensive, blinking before walking around the desk. She watched him as he did. He stopped and turned his head so that he could see her. She was still watching him, trying to read his thoughts, staring into his eyes, looking for even a glimmer of the man that she saw last night. But all she saw was a void space, nothing but something intense staring back at her. She tried desperately not to look away, desperately seeking some proof that he as human, that what she had seen was not an illusion… But he simply threw daggers at her with his eyes, breaking her down so that she couldn't even look at them. As she looked away he blinked, then carried on walking around the desk. He stopped suddenly. He was looking at her, she could feel it. She could feel the intense heat of his eyes burning through her. It took all of her self control to stop herself from squirming. It seemed like an eternity that he was looking at her. His stare seemed to get more; she couldn't bear it for much longer…

"Miss Granger…" She looked up, once again daring to looking at him in his eyes.

"Yes Sir?" She answered. Blinking from the heat that he was throwing at her. She flittered from eye to eye, searching for something more…

Wait.

There.

A shimmer.

That same light that she had seen before. It was there, leading her down those caverns of eyes, lighting up the emotion. It was there, she blinked and looked again, making sure she wasn't seeing things.

"Miss Granger…" It was getting worse, more intense. It was there, there he was, the man with emotions and feelings, the feeling of despair, desire and something else…

"… Finish the cauldrons that you started yesterday. When you finish those, and I have inspected them, I will give you something else."

Then they were gone. Just like that. Like someone had thrown a cup of water over the fire in his eyes. There was nothing. She searched his face for any sign as he walked again, sitting at his chair, looking up at her again. It was cold. There was nothing there, but a cold, unforgiving, emotionless stare. She opened her mouth slightly, and then closed it, nodding her head. Her feet seemed to move themselves to the cauldrons. Her hands controlled the speed of which she scrubbed them with. She looked back at him again. There was nothing.

It was driving her crazy. She had seen it, she knew it. He wasn't cold. He wasn't emotionless, and only she seemed to know it. He wouldn't let her see him as a person. He was so close to giving her those thoughts, but he stopped himself. Why? What did he think that she would do? He was so unhappy, so desperate to cover up his solitude, why wouldn't he show it? Did he think that she hadn't realised? He suffered the same pain as she did, she could see it in his eyes, he truly had no-one. She couldn't bear to see someone like that. It wasn't a life. Why wouldn't he let her in? Why did he feel he had to shut her out? Sure, she wasn't the favoured pupil, but it was different now, she had seen something that no-one else had. That had to mean something, it wasn't coincidence…

She slammed her cloth down in frustration, her own thoughts controlling her actions as she leant on the table, her mind tearing her apart.

"Is there something wrong, Miss Granger?" He said in his deathly dangerous voice."

"No Sir." She responded automatically.

"Then why have you stopped?" She couldn't bear it anymore. Her voice in her head told her not too, to carry on scrubbing and apologise… the human part of her couldn't let it lie.

"There is something wrong." She said suddenly.

"Which is?" She took a deep breath. She hadn't though this through. What was she going to say? "I can see emotion in your eyes, tell me what's wrong?" She laughed a fake laugh at herself.

"Sir, I…"

"Is there something desperately wrong?" She didn't answer. What could she say? "Well then, get back on with cleaning and stop wasting my time." That was it. She rose quickly and turned to face his direction. He looked back up at her and put his quill down, seemingly sensing that there was going to be something… different said.

"I've had it with your façade." He just looked at her.

"Excuse me?"

"Your façade. Your mask."

"Miss Granger…"

"You wear that cold hearted mask of indifference every day. You feel nothing. In your eyes there is no place for emotion; it is a weakness. A weakness with a price that you cannot pay. There is only you in your life, and you believe that you like it that way. But you don't. You've worn that mask for so long that you believe it is the real you. But is isn't. You feel, just like everyone else. I've seen it. You see those people with love and happiness and you envy them, secretly wishing to be them. You want someone to take you away from your solitude. Deep down you have an intense passion that you have grown to hate, tried desperately to cover up. But you can't. And it shows. I can see it, I swear I can. I don't know why, put I can see your unhappiness."

Silence.

He didn't move. His mouth opened slightly. She was waiting for a reaction, waiting for something, anything… but there was nothing. Just that unreadable face, the only thing that told her he was not expecting that speech was his opened mouth.

It was as if her senses had returned to her. She realised what she had just said. Not only to her Potion's Master but what she had actually said. She had confirmed for him the thoughts that he didn't want to be true. That would have hurt him so badly. She had no idea how he would react. Anything would be acceptable; there was no need for her to say that. No-one deserves that.

"Sir, I am so sorry…"

Still nothing.

"Sir please, I am sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that, I mean, I didn't mean to say it at all…"

Still nothing.

"… I just wanted to help you… please…"

Silence.

"… Say something? Anything? Please? Say something!"

His face gave nothing away. She had no idea what to expect. His breaths were short and shallow; he never broke eye contact with her. It wasn't a stare, but not a gaze. He was just looking at her. He opened his mouth wider slightly, the anticipation of a reaction almost killing Hermione, and then, he spoke…

**I told ya, BIG leap of faith. Ok, please tell me what you think. I KNOW I AM NASTY for leaving you on a cliffie. **

**I am also VERY unsure as to how Snape's reactions should be. Suggestions are more than welcome. In fact, I will hail my inbox if you send me ideas! Just leave them in a review, tell me what you think of this chapter then how Snape should react. CHEERS ME DEARS! (What is it with me and Caps Lock today?)**

**Replies!**

**queenanneus- I don't think it was ENTERTAINING, but it certainly was something. Not too sure though... slightly more exciting this time? I know Snapes very wasn't, hope this is slightly better. I don't know when they will get together. It kinda writes itself. I didn't really want it to turn out like this but it has, and no matter how much I try to change it, it doesn't seem right. Strange.**

**RainynDawn- I LOVE GERARD BUTLER! WHAT WAS CHRISTINE THINKING WHEN SHE LEFT ERIK FOR RAOUL... ahem Story jumping. I find it hard to contain myself when I speak of Gerard B... better shut up before I get going... As for Harry teasing, I prefere to think of it as "Harmless banter." LoL! Nce long review! Thank you! (oh yeah, OTT Over the top)**

**wiccan-witch88- The action will be good when they get together, I feel a build up of a lustful tale to be told... yummy! You will shamefully enjoy it!**

**Yummi Sushi- Thank you! Glad you like the darker style! Hope you like this too!**

**Varcolaci- It was so dodgy typing your name Varcolaci. What is that? The name, I mean. Anyhoo, I would apperciate it if you didn't man handle the characters. I now have to deal with a traumatised Snape as a result of your foot going to close to his arse.**

**stargazer starluver- It was suppose to be a totally Snape POV fic, I think, however, it just takes me where it wants to go. I don't really have a say in the matter. More Snape though, I swear!**

**89- Reaches for a tissue Captivating? THANK YOU! Hugs**

**LupinLovesTonks- Scatterbrained, thats me, I coudln't remember what day my own story was set on. I had to re-read it all to find out! Thank you xx**

**Lene- Oh how I love your reviews! "Loverboy" I think it's funny, it's something that a teenage lad says though to wind you up. And it's so patheic and immature that it works. Thank you, go to bed and read this when your feeling refreshed so you can tell me about my mistakes and what you think of it? It took a BIG leap of faith in myself and you guys to write this chapter. Ok, this is going to sound REALLY stupid, but I am blond, but if you speak Dutch, where do you live? What place speaks Dutch? SAY SOMETHING IN DUTCH TO ME! lol, I am so immature! I am learning Japanese so that I can understand the ways of Iaido more!**

**Princess Kalye- As long as it takes to finish my chapter.**

**ssslytherin- Not even going to mention the hottest guy in the world's name because just saying it turns me on... probalby too much info, but hey, that's what the man who played the Phantom does to ya! Keanu reeves? Gay? No, I don't think so..lol**


	13. Back to the Tower

In the Darkness

**Oh my god, I inadvertently wrote the end of this story in this chapter! I now have the main part of the ending! He he, I never do that! Wow! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, and i'm sorry that this is such a small chapter.**

Chapter 13

Severus, you coward.

Severus glanced away from his pupil's deep stare. He walked back to his desk. His mind tried to torture him with ideas and possibilities that could come true if he only let people in, but it was no use. He didn't entertain those thoughts for a moment, expelling them from his mind and emptying it of all emotion. He sat at his desk, looking up when he was seated. She was searching his eyes. Whatever she was looking for, she wouldn't find it. Not there.

She turned suddenly and walked back to the cauldrons, turning back to see if he was looking at her. She looked disappointed when he was, and continued to do as he had told. What was she trying to find when she stared so deeply into his eyes? He's seen that hunting look many times, as his "Master" Voldemort questioned him on his loyalty to him, and his knowledge of Dumbledore's plans. He had learnt from a young age how to mask his emotions, and as a result, never gave away anything that he didn't want to be seen. So why did he find it so difficult to hide his loneliness from her? He looked up at her as she scrubbed furiously. He dismissed all thoughts of weakness and these petty questions and began looking over his papers that still needed marking. Until Hermione slammed the cloth down, resting her hands on the table. He looked up.

"Is there something wrong, Miss Granger?" He said in his deathly dangerous voice.

"No Sir." She replied.

"Then why have you stopped?" She didn't say anything. He looked back down.

"There is something wrong." She said suddenly. He looked up slowly at her again.

"Which is?" He waited impatiently for her to answer. She took a deep breath. He was expecting her to complain that her arms hurt, or that she wanted to do something else.

"Sir, I…" She began to stutter.

"Is there something desperately wrong?" She didn't answer. "Well then, get back on with cleaning and stop wasting my time." As he began to look back down she turned to face him. There was something different about her. She was obviously planning out what she was going to say. He put his quill down and looked at her intensely, waiting for her to speak. She was going to say something important. Perhaps she would sing? His heart rate quickened as he imagined this…

"I've had it with your façade." He just looked at her. That was not what he had expected. What on earth…

"Excuse me?"

"Your façade. Your mask." Still confused.

"Miss Granger…"

"You wear that cold hearted mask of indifference every day. You feel nothing. In your eyes there is no place for emotion; it is a weakness. A weakness with a price that you cannot pay. There is only you in your life, and you believe that you like it that way. But you don't. You've worn that mask for so long that you believe it is the real you. But it isn't. You feel, just like everyone else. I've seen it. You see those people with love and happiness and you envy them, secretly wishing to be them. You want someone to take you away from your solitude. Deep down you have an intense passion that you have grown to hate, tried desperately to cover up. But you can't. And it shows. I can see it, I swear I can. I don't know why, put I can see your unhappiness"  
Mouth gaping silently, he listened in rapt silence as the nearly 18 year old girl told him exactly what he had hiding from, confirming his worst fears by speaking them aloud. You are alone, you old fool, you always have been, and you always will be. No-one cares for you, no-one loves you, and they never will. Your mistakes and wrong doings in the past have been punished and this is it, this morbid passing of time that you call a life, with no emotion or feeling for anyone or anything.

She was speaking to him again. What torrent of abuse what come out of her perfect mouth this time, shattering his own little ideals of himself?  
"Sir, I am so sorry…"

What could he say? There was nothing to say to her. She was completely right. Everything was right. She had read him. How she had, he would never know, but she knew.

"Sir please, I am sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that, I mean, I didn't mean to say it at all"  
She was right. Absolutely and completely. And he hated her for it.

"… I just wanted to help you… please…"

Silence.

"… Say something? Anything? Please? Say something"  
His face gave nothing away. His breaths were short and shallow; he never broke eye contact with her. It wasn't a stare, but not a gaze. He was just looking at her. He opened his mouth wider slightly, he spoke, slowly and controlled.

"I want you to leave. Now. You do not have to serve anymore detentions with me…"

"Please Sir…"

"If anyone asks why you don't have to serve detention, you will say that I am too busy..."

"No, Sir, I can't…"

"You are in no position to say or do anything other than what I have just said. I have made myself clear. Now leave."

"I'm so sorry, please, I'm sorry…" She was crying now, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I will not ask you again… get out…"

"Please…"

"GET OUT!" He bellowed, his angered shout filling the room, echoes bouncing off the walls, the sound of his fist slamming the oak table vibrating through the wood and his arm. She was soon out of the room, leaving him with his own thoughts. But there were none. All of his thoughts were swirling around in the air, exhaled from the sweet throat of Hermione Granger. She knew him. She knew his weakness. She had seen his mask of coldness, seen through it to the pain underneath. No-one had ever done that before. Perhaps it was because no-one cared to look. Perhaps it was there; clear as day, but no-one could bear to look into his eyes long enough to see it. But she did. Those doe brown eyes ravaging his soul, exposing the lie that he had been living for him so that he could hid. And he hated her because of it. This pain was much too real now.

He smelt her sweet fragrance as she swept past him, she didn't look at him, and he didn't look at her. The door was left open as she rushed out of the room, trying to put as much distance between the dungeons and herself as quickly as possible. Severus didn't care that it was open. He simply sat at his desk, still looking forward at where she had been stood, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened. His angel. His perfect little angel had broken his pretenses. How could she? He had lived in his bubble wrapped world void of emotion for so long, never heartbroken, never sad when someone died. He didn't need it, he didn't need that flaw. Yet when he saw her eyes in that terrible search for his soul it took all of his being to deign her it. She was the only one who had ever asked for it, wanted to find it. There was no logic, it had all happened so quickly and so unexpectantly. Why could he not let her have it? Why had he hidden it? It was, after all, the same woman who had calmed his senses and relaxed his soul, the very same woman who had been only moments away from begging her to release him, to take away his pain….

And now she had.

How could he hate her?

She had done exactly what he had begged her to do, release him from his shrouded world of lies. How could he hate her? She had begged to help him, and once again he had dismissed her. How could he? How could he treat her so viciously?

He looked briefly at the time; it was only 11:30. The time had passed seemingly quickly, he had spent nearly and hour pouring over his thoughts. He stood finally, returning to his quarters, his mind the worst punishment for his foolishness. As he took the glass from the cupboard and opened his bottle of firewhiskey, he suddenly stopped. All of a sudden his body was putting them back in their right places, his arms grabbing is heavy cloak, his feet moving forward at a brisk pace out of his quarters, out of the dungeons. Eventually he found himself at the foot of the staircase leading to the Gryffindor common room. He stopped and looked at the time, 11:55. He suddenly realized what his mind was telling him to do, the only thing stopping him was his logic and pride. They were soon out weighed, and he suddenly found himself walking up the stairs leading to the common room. He stopped. That wasn't where she would be.

He turned and began down the stairs and towards the Astronomy Tower.

**Ok, sorry, I know that that chappie was slightly... off? But I felt like I was just repeating myself, so I kinda just hurried it along slightly! REPLIES!**

**Blackthornroses- That will kinda come in the next chapters... hehehe**

**ssslytherin- My hottest guy, well, there are many, i tend to go for the older type... but... hum... let me see, my hottest guy has to be Gerard Butler and Joaquin Phoenix. But there are LOADS of others. I'll tell you who I don't like, all those young wannabees, Justin TrouserSnake, Orlando Bloom... yak!**

**RainynDawn- I find it so hard to make my chapters longer, they tend to be around the 2000 word mark. This one was only 1600 I think, but I felt that it was better shorter instead of repeating myself. I have taken heed of your suggestions, andI will try my hardest to make them longer. When I started writing FanFica I think I was 12, and a typical chapter would be about 800 words long! Lol! ThanIf I could incoperate Gerry in there I would, but I can't seem to, however, I will try to let him make a cammy apperience, just for you.**

**AmyLauren- Please don't cry! (hands over a tissue) Here! I have more chapters for you! -smile!-**

**MyEmeraldEyes- Ok, I am thinking that people just like damning me now, i'm definitly off to hell! (can you tell I wrote these reviews without a spell checker?) I haven't JUST stopped!There is more...**

**SilverandSilent- Don't hate me! So many different things are going to happen!**

**Varcolaci- --sighs-- I need Snape for this story. You can have him after. I'm sorry, but you'll just have to wait a little longer. I;ve nearly finished with him. Then you can have him all to yourself... but only for an hour there are other people --such as myself-- in the queue!**

**Song Angel- Aw, thank you! Hope you like Snapes reaction!**

**stargazer starluver- Well, I did say that, it wasa big leap of faith, but I think it worked well! Hope you enjoy this one!**

**89- What exactly do I suck? LOL! Please be happy!**

**Dreamer15- Ok, what is with people damning me to hell, calling me names and telling me that I suck? I think that they are trying to tell me something... --gives dreamer15 candy and a new chapter-- Happy?**

**LupinLovesTonks-Thank you, i am so glad that you liked it. I think so too, thats why I tend to write both POVs!**

**Lene- LOVE THE REVIEW! nice and long! I have no idea what it means, some of the words look familiar, is it a smiliar language to German? I have German reletives (my nana and my father are both German) so I can speak the language.. kinda... not really... However, I think that I was a product from Hitler's regeime, you know the whole Aryan Master Race? He wanted everyone in German to have blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin? THATS ME! My mom always says that if I was in the Second World War I would have survived, my mom and sister wouldn't because they have dark hair and eyes, my sister has olive skin, and my dad has olive skin too with the dark eyes and hair. I WOULD HAVE LIVED AND GONE ON TO MAKE A LOAD OF BABIES! I find the World Wars fasinating, as you can tell! Ok, i don't think that you needed or wanted to know any of that... but hey ho! Tell me what that little phrase means!**

**MissAmanda- ANOTHER PERSON DAMNING ME TO HELL! There's no hope for me now! LOL! Thank you!**

**JameseMalfoy- Aw! Thank you!**

**starlightdreamer052000- I kinda got my ideas from you, thank you! Hope you enjoy!**


	14. No Solace

In the Darkness

**Ok, this is a shorter chappie, but there is one following right after it. All replies are on that one. Please read and review and enjoy!**

Chapter 14

Hermione fled from the dark dungeons, walking at a quick pace away from them, not looking back. Her body led her instinctively to the common room; there Harry would be waiting to console her… No, he had gone to bed, he won't be there. She looked around the dark corridors helplessly, undecided on where she could go. She let out a small cry of distress and the terribleness of it all. How could she say those things to him? How could she be so cruel? How could she say those things she had hurt him so much? There was no emotion, as ever, on his face. Not anger, not disappointment… nothing. Shock. That was about it. How could she have caused that?

Her conscience played with her reasoning, the things that she hated herself for rose and sunk steadily as she thought of the look on her teacher's face. She was tempted to go to the dungeons, but she thought better of it, Snape was extremely… angry, when she had left him.

She needed to clear her head, think things through. Her mind was torturing her, filling her with guilt and sorrow. She missed her father dearly now, in these times she would write him a letter and get a reply by the next morning, soft words of comfort that soothed her just by reading them and hearing his voice in her mind. She stopped and checked the time. 11:25. There was no doubt in her mind where she had to go. She needed to think things over…

She turned and began her way to the Astronomy Tower, her small steps the only sound on the otherwise silent corridor. The candles cast small amounts of light on the walls, chinks in the uneven floor and walls appearing bigger than they were. She travelled up the winding stairs, her hands sliding along the wall as they steadied her until she got to the top, opening the door and creeping inside as it creaked and groaned loudly and closed it to.

She turned to the window and looked at it from the door. The cloudy sky hid the moon from her view, unable to light up the room. She walked carefully over to it, drawing in the cool night air into her lungs and exhaling it loudly, smelling the crisp freshness as she aloud it to clear her mind from its torment. She opened her eyes which had automatically shut, and gazed over the silent land before her, the dark shadows of black, grey and dark blue, the silhouettes of the majestic trees of the Forbidden Forest standing still and tall as they hid the dark secrets of the creatures inside. She let the stillness of nature swallow her, enveloping her, letting her mind assume a similar arrangement…

Until a creaking complained loudly behind her.

Her eyes flew open as she spun around to see a dark figure stood in the doorway. She couldn't see who it was, it was too dark...

But her mind told her who it was. It could only be one person.

Her whole body tensed every muscle. What could she say? What could she do? What was he doing here? What did he want…? Her mind gave her a thousand unanswered questions, all making her more nervous in front of the man whom she had just deeply upset.

He was just looking at her, or at least she assumed he was looking at her. He wouldn't be looking out of the window or anything…

"I didn't mean to startle you." He said, his tone carrying through the darkness.

"W, what are you doing he…"

"I think, Miss Granger, the question is what are YOU doing here?" He said, his voice so smooth in the darkness it just flowed right over her. She didn't have a reply to him. He took a few steps into the room as he closed the door behind him, never looking away from her. Her heart rate rose. Why had he closed the door? What was he doing? Why was he walking closer? "I asked a question, the least you can do is give me a reply." Still, she could think of nothing. He took another few steps forward as she took some back. He stopped as if he had noticed this.

"W, what do you w, want?" She asked.

"Oh please, Miss Granger, I'm not here to hurt you. You would have known in my classroom if I had wanted to hurt you." He took a deep breath after this and exhaled, loud and controlled. "As for what I want, well, I am not entirely sure, I haven't exactly thought this through."

Hermione's breath hitched in her throat. What did he mean? He had been a deatheater after all, what exactly did he mean?

"Why are you here?" He asked again. Her mind raced for an answer, anything to keep him away.

"I, I wanted to think."

"What about?"

"Everything."

"What else did you want to do?" She paused.

"I don't… fully understand what you mean."

"Why did you come here? For what reason?"

"To think…"

"No, Miss Granger, you did not. Tell me, what was the reason that you came here?"

"I… I don't know…" She didn't want him to get angry, but she didn't know what he wanted to hear.

"You don't know? Well let me help you. You came here to sing. To help you control your emotions and thoughts. Well now you are here. So sing."

Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing. Was this a set up? Was he going to laugh at her if she sang? Was there a tape recorder, ok, not a tape recorder, some magical device that recorded her sing so that he could show everyone later? Why did he want her to sing? To ridicule her, to make her feel as bad as he had when she had said those awful things to him?

"Miss Granger. Sing." He said sternly, frustration showing in his voice. She felt her eyes create unwanted tears that she refused to let fall.

"I… I can't."

"Yes you can. Sing."

"No, I can't…" He took more steps until there were only a few feet between them.

"Sing."

"No." She said almost silently on her breath. He closed the gap between them so that she was looking at his chest as he looked down at her.

"Sing." He said softly. "Please."

She looked up at him, only just able to make out the features on his face, but not the expression. Her brow had creased slightly into a worried confused look, her breathing trying to control the tears that were threatening to spill. She looked up at him, trying to understand what he meant.

Why had he just said please?

She searched the darkness for his eyes, the little bit of light catching the wetness of the dark pools and reflecting slightly from them. There was something different, she couldn't tell what, almost a… desperation… about his demeanour.

"Sing for me." He said in an almost whisper, his voice causing her eyes to sting even more. But it was her own reply that sent the tears crashing down her face.

"I can't."

He looked at her, with desperation and almost panic. She looked away, unable to bear his gaze. It wasn't intense with the passion and intent of wanting to intimidate, but from disappointment and the wanting to understand.

He took a step back, the closeness of his chest to hers lost suddenly as he turned and walked silently out of the room, leaving the door open as he did. She looked up as he left, wanting so badly to go after him, to explain to him why she couldn't…

Why couldn't she?

That was a question that had never been answered. Her father had constantly asked her, for he too had wanted to hear her sing. And yet she had deigned him too. Why? For what reason? Because she was afraid of what he would say? Why? There was no reason as to why she couldn't sing for him. He had wanted so badly to hear her sing; he never asked anything from her but that. He had given her so much and all he had asked for in return was that. The simply pleasure of her voice.

She let the tears fall for a few moments longer before she shivered. There was no solace here anymore. She could no longer hide from herself here. She turned, and once again made her way to the Gryffindor house.

**Ok, please, don't kill me just yet, just read on... READ ON GODDAMN IT! --avoids the food that is being thrown--**


	15. More

In the Darkness

**Ok, sorry, I have no replies after all on this page, I will reply to EVERYONE later, it is now 01:31 and I am very tired. I have worked my ass off trying to get these two finished for you guys tonight, because I won't be able to update for a few days... enjoy! THANK YOU TO ALL REVIEWS! LOVE YA! oh yeah, hits are up to 8228 for this story! YAY!**

Chapter 15

Hermione lay in her bed at 12:30, eyes wide open, looking through the darkness that they had long since adjusted to. She heard Lavender snoring quietly from her bed, which helped keep Hermione awake. She turned to her side and tried to set her tormented mind to rest, thinking about her father and the last time she saw him. She tried to shut her memories away but they just seemed to break through the walls that she put up. She closed her eyes and saw his face, she opened them and saw his figure in the shadows, sitting up quickly to look harder at the shadows that hid nothing but the walls behind them, believing that he was there, telling herself that he wasn't. She looked longingly at them, wanting the silhouette that she saw to melt out of the shadows and walk towards her and call to her as he used to. She let out a long deep breath, and looked at the night gown that he had bought for her, the suitcase that was his from being a small boy…

She had to get out of that place; she had to run, although she had no idea where she was running to or what from. She couldn't go to the tower now. She swung her legs off the bed and didn't care to be quiet as she left the room, causing Lavender to stir. She ran down the stairs and out of the Gryfindor common room, down the grand staircase, her bare feet slapping on the cold floor. She ran, not thinking where yet she knew without hardly and upward glance. Every where seemed to be a memory of her father, every painting, every statue resembled his face, every sound could have been the deep dulcet tones of his voice, the wind through hair and on her face could have been his gently caress when he wiped away her tears, she couldn't escape it. There was only one person who could help her escape this torment.

She ran down the stairs, along the corridor, she was nearly there, down that familiar dreaded path. She turned a corner sharply seeing the door, staggering to keep her balance and as she set off to walk again she fell over the uneven flag, her head hitting the floor as she did. She lay on the stone floor, the patterns on it resembling his eyes, the blood from the gash on her head mingling with the tears falling from her eyes. She closed her eyes only to see him walking away from her, she opened them to dense realisation that he wasn't here and never would be again. The tears stung her eyes, the warm wet turning cold as it rolled down her face, she didn't care to wipe them away. She slowly got to her feet, holding out her hand, wishing for someone to be there to grasp it and pull her up, but there was no-one. She stood, crying, her sobs bouncing from wall to wall.

"Miss Granger?"

She looked up to see Snape stood in the doorway, his wand slowly lowering to his side. She just stood there, sobbing.

"Are you alright Miss Granger?" His cold voice offering no comfort. He came closer to her, closing the door behind him. She cover her face with her hands. "Miss Granger?" Her sobs from under her hands answered his question. "What is the matter? Miss Granger?" She turned from him, her hands still at her face. "Are you hurt…?"

"My name is Hermione!" She shouted suddenly, taking him aback. "My name is Hermione…" She repeated in a mumble through tears.

"Hermione." He said, obviously realising that there was something very wrong. He had never seen any of his students like this. He took a few steps towards her, so he was about four feet away from her.

"I'm so, so sorry…" She sobbed. He straightened his face like stone, emotionless. "I tried... I did, I tried… I wanted to… but I couldn't… he kept on asking me… but I never… and now…. Now… he's gone…" If she was looking at him she would have seen his face soften as he understood what was wrong. He walked slowly closer to her, listening to her plea, watching her hands shake violently against her face as she struggled for breathe between those racking sobs. "… He never heard me, all he wanted… was to listen… and I… I… I never let him… He's gone… and he will never…. Oh Christ he's gone… gone and he's never coming… I never knew… I wanted to but I… I don't know… I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…." Her voice was muffled as she was pulled close to a firm chest, strong arms holding her tightly as she poured her confession incoherently into his chest.

She didn't know how long she was there. She wasn't fully aware of her surroundings. At some point she had been led into the classroom. She had drunk a vile tasting dark green potion from a small vial. She had been seated on a settee and left alone. She found herself suitably calm, her tears had stopped and her breathing was trying to return to normal. She looked around her new surroundings. Apparently she was in Snape's private chambers. Noticing the colour theme was green and silver with almost all antique wooden furnishings. She wasn't looking around for long before Snape entered the room again. Standing above her, her shaking slightly through her thin nightdress she now felt slightly foolish, however, relieved… but somewhat uncomfortable, not knowing what his reaction was going to be like. Nasty? Spiteful? Cruel?

"Have you calmed yourself?" She nodded.

"Though the calming draught that you gave me helped…" She smiled a faint smile, not looking up enough to notice the same dancing on his features. There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Professor, I'm sor…"

"Miss… Hermione. Don't be sorry. I am not angry or offended. You needed that to deal with your father's death."

"No, I didn't mean that… well I did, but I really meant… for what happened in the tower…" She saw him straighten. He still hadn't learnt to let his emotions be shown. She mentally kicked herself. He had asked her to sing up there. He had let his guard down and she had shunned him. For the first time ever he was willing to let some know him… and she kicked it back in his face. There was no-way that he would ever do that now.

"No apology required, Miss Granger." Ah. Back to teacher mode.

"No, please listen Professor… I'm sorry that I couldn't before. It wasn't personal… I… I just never have been able to."

"Very well."

"No, no please. Show some emotion! Show that you feel about it. Like you did up there." He paused.

"I can't." He said, mimicking her tone from the tower. He turned away from her. If she was not in such an understanding mood, the words fucking, childish, bastard, would have sprung to mind. She would not let this lie. Not now.

"I've sung ever since I was little. I used to go to a choir. I was the best. You could hear my voice, crystal clear, over everybody else's. The other children, I was only 8 or 9, were nowhere near as good as me. My mum and dad would sit and listen, of course they could hear my voice over everyone else's, it was the only way they could hear it because I would never sing for them. Then, I got too old to go to choir and left. I still practised. In my room. When the house was empty. My parents pestered me all the time to sing. We would listen to classical music, and they would say "You can sing like that, can't you Herm? Sing for us." I'd just blush and ignore it, or just say no. They did it all the time, anything to hear me sing. They even offered me £50 to sing at a friends wedding. I had no money at the time, and yet I still wasn't tempted. My mum just didn't ask me from them, just realised that she would probably never hear me. My dad though. Well, he wouldn't give up. He asked me all the time. He would do anything to hear me. I caught him on more than one occasion, listening to the bottom of my bedroom door as I sung along to the songs on the radio. Of course, I would stop straight away. He always asked me. And I always said no." She finished, staring into nothingness as she thought deeply. She looked up. "I've never told anyone that story." She smiled faintly.

Snape was looking at her again now, in almost rapture. His brow creased slightly, but not into a frown. She looked at him, smiled, and then looked away.

"I thought that you were an angel when I first heard you." He said.

She looked up. The passion was in his eyes again, and he was letting her have it… her breath hitched in her throat.

"Your voice did something to me. I have never felt so calm before. It was almost like an addiction. Then I found you. I didn't think that I could see you in that angelic way again, but the next time I heard you sing, I did…" She stood and walked to him, his head down, standing close to him. "I needed to hear you again. Then you looked at me and didn't turn away in fear. You were looking for something…" He stopped and looked at her.

Hermione was overwhelmed by what she was hearing. It was the personal life of Severus Snape. His thoughts. His feelings. He was desperate and helpless just like her… and she liked it… she was happy… suddenly, the thought of that night when he had touched her jumped to her mind, the way she had felt, she was feeling now. She was stood close, she could feel the electricity jumping from his to her skin, and visa versa. She wanted to touch him, reach out and comfort him, those dark eyes creased with almost worry, he was so vulnerable… He had done some terrible things in his life, she could see that, but he was sorry, he was a new man.

"Don't stop…" She whispered. It was his turn to feel his breath stop slightly as she leaned closer to him, the height difference obvious now that they were so close.

"… You, you were the first person to look for me. I didn't let you, but you still did. I knew that I needed you, to hear you again, but now…"

"… Now what?" She whispered their lips so close they were almost touching. "Tell me what you feel…"

"…I feel that I need… more…"

**Aren't I nasty? Hehehehe!**


	16. Serious Concerns for Ones Health

In the Darkness

**Ok, it is getting worrying. I would like to raise serious concerns for my life. I have been killed, brought back to life, threatened, gaged with a hairbrush, hit repeatedly with a meat cleaver... almost every person has called me nasty... a bisnitch, a rotten bitch...I am feeling somewhat disheartened! LOL! Man, stick a good cliffie in a story and BOOM! your head has a price! No more death threat please, or else I will be forced to hire a private detective and a body guard!**

Chapter 16

Severus turned the corner and began to walk silently up the stairs leading to the tower where he knew Hermione would be. His mind was numb, his voice of reasoning silent as a forbidden longing controlled his body, a feeling never before felt surged through him. He wasn't sure what it was, it wasn't lust or an anger, or a demand. It was indescribable, just this… need, this longing that told him that there was no need for him to think this through, no need for reasoning…

The door was slightly opened as he reached the top. His years spent in death eater service had made his steps silent, so she had not heard him. He peered through the gap that the opened door provided, and watched her form against the window, watched her breathe in deeply, then exhale… he waited for her to sing… but she didn't. Why wasn't she singing?

Without thinking he pushed the door open, letting his presence be known. She spun around to face him, he knew that she wouldn't be able to see him properly, it was far to dark. He watched her intensely, looking for any changes in her. He noticed her body tense up and a faint smell of fear rose to his nostrils. She had every right to be afraid. Not many people could say the things that she had said to him and not feel his wraith. She was one of them, yet she didn't know that. She was so readable. He could almost see her mind working, thinking of all the things that he could do to her up here in this dark tower. At one time they would have tempted him, the dark giving him cover, her fear a potent aphrodisiac. This thought ran briefly through his mind and for a second he felt ashamed.

"I didn't mean to startle you." He said without thinking, his voice stretching to her.

"W, what are you doing he…" She begun, but he didn't want her to speak. He interrupted.

"I think, Miss Granger, the question is what are YOU doing here?" He said, his voice so smooth in the darkness. He watched her struggle for an answer. He stepped forward through the doorway, closing it behind him yet never looking away from her. He could feel her apprehension rise. He didn't want her to be afraid of him. He didn't want her to worry. Yet he didn't know any other way to present himself. He was automatically like this, and no matter how he tried it seemed that she was still almost afraid. "I asked a question, the least you can do is give me a reply." Nothing. He took another few steps forward as she took some back. He stopped, not wanting her to feel uncomfortable.

"W, what do you w, want?" She asked. He almost smiled at her innocence and blameless naivety. If he had wanted to harm her he would have done so by now. He was never one to mess around.

"Oh please, Miss Granger, I'm not here to hurt you. You would have known in my classroom if I had wanted to hurt you." He took a deep breath after this and exhaled, loud and controlled. "As for what I want, well, I am not entirely sure, I haven't exactly thought this through." His thoughts coming through his mouth, betraying his mind, reminding him that he had not thought this or the consequences through.

Hermione's breath hitched in her throat. He considered what he had just said. Maybe not the best thing to say considering her thoughts already. She had more than probably interpreted that wrongly.

"Why are you here?" He asked again, changing the subject back.

"I, I wanted to think." Anything that he wanted to hear.

"What about?"

"Everything."

"What else did you want to do?" She paused. He could almost hear her try to think of the right answer.

"I don't… fully understand what you mean."

"Why did you come here? For what reason?"

"To think…"

"No, Miss Granger, you did not. Tell me, what was the reason that you came here?"

"I… I don't know…" She was at a loss and he knew it.

"You don't know? Well let me help you. You came here to sing. To help you control your emotions and thoughts. Well now you are here. So sing." He stopped suddenly and replayed that last sentence in his head. He had just asked her to sing, well, told her to sing. For all that time he had worried about saying those words, and they suddenly just… came out without him even thinking about it. There. At last, he had said it. So why wasn't she singing?

"Miss Granger. Sing." He said sternly, frustration showing in his voice.

"I… I can't." No. No, that is not the right answer.

"Yes you can. Sing."

"No, I can't…" He took more steps until there were only a few feet between them.

"Sing." Please. Please, sing for me, I am asking you, I am giving myself to you, please…

"No." She said almost silently on her breath. He closed the gap between them so that she was looking at his chest as he looked down at her. He stared at her tiny form as his mind raced, thinking of how to put this across. He couldn't think, he was desperate.

"Sing." He said softly, before he could stop himself. "Please." Don't deign me. Don't turn me away, my angel, this is it, this is me, you wanted my soul so here it is, take it, anything just please…"Sing for me." He said in an almost whisper. He heard her breathe shakily as she begun to cry.

"I can't."

The words came crashing down on him, trapping him underneath him. He stared at her, his eyes begging, pleading, yet she wouldn't look at him. He had gone against everything that he had sworn himself he would never do, only for her to crush him with two simple words. He wanted to grab her and shake her, he wanted to fall to his knees and beg her, anything for that answer to change. But he knew deep down that it wouldn't. She would never. Not for him. His chest felt suddenly tight under her words as they constricted his lungs.

He couldn't breathe.

He stepped back and without thinking left the room. He walked quickly down the stairs, his mind empty and void of thoughts, just a feeling of loss that made him feel weak.

"You stupid fool," he told himself sternly. "How could you? How could you possibly believe that she would? You are weak. How could you ever think that anyone would except you, would be prepared to take you as you were… yes, admit it, you wanted her to know you, you wanted her to accept you, to look past the monster with no heart and see the man beneath it. You pathetic man, you can barely admit that to yourself. No-one will ever want to know you, you will always be alone. You are a sad, lonely, pathetic old man and you always will be…" The torment only got worse as he closed his eyes and listened to the voice that he knew was right, even though he didn't want it to be. Her two simple words which had crushed him echoed in his mind, a constant reminder that his voice was right. He was alone. He was a monster with a dark past that he would never escape from. He was a cold man with no heart, just this past that had twisted his heart. She was right.

It wasn't long before he was back to his dark home, he slid through the small gap in the opened door and stood against it as he closed it, thinking about how he could let himself become so weak. He stayed there, in the dark, struggling to breathe, trying to understand and desperately break whatever he felt or thought he held for Hermione Granger. He laughed out loud spitefully at himself. Hermione Granger. Her, of all people. Yet, as her name rang through his mind, the thoughts of stupidity and weakness that were associated with that name were now being replaced with a feeling of loss and regret.

**Sorry to have to leave it there, I promise that I will update within the next few days!Ok, replies! So many of them, 31 in total!**

**Remusgrl01- Thank you! I must admit it was a nasty cliffie, even for me!**

**JameseMalofy- A stinker? Well, sorry to disapoint about the lack of intimacy in this chapter, but we must see our SevvieKins pov!**

**Severus-Fan- NO! No death please! Well I suppose that it doesn't matter anyway, because I have been killed and damned by so many people in the reviews for chapter 14!**

**ssslytherin- Thank you so much! I am nasty!**

**Zandra Night- (spits out hairbrush and looks at it, wondering why a hairbrush was used as a gag) I LOVE POTO too, tis ace! Snape IS sexy... don't know what it is...**

**musicangl07- Thank you, my dear!**

**Ensnared- Sorry that I haven't updated sooner! Thank you though!**

**Yomiko Clone- Erm... I don't know really. How old is Sevviekins suppose to be really? I will have to consider it. SUGGESTIONS WELCOME! HOW OLD IS SNAPE SUPPOSE TO BE?**

**Melimea- (wonders why she saw a bright light at the end of a tunnel briefly) Don't pout at me! That doesn't work... ok, yes it does. Here's another story!**

**silenthandmaiden- I am amazed that I am alive, that damn meat cleaver hurt! You nasty! I will finish the story enventually...**

**starlightdreamer052000- Aw! Thank you!**

**LupinLovesTonks- (laughs at you on the floor) I find it very amusing when people fall over! Sorry that this chappie doesn't go very far, the next one will, I swear it!**

**RainynDawn- Thank you. I love you too. Here's an update, now stop being nasty! LOL!**

**blackthornroses- Ew! Smooching noises? Rank. I hate them noises. Sloppy and rank. Yak.**

**Uberscully- You're going to hate me even more now, right? The good bit will come VERY soon! I promise!**

**Sparrow's Lovely Lass- Yes, a cliffie! (dun dun dun dun duuuunnnnn!) Thank you!**

**AzalynAngel- Sam? Huh? I know, life aint fair, is it? But hey, hold on tight, the good stuff is soon!**

**89- Not quite what you had in mind was it? The chapter i mean... just you wait though...**

**Circe- Thank you!**

**Lene- I am sick of people hurting me now! Have a good holiday, where you off to? Or, where have you been, because you'll probably have come back by the time this is out!**

**WoodElfPrincess- I am nasty! Hope you enojy!**

**Taylor- Dirty rotten bitch! If I wasn't so used to hearing that I might have been inclined to be offened! But i'm not. Not many things do. Hope you like!**

**Sorceress Black- That doesn't sound nice. I am sorry for your loss, whatever it is/was/you know what I mean. Glad you like it! THANK YOU!**

**Deadly Storm- LOL! Like the little added line! "i'm the one who needs more!" Hope this is to your liking!**

**Over40Potterfan- Thing is, Alan Rickman isn't overally good looking. I mean, he isn't drop dead gorgeous like some older people. However, he has got a certain... something about him, and the voice... OH MY GOD THE VOICE... I don't know. I liked Snape from the books, the darkness of the character. I think that Rickman really brings that mysteriousness and darkness to life as Snape, add the voice, and you've got one hell of a sexy Snape! I like Luicius Malfoy though, so I can't really say... (starts dribbling) oohh bad boys... love em!**

**Aleatha515- Thank you!**

**Fairy of Fire and Fury- (hands a box of tissues) I made you cry? I am touched! Don't be sad! They will be happy, eventually! Why would I be offended? I am honestly touched. Thank you! That is like the biggest compliment in the world! Now, go and sleep, and read the rest!**

**Xmasgoose- I take it that you want me to update... yes? LOL, here you are hunny!**

**Like Totally Like- A bisnitch? Like it! Please don't kill me, I would normally be worried but I have had a load of death threats so far so it isn't a big deal really now!**

**krystal- Thank you so much! THat was such a nice review! Aw!**

**hevensdevil- Ok, calm down, take those blue tablets that the nice doctor gave you and slowly walk away from the computer... LOL! Thank you!**


	17. Surpassing Lust

In the Darkness

**OH MY GOD, hits for this story... 12507! Wow! I love you guys! Thank you to everyone who is following and reading this story. Esp those who review. THANK YOU!**

**I have had such a bad cold, I didn't go into work today it was that bad... it's been so umbearably hot as well... too warm! 30 degrees! Not good... too... hot...**

Chapter 17

Severus sat in his big comfy chair, a small tumbler of firewhiskey in his hand as his thoughts ravaged his mind a thousand times over. His conclusion was simple, he would always be alone. He told himself this over and over, telling himself that it was true. Yet, even after admitting this, there was no catharsis. The pang of sadness would still rise from the pit of his stomach every time he said it, refusing to go away.

He had no idea what time it was. Nor did he really care. He sipped the last of his firewhiskey, putting his head against the cool glass in hand, his arm leaning on the arm of the chair. He closed his eyes for a few moments and let the last taste of the seemingly hot liquid melt down his throat, coating it smoothly with a warming heat that spread briefly to his stomach. His tongue slowly licked a stray drop of the liquid from his thin bottom lip, savouring the last drop as it diluted onto his tongue. He leaned back into his large chair; both arms on each arm of the chair, his head rested back slightly, his eyes still closed…

His head snapped up as he heard a small bang outside his door, and a tiny yelp of pain. He stood quickly, instinctively taking his wand from his robes, and walked towards the door, listening carefully, trying to get an idea of who was behind it. It was a female, crying… what was a woman doing at this time of night in the corridors? Suspicion filled his mind, and he raised his wand as he slowly opened the door...

"Miss Granger?" The young woman in front of him looked up, her tears glistening in the candle light, a silvery trail leading from each eye, tell tale signs that she had been crying for a while. She had a small bump in her head. What the devil was wrong with her? He had had enough of her for one night; she was the last person that he had wanted to see.

"Miss Granger, are you alright?" His cold voice offering no comfort. He came closer to her, closing the door behind him. She covered her face with her hands. "Miss Granger?" Her sobs from under her hands answered his question. "What is the matter? Miss Granger?" She turned from him, her hands still at her face. "Are you hurt…?" A certain amount of concern was now growing for her, what if she had been attacked on her walk back to her rooms…

"My name is Hermione!" She shouted suddenly, taking him aback. "My name is Hermione…" She repeated in a mumble through tears.

"Hermione." He said. There was something wrong, he had never seen any of his students like this before, well, perhaps he had, but only when he had caused it. He couldn't just leave her like this. Something had happened. He took a few more steps closer to her. Her hands were still close to her face, covering up the bump on her head. He tried to look at it to assess the damage, but with no luck.

I'm so, so sorry…" She sobbed.

He straightened his face like stone, emotionless. So she had come to apologies? He simply couldn't accept that. His face showed nothing, offering no help or comfort. It would not be that easy.

"I tried... I did, I tried… I wanted to… but I couldn't… he kept on asking me… but I never… and now…. Now… he's gone…"

His face softened slightly as he realized exactly what she was talking about. He walked slowly closer to her, listening to her plea, watching her hands shake violently against her face as she struggled for breathe between those racking sobs. This wasn't about him. It was about her father. He watched as she sobbingly confessed to him the guilt that had plagued her since her father's death, helpless to do anything.

"… He never heard me, all he wanted… was to listen… and I… I… I never let him… He's gone… and he will never…. Oh Christ he's gone… gone and he's never coming… I never knew… I wanted to but I… I don't know… I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…."

He couldn't stand it any longer. He closed the gap between them, pulling her tightly to his chest, feeling her little face sob onto his robes, her tears wetting his clothes. He held her there, trying to protect her from that feeling of guilt and shame that he himself had so often felt. He felt her shudder as she tried desperately to regain control over her breathing, but to no avail. Her tiny, petite form pressed against his, not fighting him, not struggling to get away, just resting there, accepting his surprising strong grip and letting it cast away her fears and guilt.

Her breathing still hadn't calmed. She was on the verge of hysteria, near to hyperventilating. He had to calm her down. He loosened his hold on her and began to pull away, only to find her fighting slightly to pull him back to her, to keep him close...

He shook his head and concentrated on the task in hand. He let his hand drop slowly down to her wrist, where he continued to take a firm yet gentle hold of it, his long fingers wrapping around her tiny bones. Gently he began to pull away again, only this time pulling her with him. She followed him closely as he led her to his room, closing the door behind her, continuing through the classroom into his private chambers. There he left her to get a Calming Draught, popping the cork from the vial and giving it her to drink. When she had, and he had sat her down, he left her alone, waiting for it to take effect. He put his usual locks on the door, knowing that by the time that he returned to her, the potion would have taken effect.

As he entered the room again, he looked down upon her slightly trembling form. He had to say something.

"Have you calmed yourself?" She nodded.

"Though the calming draught that you gave me helped…" She smiled a faint smile. He almost did the same. There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Professor, I'm sor…"

"Miss… Hermione. Don't be sorry. I am not angry or offended. You needed that to deal with your father's death." He said, thoughtfully.

"No, I didn't mean that… well I did, but I really meant… for what happened in the tower…" Oh no. Not this time. He would not discuss that brief weakness again.

"No apology required, Miss Granger."

"No, please listen Professor… I'm sorry that I couldn't before. It wasn't personal… I… I just never have been able to."

"Very well." He said curtly, not wanting to take part in this conversation.

"No, no please. Show some emotion! Show that you feel about it. Like you did up there." He paused, considering his next line. She wanted him to… open up to her? Why? When she refused him last time?

"I can't." He said, mimicking her tone from the tower. He turned away from her. There was that silence again.

"I've sung ever since I was little." He turned around to look at her. Was she…? "I used to go to a choir. I was the best. You could hear my voice, crystal clear, over everybody else's. The other children, I was only 8 or 9, were nowhere near as good as me. My mum and dad would sit and listen, of course they could hear my voice over everyone else's, it was the only way they could hear it because I would never sing for them. Then, I got too old to go to choir and left. I still practiced. In my room. When the house was empty. My parents pestered me all the time to sing. We would listen to classical music, and they would say "You can sing like that, can't you Herm? Sing for us." I'd just blush and ignore it, or just say no. They did it all the time, anything to hear me sing. They even offered me £50 to sing at a friends wedding." He smiled at this. "I had no money at the time, and yet I still wasn't tempted. My mum just didn't ask me from them, just realized that she would probably never hear me. My dad though. Well, he wouldn't give up. He asked me all the time. He would do anything to hear me. I caught him on more than one occasion, listening to the bottom of my bedroom door as I sung along to the songs on the radio. Of course, I would stop straight away. He always asked me. And I always said no." She finished, staring into nothingness as she thought deeply. She looked up at him. "I've never told anyone that story." She smiled faintly.

He was amazed. Her voice held him in that awesome way that he had been held before, only this time, he was listening not only to her voice, but everything else, her sadness, her regret her guilt… Why was she doing this? The question flittered through his mind for only a brief moment before he was captured by that tiny smile. She was the same as him, she felt his pain, and he hers. He began to feel a new feeling, a feeling of want, of protectiveness… Before he could stop himself, he was already speaking, this time, with no worries or thoughts of consequences of what she might say back.

"I thought that you were an angel when I first heard you." He said. He heard her voice hitch in her throat as she once again looked at him deeply. Those eyes. Those sweet brown eyes. He suddenly felt no reason to hide, no need for his cold mask.

"Your voice did something to me. I have never felt so calm before. It was almost like an addiction. Then I found you. I didn't think that I could see you in that angelic way again, but the next time I heard you sing, I did…" She stood and walked to him, his head down, standing close to him. "I needed to hear you again. Then you looked at me and didn't turn away in fear. You were looking for something…" He stopped and looked at her. That angelic feeling that he got from her was turning rapidly into something else… it was becoming more… and though he knew somewhere it was wrong, he did nothing to try to stop it.

"Don't stop…" She whispered. It was his turn to feel his breath stop slightly as she leaned closer to him, the height difference obvious now that they were so close…

"… You, you were the first person to look for me. I didn't let you, but you still did. I knew that I needed you, to hear you again, but now…"

"… Now what?" She whispered their lips so close they were almost touching. "Tell me what you feel…"

What did he feel? This incredible heat radiating between them. A feeling of wantonness that surpassed lust and tinted into belonging… he wanted her, he wanted to have her, to own her, this obsession was now past the longing for her voice, he wanted her, all of her, her mind, her body, her soul, everything… He wanted her to belong to him… this feeling of protectiveness was so strong, almost uncontrollable, as he felt her soft breath on his lips he couldn't stop his answer…

"…I feel that I need… more…"

**HEHEHEHEHE! Will update asap! Probably later tonight hopefully... but I am feeling rough so I might have an early night...**

**Ok, replies!**

**Ensnared- Hey, hope you like this!**

**rockgoddess15- Bad boys... oh yes please! Anyday! Malfoy Jrn isn't my cup of tea, slightly too young, however, Luicius... PURR! Thank you!**

**89- Glad to hear that my life is no longer in immediate danger... I cannot wait for the book to come out. Me and my friend are going to the bookshop WHSMITHs at middnight to get it straight away, we're dressing up and everything, and, get this... my dad even made me a wand! (he's a joiner type guy, works with wood) Its SO ace!**

**LadyGrey1174- Hey, I got an A for my GCSE Performing Arts and Theatre Studies! I know how to over dramatise EVERYTHING! Yes please, chocolate frogs! Yummy!**

**krystal89- Cool, a proper username huh? Nice one! Thank you!**

**Melimea- I can tell you something, I need inspriation for my next few chapters... lets just say i've never wrote an... intimate scene before!**

**RainynDawn- Yes my love, I do every single thing from both of their POVs. I'm simple that way and love writing both sides, mainly because it's best to know what they are both thinking!**

**Remusgrl01- Ahh... so Sevvikins is only 35 around about... nice one! That helps! Thank you! It makes it slightly easier to write, I thought that he was 40+ in which case I would have had to try REALLY hard for him to to seem like a perv...**

**Anarane Anwamane- Thank you!**

**Like Totally Like- Right, ok, this all depends on how old your brother is. If he is younger than 7, I tell the police that you are a potential threat to your brother. If he is between the ages of 7-12, you can kill him. They are little shits between those ages. --ahem-- Please, take a aspirin for your head and carry on reading!**

**I Love Nerds 919- You will fint? LOL! That made me chuckle when I read it. I know what you mean anyhoo. Thank you!**

**Michymouse- Aw! Thank you so much!**

**stargazer starluver- Keep it together man! (if you've seen Monster Inc you can imagine the voice I am doing as I say that... hehehe) She is a whimpering kid... but no worries... all will change soon... ;-)**


	18. Frightens Her

In The Darkness

**Ok, I have a lot to say before we start. First, I would like to apologise for not updating. It has taken me a while to decide where to go with this, there were two paths that I could have gone down, and I chose this one. I was looking for someone to email and ask for advice, but didn't know who. SO THIS CHAPTER IS AN EXTREME LEAP OF FAITH... I would really like to know what you all think because I was in two minds about this... but realised that I had to update eventually.**

**Secondly, I will not go into detail for all those who have not read or haven't finished HPatHBP. BUT I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE DIES? OF ALL PEOPLE! OH MY GOD! Was I the only person who booed my little eyes out at that?**

**In light of the new book, I would just like to point out that Severus's character in my story has not changed, even though we have found out more about his character for real. Just for the rest of this story, I am pretending that nothing happened and that he is just as he was before that book... (even though I think he is still good... I have got some AWESOME theroies...) Ahem**

**Ok, WARNINGS. **

**Detailed scenes coming up. Don't like, please don't read!**

Chapter 18

_"I feel that I need…. More…."_

Hermione could almost feel him trying to control himself. His breath, though reasonably normal was heavily controlled and deep. She could feel the heat radiate from him, clashing with her own innocence, they were so close, she was sure that if he was to listen he would hear the pounding of her beating heart against her chest. There were no thoughts in her mind, the small voice that told her that all of this was wrong was now silent, there was nothing in this moment but the two of them. She gaze crawled slowly from his lips to his eyes, and was met by the most fierce and intense stare from those dark pools, not of anger or hurt, but passion and want… A thought passed through her mind briefly, and at any other time she would have been shocked. She was not in control of this at all, she had not been right from the start, there was nothing that she could do to stop the inevitable, nothing that she could do about it… and she liked it.

But the thought was soon expelled from her mind and a void replaced it as she felt warm lips, gentle and soft, press against her own. Uncertain, they lingered there, still, before slowly beginning to pull away….

She wanted to kiss them back softly as she felt the possibility of them leaving, but in such shock was she that she somehow didn't. She felt the gap between them open, and for a brief moment she opened her eyes to see him staring down at her, uncertain, hesitant, and doubtful. There was no doubt in her mind of what was going to happen, and within seconds of him parting from her, she closed the gap between them, tilting her head slightly as she kissed his lips softly, feeling his breath hitch slightly. There was only a second of doubt before he began to kiss her back, softly and gently their lips seemingly whispered against each other. She felt his fingers slide into her delicious curls, pulling her closer, the other arm wrapping itself lightly yet possessively around her waist. Instinctively she parted her mouth in reply, sliding her tongue delicately into his also parted mouth, seeking his own. When his tongue pushed firmly against hers, she couldn't hold back the slight moan that escaped her throat, and this was all he needed as a sign to deepen the kiss, the pent up passion now apparent in the rising fury of this kiss. She kissed him back, just as aggressively as he was, their hands touching and exploring each other, tongues battling fiercely against each other, his fingers puller her closer to him, his arm now wrapped firmly around her waist, pulling her tight to him. She let her hands explore, wrapping them around his neck and letting her fingers touch his surprisingly soft hair, losing them within the confines of his thick hair. She was pressed so hard against him that it hurt, trapping her breath almost, shifting against him she tried to find a less painful position. She did not expect the reaction that she got from him as he obviously felt her hips move against his… she heard his deep groan rumble in his throat, and felt a seemingly large object press into her lower of her stomach. She gasped as she realised exactly what it was that was pressing against her. The kiss seemed to stop suddenly, yet they stayed in the close proximities of each other, their breath heavy and erratic as they gazed at one another, neither knowing what to say. As he made a move to pull away from her, she felt him press slightly harder against her by accident, her eyes shutting briefly.

"My God…" She said quietly. Her eyes fluttered open to see a look of disgust on his features.

"I'm sorry…." He said as he exhaled. He let go of her and pulled away before she could reach out for him.

"What for?" She asked quietly. There was a pause as he turned away from her, facing the wall.

"For all of this. I… I should not have taken advantage of you like that. I am sorry." He hung his head in disgust with himself. "You should leave. It's late."

There was only a brief moment of silence before she answered, not thinking about it but knowing that it was right.

"I don't want to."

He turned only his head so that it he was nearly looking over is shoulder, but not quite. He couldn't she her, but wanted her to know that he was serious.

"Perhaps you did not hear me. You should leave. Now."

"I don't want to though."

He turned to look at her, though his body was still facing away from her. He said nothing, only stared at her with those dark eyes. From those eyes he gave her a tiny preview of what was to come to her that night if she did not leave... the lust, the want, the rage, the anger, the hate, the pain… And it frightened her.

She glanced away from his stare, not wanting to know anymore. Yet she stayed, rooted to the spot, not out of fear, but out of defiance. She could change him, she knew that she could if he let her, he had let her in, shown her his weaknesses even though he had shown he never would…. She could do this and she knew it. Her thoughts ran wild with endless possibilities of what she could say next, and what would happen if it all went wrong… what she could do to make him understand… her mind raced to think of something… then the answer shone down clearly at her and she knew what she could do.

She looked back at him, only to see him looking away from her, the obvious disgust and self hatred painted across his pained features. She looked away for a second, gathering her composure, then, without hesitation, closer her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I will watch you In the darkness,  
Show you love Will see you through…"

She paused, opening her eyes to find him looking softly at her, a gentle unreadable but somehow calm expression on his face. The fear and anger from his eyes was gone, and now replaced by a look of awe and admiration. Looking at his face, she thought that she might not be able to carry on, but without thinking, she closed her eyes again and began.

"When the bad dreams Wake you crying, I'll show you all love can do, All love can do…"

Upon that last high note she opened her eyes to see Severus's flutter shut for a split second before opening again. She began to walk slowly towards him, his breath shaky as he tried desperately to control himself once again. She got close to him again, and he closed his eyes desperately.

"Do you want me to leave?" She whispered. There was a moment's pause.

"…No." He replied. She leant in to kiss him again, pressing her lips against his, and this time there was no pause before he responded. The kiss was sweet and gentle, tongues exploring each other's mouths inquisitively, not speeding up this time, just a long, slow, sweet kiss. Severus's hand cupped her face gently as they kissed, his other hand caressing her hair as her own arms snaked around his waist, reaching up to his shoulders. It was only when she allowed herself to get slightly closer that she felt and remembered the reason that he had turned so quickly from her. Within a split second she had made her decision, and knew how far she was willing to take this. She pushed herself against his erection, and felt his body stiffen and the air quickly leave his lungs as he pulled his lips away. He looked down at her, an expression of questioning and uncertainty on his face. She cleared his mind and understanding as she kissed him again, pushing her hips slightly harder against his, hearing him moan against her lips. He pushed back gently, nearly making Hermione gasp. He felt his body straighten and his erection move against her as he did, making her balance unsteady so that she stepped backwards to regain it. It didn't take long before he gently moved her backwards towards the wall, so that she was leaning against it. He pushed his hips a little harder this time, the complimentary moan that escaped her making him push against her forcefully, the kiss beginning to get a little more heated again.

He pulled his lips harshly away from hers, turning and walking away from her.

"Go. Go now." Hermione didn't move. "Please, I can't do this. Leave. Now." Her voice seemed small and weak compared to his when she spoke.

"Please don't make me…"

"I cannot guarantee your safety should you stay. Please, go."

"What do you me…?"

"I swore I would never… not again… I cannot…"

"I don't understand." She said quietly.

"You don't have to. Just understand that I could not bear to hurt you."

"Please, just tell me…"

"Just leave. I'm sorry, but you must."

"But why…"

"Because I will not be responsible for taking another's innocence again!" He said sharply, turning to face her again to enforce the severity of the situation he felt he was in. He sighed and turned away. "I'm sorry. But you must leave."

"What do you mean…" she began, but he had stalked out of the room and into the classroom, opening and holding the door open. She followed him, tears filling in her eyes.

"You can hate me. But please realise that I am sincerely sorry." She couldn't bear to look at him, she just walked out of the room, the sound of the door closing behind her echoed through the corridors as she walked slowly back to her dorm.

**Ok, you can all hate me and now hurt me to the point of near death if you so wish. But there is more to this chapter than you think. Originally it was a full on steamy sesion, but for some reason it didn't seem right... it didn't go with the story. So, I cut all that out, but now I have a very tasty, somewhat graphic sex scene just waiting to be viewed... all in good time, my little cherubs!**

**I don't normally ask too much, but PLEASE tell me what you think of this chapter! I was very uncertain about it, and might even change it... please tell me!**

**REPLIES!**

**oo-la-la- Sorry to confuse you, I know that it can be annoying to read the same stuff over again! Hope you like this!**

**Gwenny- I can tell you, there was more than a kiss! It was good, even if I do say so myself! all in good time!**

**Melimea- Nope, I had never done an intimate scene! And this was my first graphicish kissing scene! please tell me what you think!**

**krystal89- You are one of the few people who like the past few chapter's being from both POV. Thank you!**

**I Love Nerds 919- Cliffies are ace, I love em! (as you can tell) This isn't a cliffie I don't think... or at least it wasn't aimed to be...**

**the-undeadcountess-646- haha! Don't hurt your knees! Thank you!**

**Ensnared- I am feeling better thank you! Hope this is what you were after... well... a little less... but it will come soon!**

**WoodElfPrincess- lol, take the small red pills that the nice doctor lady gave you and you should be fine!**

**Sorceress Black- Aw! Thank you! I don't know what to say to that! AWW!**

**Like Totally Like- Oh, if he's 17 he will be stronger than you... don't hit him... and if you do... go for the gonads!**

**RainynDawn- OF COURSE THEY KISS! They can't get THAT close and not kiss! lol OH I would have any form of Gerry Butler thank you! He is so fine... --dribble--**

**JTBJAB- I know, sorry about the chappies been the same but hey, thats how I work! Hope this was different enough for ya!**

**emily- Oh, stage fright chick? Cool! Hopless romantic eh? Well, truth be told so am I. Thats why I couldn't bear for them to do "it" in this chappie. It just didn't seem right!**

**pattycakes- Please don't be confused! They are pretty much the same but from a different POV!**

**SilverandSilent- You lost your dad? I am so sorry. Thank you for reviewing! I love your reviews!**

**Anarane Anwamane- Here it is!**

**Zandra Night- "Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime... lead me, save me from my solitude... say you'll want me with you here, beside you... ANYWHERE YOU GO LET ME GO TOO... CHRISTINE... THATS ALL I ASK OFF...--Gasp!--**

**ss-slytherin- Yeah I lived in Canada for about 6 months. I lived in a small Army villiage, just up from Medicine Hat, near Calgary in Alberta. Yeah, sorry I am from England! But my grandparents and dad is German and Ugoslavian (can't spell) So I am a half breed!**

**Drusilla the pryo- Thank you! I am totally flattered! I hope you like this one!**

**YamiSuboshi- i kinda didn't fully understand what you meant by a beating from a cliffie... but hey! Thank you! You know, I don't eat any form of fruit after 7, or else I don't sleep! You are so kind, thank you so much!**

**starlightdreamer052000- Quickly! Here's your fix!**

**Lene- Not the face! Please, not the face! Ok, don't hurt me too badly for stopping them... please?**

**Fairy of Fire and Fury- I was there at midnight waiting for that book... only to find that... he... IS KILLED! Gutted, i cried my eyes out!**

**JameseMalfoy- Thank you. Now what do you make of this?**

**queenanneus- Well, what can I say?**

**phantominhell- Thank you!**

**CaligionousArchAngel- Oh right, thats still not too bad... kinda... but hey! Thank you!**

**Severus-Fan- Please don't cry! Here, take this! --hands over this chapter--**

**draco'sladylove- I am mean. I am a nasty spiteful person wo hates J.K Rowling after doing what she did to you know who in the new book.**

**MyEmeraldEyes- Sorry for the wait! Here it is!**

**Hevensdevil- Erm... step away from the meat clever and walk away... dont hurt me... take your pills before reading this...**

**Zandra Night- He isn't all that bad, I have come up with a theory that I think is right... I don't think that Sevviekins is that bad! Trust me!**

**SmeagulTheWeasul- --takes a bow-- Oh thank you!**

**Xmasgoose- Your pen name made me chuckle! hehe! Sorry for the wait!**

**ChanterelleSnape- Lucius is hot! So bad and naught and surprising blond... but hey! He is fine!**

**PotionGirlie- LOL! Thank you! I get a royal title now! The lyrics that I wrote before were "Wishing you were here again" from Phantom of the Opera. I love that song.**

**SnapeFan479- Thank you!**


	19. You Foolish Girl

In the Darkness

**Sorry for not updating for so long! Have been so busy, don't even know where to start! Sorry for all of those who don't like repeat chapters, but you should know my style by now, and I thought that this was like essential to the rest of the story. Less chat, more chappie.!**

Chapter 19

She was so close to him, this young woman, stood there, by_ her own will_… he wasn't forcing her… she had let him in… was it wrong? Was it wrong to want his student? This… burning desire that had consumed his body… her innocence radiated from her, glowing like a pure white light… he wanted her, he wanted that innocence for himself. He could take it, she would give it him, but it was always so much better when he had taken it… He pushed those thoughts from his mind as he heard her exhale gently over his lips, her sweet breath tickling his lips tenderly…

Before he could stop himself, he had leaned forward that small amount, gently pressing his lips to hers. The tingling sensation from his lips had now left, and was beginning to travel through his whole body. There was no reaction from the woman in front of him, uncertain, he began to pull away. He opened his eyes to look down at her, trying to think of something to say.

"Severus, you stupid man, how dare you ever think that she would…" His mind was silenced as her lips pressed on his own, those sweet, full lips moving against his as she tilted her head slightly. He didn't know what to do, see seemed somewhat unwilling a moment ago…

Yet his body responded where his mind would not, and instinctively he kissed her gently back, her innocence and lack of experience pouring onto his lips. His fingers found themselves wrapped in her doll like curls, his arm pulling her closer, away from all of the other things that could spoil this. He felt her lips part, and her uncertain tongue slowly enter his mouth, searching for his own. He let her find it, pushing hers firmly, causing her to moan. This woman. This angel of a woman was now kissing him willingly. She was under no spells, no potion, no magic other than his own held her. Her moan confirmed all that he suspected, and he deepened the kiss as she tried successfully to keep up. Her inexperience thrilled him, a pent up lust was now beginning to consume him, a thirst that could only be quenched by her was now holding him. He pulled her tighter towards in, and was particularly pleased when she did not try to pull away. He felt her fingers in his hair, a feeling that he thought he had forgotten. He couldn't help the speed and aggressiveness of this kiss, there was no stopping it. She shifted slightly against him, her hips rubbing sensually against his, almost as if she was trying to escape. He couldn't suppress the moan that passed his lips as he felt himself grow as she rubbed herself against him, and the fact that he was now pressing against her stomach didn't help either.

He heard her gasp as she obviously realised what IT was. His eyes flew open, and suddenly the kiss stopped, their breathing, heavy and laboured. They looked at each other briefly, before he quickly pulled away, feeling himself rub briefly against her. He stopped, unable to move without her having to feel it.

How could he have been so stupid? He had made a fool of himself. There he was, 40 years old, with an erection over on of his students. He was abusing his position of power that he had over her. He felt a small tingle of nausea in his stomach as he though of the times when he would have been happy to take full advantage of this position. But he couldn't, he wouldn't, he was a different man now. His face alone betrayed him, unable to hide his feelings of disgust with himself.

"My God…" She whispered. Her eyes opened to look at him. He could feel her looking at him. What could he say to her? Such an innocent child should not have to be abused by a monster such as himself. To think that she would willingly…. With a person like him…

"I'm sorry…." He moved swiftly away from her before she could protest, the gap between them widening, and the cold night air replaced the warmth of each other's bodies.

"What for?" She asked gently? He couldn't bear to look at her, this innocent child couldn't see why he had stopped. He faced the wall as his shoulders slouched forward slightly.

"For all of this. I… I should not have taken advantage of you like that. I am sorry. You should leave. It's late." He had said it out loud. She must understand. There was a pause.

"I don't want to though."

He let out a sigh that he was sure that she didn't hear. Her innocence excited him, yet he was sickened by his tastes at the same time. Could she not see what would happen if she was to let him take her? He had sworn that he would never again. That would be completely undone should she stay. He remember that all too familiar feeling of complete consumption of his reasoning as he had kissed her, like countless others before her. He remembered exactly where it had led, the consequences, and the reason why he taken the oath never to do it again… How could she possibly know this? Like all those before her, she was too innocent, too young to possibly understand the horrors that he had suggested, seen, and taken part of. If she was so good at reading him, then she would surely see the horrors and pain that she would succumb to if she did not leave. What she would unleashed within him if she let him carry on. He turned to look at her, those chocolate eyes looking back at his as he poured into his stare everything that he felt when he held her in his arms, the lust, the want, the rage, the anger, the hate, the pain…

He saw her look away, almost knowing why he had told her to leave. Yet she didn't. How could she be so foolish? She must, she must leave…

But then a voice. A voice rang through the darkness, cutting his cruel thoughts in two. The sweet sensation of calmness and purity rang through his mind again as his thoughts relaxed to nothingness at the sound of her voice. It was only brief, the final high note causing his breath to hitch in his throat as he realised that she had sang for him. Without him asking, or demanding. She had just sung for him. Something that he had wanted for what seemed an age. His eye fluttered open as he heard her walk towards him, leaning in close to him.

"Do you want me to leave?" She asked.

No. He didn't. He wanted her to sing to him, to let her voice hold and caress him, expel those wicked thoughts from his mind…

"No" He answered, just as the other part of his mind told him that he didn't want her to leave so that he could finish what he started. But before he could protest, he felt those lips upon his own again, and this time did not hesitate to respond. It was soft and sweet, exploring each other this time rather than fighting. He cupped her face gently, trying to stay as gentle as possible, so that his inner demons stayed still within him. But they were quickly roused as he felt her push gently against his erection, deliberately. He straightened and pulled away, looking at her. Why did she want this? Had she misunderstood what would happen should she stay? She kissed him again, pushing harder against him. Instinctively he pushed back, firmer than she had but still gentle. He felt her begin to lose her balance, and carefully moved her towards the wall where she was able to lean seductively against it. He pushed against her again, and upon hearing her moan against his lips, he pushed harder, giving her a beginning taste of what would happen tonight... the kiss was beginning to speed up again, and he felt the door to the cage of his demons and self control open, feeling their claws try to push it further open, beginning him to release them after all this time…

_NO._

He pulled away from her quickly and abruptly, walking away from her, fighting with himself.

"Go, go now." He said. "Please, I can't do this. Leave. Now."

"Please don't make me…" She began. _No_, he though, _please don't make me. Don't make me fight this._

"I cannot guarantee your safety should you stay. Please, go." Through his cold coated voice he could still hear the shaky lack of control that he was trying to desperately to fight.

"What do you me…"

"I swore I would never… not again, I cannot…" _Just go_!

"I don't understand…"

"You don't have to understand…" _you foolish girl_, "Just understand that I cannot bear to hurt you." _And I will if you_ _stay._

"Please, just tell me…" _You would never understand, just leave, you foolish child_.

"Just leave. I'm sorry, but you must."

"But why…"

"Because I will not be responsible for taking another's innocence again!" He turned to face her, then turned away again. "I'm sorry. But you must leave."

"What do you mean…." But Severus had already begun to stalk out of the classroom, unable to explain himself anymore. He held the door open for her, waiting for her to leave. The sight of the tears in her eyes that he knew he had caused made his skin crawl. This child was willing to shed her tears for someone like him.

"You can hate me. But please realise that I am sincerely sorry." Was all that he could manage to say before she walked out, and he closed the door behind her, leaning against it as he tried to harness the beast that had nearly escaped inside him.

**Ok, replies! I am so sorry that I didnt reply to everyone, its just that I am so tired and I was trying to hurry up and write another chapter, but it didnt happen... I will reply to EVERYONE next chappie, I swear it! Which should be sometime this week, i promise! I will get another chapter out this week, I swear it!**

**AmyLauren- Oh, he is a naught boy! But come on, we love him for it!**

**Melimea- Thank you! I hope you like Sevvies POV!**

**phantominhell- There is definitly a dark side to Snape, I hate those stories where they pretend that those Death Eater years never happened, unless its a story where they say that he didn't want to be one but his family made him to be... lol! Thank you!**

**starlightdreamer05200- I know. How sad was that?**

**Severus-Fan- I just couldn't imagine them getting it on so quickly! But I am glad you like it, they will do soon hopefully!**

**I Love Nerds 919- Thank you! Hope you like this chapter too!**

**HaRrY HeRmIoNe16- Thank you!**

**i-LuV-cHaRmEd18- I booed my eyes out! LOL at me!**

**YamiSuboshi- Aw! Thank you! Beautiful? THAT IS SO NICE!**

**Anonymous- Yes, I definitly think so. Orelse he wouldn't have stopped been a death eater, right?**

**Kritbug- Sorry to keep you waiting!**

**Sorceress Black- Tell me about it, sexual tension cost me my bloody job! Don't fly out of the window just yet, what a good job I put safety locks om em, huh?**

**insariosyiel- OOOHHH A new reviewer! So cool, thank you!**

**Xmasgoose- Erm... --hands back clumps of hair-- i'm... sorry? lol!**

**SmeagulTheWeasul- Severus is ace. He isnt really a baddie... come on, we ALL know that!**

**Remusgrl01- I like your theories! Definitly! Mine are similair... Thank you! Its true, Hermione will of course get through eventually...**

**LetMeLoveYou- With a hockey stick? Not good... erm, pain? LOL! Thank you!**

**sammy2008- Because it didnt feel right for them to get it on just yet! Please be patient!**

**ssslytherin- I will share them with you, I have been so busy of late however... I will mail you soon! I love England, I have been all over the world, and England is still my favourite! Well, it's home!**

**krystal89- Thank you! There is nothing better than to be told that you inspire someone. I am truely touched.**

**Lauren- The what? Tentin? I am guessing you meant tention! LOL! Thank you!**

**Poppins- Thank you!**

**pumkin- I was really not sure about this chapter. But thank you, you have really reasurred me!**

**AubreyElla- I love Snape's character. He is by far my fav, and always has been, ever since I first read the book when I was like 11 or something. I have always had a thing for bad boys! LOL! I booed my eyes out so much at the damn book!**

**Silver Snape Silk- Thanks!**

**madam loon- A new reviewer eh? Thank you!**

**Innogen- He isn't afraid of them?Come on, what man is? Hope this chappie kinda explains a little more!**

**Lene- Aw! Thank you! Come on, we ALL want to see them get it on, I mean, I was dribbling when I was writing that sex scene!**

**JuliansGIrl- lol, any ideas now?**


	20. Never to be Faced

In the Darkness

**Hey guys, sorry that I aint replying to your reviews, that email thing about you not being allowed, well I just want to make sure before I reply properly. Hope you enjoy this, sorry its not too long!**

Chapter 20

Severus stood by the door long after Miss Granger had left, trying to control himself, telling himself that he didn't want to run out and call her back, that he did not want to ravage her, or pour his soul into her and let her see his errors and his weakness and beg her to take them away. When he opened his eyes the room was dark, the shadows from the few candles that were barely burning twisting and conforming into the torments and demons of his own mind. His eyes opened wider as his mind scolded himself for his immaturity, they were after all just shadows. Yet he still took slow, measured steps as his hand slid into his robes to finger his wand as he walked into his bedroom. He did not need the light; it was in his nature to face whatever scared him.

But somethings were never meant to be faced.

His mind and own conscience was his biggest foe, the only one that he could not face.

The faces of his victims danced for him while he slept, waiting for him, beckoning him to the hell that he had once put them through. Every night he saw their faces and knew that he would one day go to meet them, and when he did the hell that he had put them through would look like heaven after what they would do to him. He heard their voices, their relentless screams and deafening cries, calling to him "Welcome brother. This is what you made of your life."

He turned quickly as he thought he heard a noise behind him, but it was his mind once again. He slowly undressed himself, leaving the clothes in a small pile on the floor and slipped into his four poster bed with black silk sheets, embroided with small green snakes that curved up the sides of the pillows. He let the softness glide over him, like smooth fingers trying to soothe him…

His mind fell back to Miss Granger, and now he remembered her taste, the amazing sensation of her tongue against his, her body pressing against his, because she had wanted to, the look of pain in her eyes as he had pushed her away from him, the fear that had rose when he showed her his deep, hidden self…

He turned his head sharply to face a different wall. His eyes were now fully adjusted to the darkness, and although he still couldn't see anything, when he closed his eyes the faces were there to greet him, and when he opened them the wind howling outside resembled their cries. Desperately he tried to fight them, to push them away, yet nothing worked, silently he lay, cursing the God that he prayed did not exist, out of fear of his wraith.

"I have wronged you. I have hated you for the wrong reasons. You gave me this life and I have made it my own, a mockery of the blessing that you gave me, a blot of shame on the face of your creation. I should not fight my mind; it is the conscience that you gave me. It is your silent punishment, and the preparation of what is to come to me."

And with that final thought, he closed his eyes, and let the screams fill his ears as he allowed them to send him into a restless sleep once again.

Hermione suddenly found herself back at her dorm. The tears that had fallen were now cold; their only trace was the silver streaks that glistened in the candle light. Lavender lay in the bed across the room from her, gently sleeping and blissfully unaware to her roommates entry. She quietly took off her clothes, leaving on her under garments, and she too slipped into bed, like a machine her body moved whilst her mind replayed the night's events in her head. What had happened? Where had it gone wrong? She didn't care about the fact that she had kissed her Professor, she was more bothered about what he had said to her. The way that he had thrown her out, changed so quickly from one person to what seemed like another. They had kissed. Professor Snape and her had kissed. And it had been wonderful. He was so experienced, he knew exactly what to do to her. The feeling of his hands moving over her body had thrilled her, had taken her breath away as she had felt new sensations that she had never before felt, the taste of him had excited her, made her shudder with pleasure and the forbidden thoughts of what other satisfaction he could bring her. There she was, feeling these new feelings, the 18 year old virgin… at the hands of her 42 year old Potions Professor.

In theory she was disgusted. But in reality she couldn't help but feel regret that it hadn't gone further. She remembered his eyes… oh those eyes…. What pain and lust, anger and envy she had seen in those eyes. It had frightened her. Yet it had also thrilled her. His intensity was exhilarating, a few seconds of those black pools was enough to make her see him. He was mysteriously sensual, in the most despicable way. He hated himself, his past, his future, his present. He hated everything about himself. Yet she had accepted him. Shown him that not everyone thinks of him like that. So why did he deign her? Why force her against her will to leave?

"I cannot guarentee your safety should you stay."

Why? What would happen? She didn't understand, surely she could change the man who she saw in those eyes. His couldn't truly want to do those things to her, to unleash that pent up emotion in the most terrifying way possible. Could he?

No. He had comforted her. When he had found her, crying and in distress he did not hurt her, instead he had helped her. He called her his angel. He had asked her to sing for him. And she had.

And oh the look upon that pained face as she had sang. In those moments, there was no pain for him. No anger or hate. Just her voice that seemed to capture him. He was in true rapture when he heard her.

So how could he throw her out? Dismiss her like that? Could he not see the pain he had caused her? After he had said that he didn't want to hurt her?

As the day began to break, sleep finally captured her, and for the few hours that she got, the silence that she longed to feel took over.

The calm before the storm.

**Ok, I will get the plot back on track for the next chapter. This was just a kinda insight into what they are both feeling!**


	21. All Will Be Explained

In the Darkness

**Ok, so sorry that I haven't updated for ages! I have been SOOO busy! I have two chapter for you all, to make up! SORRY! They are even slightly longer... I have been up ALL NIGHT doing these, and I am so tired, so please excuse mistakes! **

Chapter 21

Professor Severus Snape turned over in his sleep early the next morning, stretching out his arm over his king sized bed, subconsciously wishing that his wandering fingers would touch a lock of hair or a patch of warm naked flesh, anything to prove that he had done the things that he had dreamt of last night. He breathed out deeply when he found nothing, not truly expecting anything or anyone to be there anyway; there never had been and there probably never would be. Without warning he pulled the covers of himself, exposing his bare skin to the cold dungeon air, instinctively tensing slightly and pulled himself up, rubbing his face to awaken the senses. He swung his legs off the bed, the soles of his feet hitting the cold floor. He got up and walked slowly towards the bathroom, not knowing for sure what day it was.

Sunday. It was a Sunday morning.

The thoughts of what had happened last night came flooding over him like a tidal wave. With his mind silent and still, he could revert back to normal thinking mode. He assessed the situation.

He had kissed Hermione Granger last night. Oh dear.

From the beginning he thought over the events of the night. From the beginning, when they had met in detention, to meeting in the tower, to him finding her outside his classroom…. Everything after that was not worth thinking about at this time. Not just their actions, but their emotions too.

He had assessed the situation, and realised the potential severity of it. He then thought of a potential plan of action.

She would need some kind of explanation….

"DAMN IT SEVERUS, WHY ARE YOU DEIGNING YOURSELF?" He screamed at himself. "You remember how she tasted? How she felt, how she was? You remember her light that shone onto you? That voice… that voice that had sung to you…. For you…. And yet you still insist on living alone?"

"No way. Absolutely no way. Do not even think about that. I am alone, and I always will be. That is how I like it…"

"Do you?"

"No. I don't. But that is the way things have to be."

"Fine. But do not treat her like she is machine. She is a human with feelings and emotions that you have breeched. You took advantage of her. She deserves more than an automated response from you." He sighed. He was right.

He had her for a lesson on Monday. He would have to get things cleared by then. He would speak to her after the lesson, and clear things up once and for all.

He pushed her out of his mind and remembered the reason why he was pushing her away. The beast was asleep within him, and he began to feel an ounce of calm once again.

The day passed all too quickly for Severus. His mind was distant and not focused, perhaps from the previous nights affairs, or maybe because he hadn't eaten all day. He had kept to himself in his rooms, not wanting to speak or to see anyone. Yet he needed fresh air, his body longed for it. All day he had breathed the fumes from his many potions that he had brewed, and now his lungs begged for release. Knowing that most of the students were down at Hogsmead and had been since noon, he decided to take a quiet walk around the grounds in peace, while the students weren't about. Draping his cloak around his neck, he stalked quickly outside, stopping as the cold air slapped against his face. Like a splash of cool water to his senses, his thoughts cleared for a second, and he could think clearly.

He began to walk around the perimeters of the grounds. Letting his thoughts take over once again he let his body take him wherever it wanted to go. The cool mid morning breeze was refreshingly cold to the exposed skin of the face and hands, his jet black hair been swept backwards as it ran over his scalp.

"Why are you even negotiating this? She is a student. Nothing more."

"Then why am I still thinking about her?"

"Because she gave you something that no-one else has ever given you. A piece of her honest and innocent soul. She let you in, as you did with her. She will take you for who you are, nothing more, nothing less. She opened up to you in a way that no one else ever has. She trusted you."

"No. She is a young, innocent girl, with most desirable attributes. It is my old self coming back to haunt…."

Severus stopped dead in his tracks. No. No, he had not just thought it. He had never considered her physical… features… before in that light. Had he?

"Why can't you just admit it Severus? You like her in a way in which you cannot describe. It is not lust anymore, although it never truly was because you would never dream of hurting her. It is not love, because that would be impossible. It is a mutual understanding, so deep that you will probably never understand it."

"But I did want to hurt her. When she was there, in my arms…"

"You stopped yourself. Can't you see that you would never do that to her? Don't try to tell yourself that she means nothing to you. She doesn't mean everything to you, but do not try to compress the feelings of concern and compassion that you have for her."

Severus let out a deep sigh. This was all too much. He had never had… feelings... like this before. Perhaps in the folly of youth, but those had been long since forgotten. These new and alien feelings could not be helped, or suppressed. He weighed up the bad points. She was a student. An underage student, well, not in the wizarding world. Student teacher relations are illegal. He was a slimy, greasy bat with a cold, dark past and an even darker soul. He was a nasty, spiteful person. She was a Gryfindor! Despite all of this, the thoughts of her in his arms, the tear struck face as she bore her soul to him, the feeling of her been so close to him, her voice that surrounded him… she was intoxicating…

Wait. What if she had given him some kind of a love potion? She was bright enough; there was no reason why she could not make it. That must have been it! Why had he not considered it before? Of course, that was what it was!

Yet he had felt this as he had heard her sing. That possessive feeling of protectiveness, he could almost hear her vulnerability…

He continued to walk, pondering and considering these thoughts. The clouds were now beginning to part, and the sun shone down over the grounds in streams of selective light. He, as always, kept to the shadows. He crept past the light, hiding in the darkness of the boundaries of the Forbidden Forest, and the despair of his own mind.

He had no idea how long he had been walking. Only that he had stopped, and stood gazing into the blackness of the Forbidden Forest, searching for the answer to his problems in the dense thickness of shadows that was the forest. It was only when he heard students laughing and talking that he realised how long he had been stood there. So distant he had been, he did not even hear three young students approach him.

"Professor?"

He quickly spun around, and found himself looking down, well, not exactly because he was almost the same height as him, but the green eyes of the Boy-Who-Lived.

"Professor, are you alright?"

"Potter, my affairs and my life have nothing to do with you."

"I didn't ask for your life story, I asked if you were ok." He couldn't be bothered been anger for his cheek. He had better things to think about.

"10 points from Gryfindor, for your blatant cheek." Was all he said, turning his back to them to tell them that the conversation was ended. He heard Potter talk as he walked away

"So much for something wrong with him Hermione. You're too considerate you know, why you'd care for him I don't know anyway…" Then her.

"Harry, how dare you…"

"Miss Granger. Your detention tonight will be at 8 o clock, instead of 7. Do not forget, I do not want to spend anymore time with you than what is absolutely necessary." He knew that she would be confused, because he had cancelled all of the detentions last night. He would explain everything to her tonight.

**Ok, sorry, little in depth... please, tell me what you think!**


	22. Sunrise

In the Darkness

**Ok, not much to say, except HAVE YOU SEEN THE TRAILER FOR THE GOBLET OF FIRE! HOW COOL DOES IT LOOK? --ahem-- Excuse me... ONWARDS**!

Chapter 22

Hermione had barely slept that night. The feeling of dread for what the next day might hold consumed her for what felt like most of the night. Her restless mind twisted and turned as she tried desperately to sleep, and the few hours that she did were tormented, no longer by her father, but by those black eyes…

Finally, at 5:45 she awoke, and she quickly swung her legs off the bed, her bare feet hitting the cool floor with a slap. She rubbed her eyes and face wearily as she tried to gather herself, when something caught her eye.

Outside the window. Hidden by the thin net curtain.

She felt the gentle heat on her face before she had opened the curtain. She pulled back the curtain, and before she had realised it opened the French windows. The cold air rushed against her face as they opened, but the beginning rays from the rising sun gave her a warm heat that seemed to soak deep within her. She gasped quietly as she realised the beauty of this natural wonder, and stood silently in awe as she let the colours consume her.

The mountains that hid Hogwarts deep within their vallies were silhouetted black as the contrasting yellow shone out from behind them. The white sun just peaked out over the top of those majestic mountains, enveloped by the light yellows all around it that slowly faded into deeper yellows, then beginning the become orange. The orange soon became a fiery red blending together harmoniously so that in turn it became a lustful blood red, bruised purple, and eventually a deep blue, and though this panoramic view stretched as far as the eye could see, only as the view ended did the sky remain black, untouched by the suns warm rays, sticking to the shadows. Yet even they could not escape, and the black slowly began to turn into the deep red, and there it stayed for what seemed to be an eternity. Yet, despite the difference in tone and gradings, the feeling was the same. A warm, sensual feeling that chased away the troubled thoughts in her mind.

The colours were so intense. So alive. So passionate. It seemed to whisper, its voice etched on the cool breeze that these colours and feelings were alike to only one other emotion. Love. And within the few moments that she was told it, it gave her a preview. The warmth that had filled her could only be felt again by that true love. Oh how she longed to be filled with that warmth every morning as she was now, and every moment in between until her final breath. The colours were so passionate and true, she could only dream about feeling that way about anyone.

She let her mind wander in the presence of this beautiful wonder. It was beyond words that she could use to describe it, the peace and tranquillity that it brought to her. She knew that if she to only reach out far enough and touch it, that she would have Mother Nature's make up upon her finger tips. She closed her eyes and let the beauty of it bring a smile of joy to her features, a shiver of sensuality and aliveness to her senses, and a tear fall from her undeserving eye. Her eyes fluttered open to see the blackness creep away, only to be replaced by the blues, purples, and at long last red.

Once again her mind flittered back to Severus Snape, the mysteriously brooding man who had kissed her so passionately only a few hours ago, then cast her aside so cruelly. She wondered if he were to be stood here, with her now, would he see the world as she did? Marvel at its awesome splendour? Or would his lips be motionless, his skin still cold and unfeeling, his cheeks dry from lack of tears, and would his coldness still breathe within him? Would he feel the power of the spectrum of these colours, or would he breathe them in shades of grey? Another small tear rolled down her cheek as she imagined a world without this. How could anyone live without these colours, these feelings in their life?

Right there she made a decision. She would not allow him to live without these colours any longer. She could give him the meaning to his life that he deserved. She could fill him with that warmth, that passionate feeling. It wasn't impossible; she could if he would just let her. Even if it was not returned, she could give him a preview of this. His life was not black and grey. It could be these colours, if he would only let them…

She look one last lingering look at her inspiration, gathering her creativity from it, then closed the windows and pulled back the curtains before she got into a hot shower, planning the day ahead.

The day had begun like any other. She had sat in the common room, waiting for everyone else to wake up. They had had breakfast, got back, got their things and had headed down to go to Hogsmead. After a bit of shopping and trudging around in the chilly weather, they all decided to go to the Three Broomsticks for a drink. Inside it was packed, the bar was barely visible behind the flow of people.

"You guys find a seat, I'll get the drinks in. Three butterbears?"

Hermione and Harry nodded in agreement, and fought their way through the crowds to find the only empty table, a corner table, full of bottles and glasses and glass stains. Pushing them to the side to make room for their own drinks, they sat down. Hermione caught Harry looking at her.

"Something wrong?"

"Erm, not really. I feel like I should be asking you that question."

"Why's that?"

"You don't seem very happy today."

"I am. I feel… liberated."

"Oh reason? Care to tell me why?"

"Not really. I just feel… better."

"Howcome?"

"I don't know. I just am."

"Oh right. Ok then…" Harry said, unconvincingly. He began to look away, and Hermione could feel herself wander.

"I realised that my dad is dead last night." Harry's head spun around. "It's ok. You don't have to say anything." He just looked at her.

"Are you alright?" She paused.

"For the first time in a long while, I can honestly say, yes. I am." Harry let a weak smile to come his features. Ron came back, holding three large glasses in his big hands.

"Man, the bar was packed. I managed to push to the front though!" Hermione looked up at Ron as he pushed her glass to her. He sat down next to her. "Herm, you alright? You seem a bit… off…" She smiled.

"Ron, I'm fine." She said, taking the glass to her lips and sipping the warm liquid, letting it soothe her throat with its radiant heat that seemed to spread over her body, reminding her of her thoughts this morning, that sunrise, and her conclusion.

The conversation had returned to its normal subject; shite in general. After finishing off their drinks, they carried on shopping, bought something to eat, more shopping, met up with Dean and Lavender, left them, then decided that they had better go back up to school. Hermione had homework to finish for the following week.

The trek back to school was slightly cool. They had been talking their aimless chit chat, well, Ron and Harry had, when Ron saw a shadow on the edge of the forest.

"What's that?" They looked in the direction that Ron was staring in.

"It looks like Professor Snape…" Hermione began.

"What the hell is he doing outdoors in the daytime? I thought bat were nocturnal…"

"Ron! Please!"

"Seriously, what's he looking at?"

"He's not moving…"

"Maybe he's thinking…"

"Yes, in the bloody cold?" Come on Ron!"

"Ok, maybe not…"

"Do you think he's ok?"

"What do we care?"

"Harry! Please, something could be wrong!"

"Fine! I will ask him!" He said, as he began to storm towards the shadow of Professor Snape. A lump gathered in Hermione's throat, this was the first encounter since…. Last night… The only reason why she was concerned for him was because of the things last night… God only knew what was going through his mind. She quickly caught up as Harry got closer to him, though she stopped behind him.

"Professor?" Harry asked carefully, glancing back at his two friends as Snape turned around. He looked cold, his skin even paler than what it usually was, except for the slightly blush of colour in his cheeks from the cold. Hermione knew what he was thinking about, even though he made no acknowledgement to her being there.

"Professor, are you alright?"

"Potter, my affairs and my life have nothing to do with you."

"I didn't ask for your life story, I asked if you were ok." Hermione closed her eyes as he said this, waiting for a huge reaction.

"10 points from Gryfindor, for your blatant cheek." Was all he said, turning to tell them that the conversation was ended. Harry walked back to them, shrugging his shoulders, lack of words.

"So much for something wrong with him Hermione. You're too considerate you know, why you'd care for him I don't know anyway…" Harry said, not caring to whisper.

"Harry, how dare you…" A voice broke her off mid sentence.

"Miss Granger." She turned around to face him. He still had his back to her. "Your detention tonight will be at 8 o clock. Instead of 7. Do not forget, I do not want to spend anymore time with you than what is absolutely necessary."

A stunned Hermione squeaked a tiny response, then allowed herself to be pulled back up to the school, considering why she now had a detention again, when he had said before that they were all cancelled.

**Ok, a little note. A few people have asked me not to write both POV. I am sorry, but this is how I have decided to write this story. I am not been snotty or funny, but, this story will be written from both Snape and Hermiones POV. I know that a lot of the time it is reading over the same bits, I will try to vary it more. However, don't ask me not to write it like that, because I am going to. No offence meant to anyone!**


	23. Professor, I'm Afraid

In The Darkness

**Ok, this is a very long chapter! And another B I G leap of faith! Replies would be GREATLY appreciated**

Chapter 23

The day had seemingly rushed by, and before she had realised Hermione found herself being reminded about a looming detention with Snape. Harry, Ron, Neville and Seamus were sat around the fire with her, chatting aimlessly.

"Herm, you know that you've got a detention in 15 minutes?"

"Hm…?"

"Hermione? Oi!" A sharp jab in her side told her that Ron wanted her attention.

"What is it?" She replied angrily.

"You have a detention in 15 minutes, and you're not even nearly ready!"

"What? Oh, oh yes, of course I do…"

"Hermione, what has got into you?"

"Sorry, I've been so into this homework, Jadypunks are really amazing creatures, you can use their liver for…"

"Hermione, please. I don't care?"

"Ronald, you have your newts coming up in just a few weeks! You should be trying to revise as much as possible!"

"No, Hermione, we have our newts in a few MONTHS. I'll do it later…"

"Fine. But don't say that I didn't warn you…" She was tired of telling them two foolish boys to revise. Finishing her sentence, she began to put her things away as she let the ink dry, screwing the top on the bottle of black ink that was now nearly empty, having only bought it a few weeks ago. Sitting back on the comfy leather chair, she picked up the parchment and began blowing on the ink gentle, encouraging it to dry.

"Why 8? I mean, it's been 7 for the past however many detentions!"

"Maybe he has something different planned for me…" She said on baited breath, secretly hoping that this was the case.

"Yes, well, I'm sure that you will have a lovely time with him… I mean, we all remember exactly what you want him to do to you, don't we?" Seamus added huskily.

"Oh please, I do not know what you possibly mean…" She said, curling her fingers around her chocolate curls and pretending to blush.

"Oh no? What was it, those hands… moving up your body…" Hermione felt her breath hitch in her throat as the light from the fire cast a dark shadow to one half of Seamus's face, his eyes looking almost black for a few moments…

"I, er, well…. What can I say? I bet he's so experienced…" She said, her thoughts coming out of her mouth before she could stop them. Luckily, the boys thought that she was messing around.

"Ha! I'd be surprised if he's even HAD a woman!" Ron shouted, causing the others to laugh.

"He'd be at a loss when it came to a woman! Can you imagine it? 'Miss Granger, what is that?' 'That, Sir, is a nipple…'" Seamus added to the conversation, mimicking their voices almost perfectly. Everybody who heard cracked up laughing.

"Seamus! That is disgusting!" She pretended to be offended. "Besides, I bet that he would know exactly what to do!"

"Yeah, right, my guess is that he's never even kissed a woman… or a man for that matter…"

"Eurgh, sloppy kisses. Hate them." Harry added.

"Those rough lips against yours Hermione. That tongue, fumbling clumsily in your mouth…"

"Ok, thank you Seamus…" She said, disgusted at the graphic descriptions.

"Yak. I hate that." Neville suddenly added. Everyone turned to look at him.

"You hate it when Professor Snape kisses you with his tongue? Neville, we all knew that you were gay, but I mean, Snape? Why?" Harry laughed.

"No, no, I meant…" But everyone was too busy laughing. "Ok, ok, so it's true! I mean, first time wasn't great, but me and Hermione managed to show him a thing or two the other night when we decided to, erm, well, you know…" That shut everyone up, the shock on their faces turning into amusement. Neville didn't often say things like that!

"Hermione! Why didn't you tell us that you had a threesome with Neville and Snape?"

"Tell me, is it true that he does it hanging from the ceiling?"

"Oh my God Ron! That is just sick!"

"Tell me, what does his tongue taste like?" It was too tempting.

"He tastes like all the exotic spices and essences of the hidden treasures of the earth, the aromatic flavours of the most remote untouched vallies of the Middle East and Asia. His tongue whispered against mine, giving me a hint of a preview of the majestic sun rising and falling over an endless landscape of orange and yellow sand, a thousand tastes of saffron, cinnamon, sweet basil, samese ginger and kaffir lime, erotic in the most mysterious and intense way…"

Ok, so she had found herself going off on a tangent…

The rest of the group stared at her, mouths wide open.

"Erm, ok Hermione…" Ron finally managed to say.

"Oh guys, sorry to disappoint you but I have to go. I know that you would love for me to carry on and tell you what Neville tastes like, but Sna... I mean, Severus, is waiting for me." She smiled, trying to convince them that her little daydream wasn't a daydream at all, and was really a way of trying to freak them out. It seemed to have worked, as there were no comments made as she left. She smiled to herself as she thought of their reactions if they knew that her description was true.

Band on 8 o clock, Hermione rapped on the Potion room door, a thousand thoughts running through her mind. How was he going to be with her? What would he say? Even though she had come to her conclusion about what she was going to do, she was nervous as to how he would react about last night…

She heard the all too familiar "Enter", took a deep breath and entered the classroom.

He was sat at his desk, writing something. His eyes did not look up to meet hers, he kept them focused on the paper, the whole time.

"Miss Granger, for your detention this evening you are going to be gathering ingredients with me from the Forbidden Forest."

A white fear struck through her. Why was he taking her to the Forbidden Forest? He had said yesterday that he would hurt her if she was to stay, he never wanted to take another's innocence… and now he was taking her into the Forbidden Forest? What was he going to do to her? He had been acting very strange earlier…

"Why Sir, what are we…"

"Do not question me, Miss Granger. You will do as I say." He put his quill down and stood up, his eyes still not meeting hers. Was that because he didn't want to remind himself of last night, or because he didn't want to see her as a person with emotions, it would be easier for him to… well…. Hurt her if he was more detached…

He walked towards the door, his thick cloak sweeping behind him. She didn't move.

"Come, Miss Granger." He said, his back to her. It took her a few moments to force her feet to move.

She kept her distance from him. A good few steps behind him, as he strode off in front of her, she found herself having to run slightly to keep from falling behind. As he opened the doors that led onto the grounds, and the cold night air hit her bare arms, she realized that she only had a short sleeved t-shirt on. Before she could mention it, he had begun the trek towards the Forbidden Forest, forcing her to run to keep up.

They had been walking for about 5 minutes before he finally stopped on the bounders of the dark, thick Forbidden Forest. She almost ran into him, he stopped so suddenly. He turned to her, looking down at her in almost disgust. She looked up at him, and for the first time since last night their eyes met. She did not like the man stood before her, cold, unforgiving, unemotional.

"I beg of you, Miss Granger, please watch where you are going." He drawled.

"Sorry." Was her mumbled response. They both saw her breath on the air, the sudden cold contact of her hot breath becoming visible suddenly. He smirked.

"Miss Granger, perhaps you should have brought some suitable clothes?" Oh, she was beginning to get annoyed. Being cold did not bode well with her, let alone with a sarky, nasty, confusing man.

"Perhaps you should have told us about this fun little outing? The I could have prepared for it?"

"5 Points for your cheek. I will not tolerate those kind of remarks, Miss Granger." Then, he began to stride into the very depths of the forest, not looking back to see if she was keeping up. Hermione found herself running to keep up with him.

"Sir, sir, where are we going?"

No reply.

"Sir, please, please will tell me where we are going?"

"No." Was his simple response.

They had been walking for what seemed to be a good few hours, but was really 15 minutes. The creaks and echoes of the forest startled Hermione, it was so dark that there were no shadows, no shapes forming against the twisted tree trunks that made up the forest. She was constantly stumbling on tree roots and other unidentifiable objects. She was cold, her arms were like ice to touch, she was mildly afraid, and the person who was suppose to be protecting her was striding off in front of her, his black clothes melting into the surrounding blackness. She couldn't see him.

"Professor… please… please can we stop?"

No reply. She couldn't see him, she couldn't hear him…

"Professor… where are you?" Her voice hinted with fear.

No reply. She stopped, so that she could hear any footsteps snapping over the dry twigs that lay on the floor. The sound of the forest filled her ears, the trees creaking, an animal growl in the distance, a swoop that told her that a bird had passed over head, the cry from an animal in pain… yet no sound of footsteps… all in the sheer darkness….

"Please Professor, I'm afraid." The fear now blatantly apparent in her shaky voice.

"Miss Granger, please, desist being so pathetic and keep up." Hermione felt unwanted tears sting her eyes, the fear, the darkness, the noises, the cold, the lack of emotion from that man…

"Professor, where are you? I can't see you… where are we going…" Her voice wavering as she slowly took a few steps forward, stumbling over a hidden rock. She heard him now, turn around and walk forcefully towards her. She could hear the power in his steps, but she still couldn't see him. His silence scared her, that hidden, confident power that he had over her… she began to walk backwards, falling over the same rock that she had just stumbled over.

She hit the floor with a high pitched "ah", feeling her knee cut open on a protruding tree root. She quickly wiped away an escaped tear, when she felt the material of her Professor's cloak against her arm. She looked up to see a faint shadow of him.

"Get up."

She tried to get to her feet without his assistance. She stood, hanging her head.

"Now keep up."

And he turned from her again, striding off into the darkness again.

"No, Professor, come back…" She began.

"What is it, Miss Granger?" He asked, the anger rising in his voice.

"Please, I don't like it here; I'm cold and my knee's bleeding, and I just…"

"You just what?" He said, walking back to her.

"I... I just don't like it…" There was a pause.

"Miss Granger, I couldn't care what you like or don't like."

That was it. How dare he treat her like this? He was so caring yesterday, what was wrong with him? She was cold, in pain, afraid, and not happy. She couldn't help herself, she felt the anger rising within her, the emotion was going to pour out of her, she could feel herself wanting to cry…

"W, why are you being like this?"

Silence.

"WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS?"

"Like what, Miss Granger?"

"Why can't you call me Hermione? Like you did last night?"

"Miss Granger, I wou…"

"No! Call me Hermione? You think that you can treat me like this? I don't know what your problem is, but you have no right to treat me like this!"

"How dare you…"

"Oh here we go! What are you going to come up with? The teacher/student act? Well how many teachers kiss their students like you kissed me last night? How many teachers find themselves hard in the presence of their students? You cannot treat me like this, I won't allow it! I am not a toy, Severus, Snape, Professor, whatever you want me to call you. You were such a nice person yesterday, and now you are worse than ever! No matter what you think, I am a woman with feelings! I want to know what's going on!"

She felt her adrenaline leave her slightly, being replaced again with fear as she heard him take measured steps towards her. If this was going to be the last thing that she ever said to him, she was going to make it as good as possible.

"I want to know where you are taking me! I want to know why you have dragged me out here, in the freezing cold, why you are making me feel so afraid. I want to know what happened last night; I want to know what you meant by all those things that you said!"

She had run out of steam. Nothing else to say really. She waited for his response, fear and adrenaline, anger and pain coursing through her veins.

"Miss Gra… Hermione. I appreciate what you have said. And I understand you perfectly. However, now is not the time to discuss this…"

"Oh, no, you are not going to pull that one!" She said, pulling out her wand and shouting the words Lumos. The light shone from her wand, lighting up their features. Snape took a deep sigh.

"I am sick of you're emotional constipation, Severus Snape! No matter what you try to tell yourself, you felt something last night in the tower. You opened up to me, you showed me the real you. And did I flinch? Did I run? No." She saw the… sadness… almost desperation in his eyes, and she felt herself soften. "I just want to understand you. I just…"

"You will never understand me."

"Please, let me try."

There was a flicker. A glimpse of something in his eyes, something uncontrollable. All emotions mixed into that look. He was going to do it. He was going to bear all to her.

"You want me? You want to know me? Fine."

Hermione got the distinct impression that she was going to regret ever prying into his private life. She braced herself as he looked straight into her eye and began to speak.

**Ok, I know that the plot hasn't been moving very fast over the past few chapters, so this one I decided to shift into 5th gear! Tell me what you think... Granger gets tougher, and Snape will get even tougher next chappie!**

**WARNING FOR NEXT CHAPTER It will have Snape's very dark past in it! Very dark**...


	24. Nothing I Do Is Without Reason

In the Darkness

**Ok, sorry I haven't updated for a while, I have been SO busy! Here's an extra long chappie! Enjoy! A bit of Severus's history... Please remember I am thinking that the Half Blood Prince never happened! just for this story!**

Chapter 24

Granger couldn't possibly keep up. He purposely took long, quick strides, knowing that she would struggle. However, he simply did not have time to wait for her. He knew that at 8:45 precisely he could collect the dust from the moonflower plant, a potent and somewhat rare ingredient, with amazing qualities. He could hear everything that she said, though rarely gave a reply, until her persistence would reward her with a snide remark or simply one syllable answer. He had heard her stop, and in turn had stopped too. He also heard her stumble as he walked towards her, and a small cry escape those perfect lips.

"Get up." Was all that he could say.

She had of course tried to argue. Tried to get him to slow down. But he had carried on walking. Partly to get to his destination on time, and partly because he knew that at some point he would have to face her and give her the explanation that he had been rehearsing for so long. But he wasn't ready to. He didn't want to. In all honesty he was almost afraid. Of her reaction, of what he might say, what he might do. He could have collected the moonflower dust any night this week, but he chose tonight because he knew that she could shout and scream at him without being heard by anyone else. She spoke again.

"W, why are you being like this?"

Silence was her reward.

"WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS?" Out of fear she was getting aggressive, no doubt her mind jumping to conclusions that frightened her, added with the cold and the dark, she would be getting emotional too. He decided to answer.

"Like what, Miss Granger?"

"Why can't you call me Hermione, like you did last night?"

"Miss Granger, I wou…" He began, but was interrupted.

"No! Call me Hermione? You think that you can treat me like this? I don't know what your problem is, but you have no right to treat me like this!"

"How dare you…"

"Oh here we go! What are you going to come up with? The teacher/student act? Well how many teachers kiss their students like you kissed me last night? How many teachers find themselves hard in the presence of their students? You cannot treat me like this, I won't allow it! I am not a toy, Severus, Snape, Professor, whatever you want me to call you. You were such a nice person yesterday, and now you are worse than ever! No matter what you think, I am a woman with feelings! I want to know what's going on"  
He took measured steps back to her, as she carried on demanding explanations from him. He knew that the time had come, that he would have to explain himself. He didn't want to, he wasn't ready, a surge of apprehension coursed through him.

"You'll never understand me." He said simply, his mind screaming at her to shut up, not to want the answer from him.

"Please, let me try."

He looked at her, and saw a longing in her eyes. He had tried. He had told her to keep away, yet she had persisted. He didn't want to tell her, to show her. She would never know what she was asking him unless she understood. He turned to face her.

"You want me? You want to know me? Fine." He looked her dead in the eye. She must understand what she had asked him to do. Where should he start?

"Miss… Hermione… please, try to understand exactly how hard this is for me. As you know I am a private, solitary man. This kind of conversation about myself is somewhat alien to me…"

"Perhaps if you were to let people close to you…" she said snidely. Her pent up anger was threatening to spill.

"Nothing I do is without reason. There are no excuses for how I am, no made up fairy tales. How I have wished that I am the way I am out of choice, but I am not. No person is born alone, Hermione. And no person is born with the desire to be alone. Surely you must know that."

"So you do want to be alone?" She asked. He paused.  
"Nobody wants to be alone. But it is easier that way."

"So, you're telling me that someone made you want to be alone? How does that happen?" He sighed.

"Hermione, if I am to begin to explain to you, you will have to open your eyes…"

"My eyes are open, and I see is a man who…"

"No! Your eyes are shut tight! You have no comprehension of the life of others that might vary from yours! I am trying to explain to you something that I do not even understand myself! There are people who live life in a way that you cannot even begin to imagine, because it is so bizarre, so deep and dark that to even scratch the surface of it would make you sleep with the light on for fear of what lives in the shadows. I have lived such a life, Miss Granger, and for that reason alone you will never begin to understand. But to even try, you must open your eyes to a world that is not like yours. I am not asking you to accept this world, or even agree to it. Merely acknowledge that it exists, more closely than you think, and acknowledge that those who live it have never had the choice for anything better." He drew his gaze away from her, and within a split second knew what he was going to do. He walked towards her; quick steps followed her smaller ones. She stopped walking backwards only when she came into contact with a tree, dropping her wand and he stopped right in front of her, chests almost touching.

"What ar…" She began, but he cut her off, his voice sliding through the darkness, his tone calming, yet his words alarming.

"It is not my intention to frighten you. However, what I am about to show you will disturb you, in that there is no doubt. Your outlook on the world will not be the same should you truly wish to understand me. Any naïve innocence will be lost. Things that were once beautiful and simple no longer will be. Are you prepared to lose that?"

Her face. Her beautiful face. Fear, with an unquenchable thirst for knowledge written over those innocent features. There was no way that she was going to back out now. How he wished that she would. There was no way that she could know the magnitude of what he was going to share with her.

The light from her wand on the floor cast shadows across her face. Her porcelain skin looked flawlessly smooth, wide eyes searching for an answer. Slowly she nodded her head, giving him the dreaded answer. He closed his eyes only for a moment, and when he opened them, he bore into her soft doe ones, knowing that they were cold, knowing that they were unforgiving. No emotion.

Slowly he raised his hands her temple, his large hands covering the sides of her face. Her eyes widened as his closed, focusing on the images he was about to send her…

He felt her body jolt against his only for a second before all feeling was lost, and for only a moment his world went black as he was plunged into his memory. Colour rebuilt itself around him, a mixture of blues and browns and he knew that he was there again.

He was 9 years old. In his bedroom, in Snape Manor.

He looked down at his hands. They were small and childlike. His hair wasn't shoulder length, but shorter with thick natural layers to it that clung to the top of his ears and neck. He looked around and saw his room from a child's view. Everything was bigger.

Footsteps up the stairs made him lower his hands in surprise, although he knew who it was. It would be his father. He would open the door and his dark eyes would stare into his, his black cape billowing behind him, his mask in one hand, wand in the other. The hand with the mask in would have red knuckles, and though he already knew why, he found himself curious as to why they would be red. Nothing can be changed in a memory, merely understood. He would still remember his feelings as a child, yet his adult mind would feel and understand them too. Like being caught in a child's body, he could see everything from an adult view, but remember how he had seen them as a child. Even though he knew he didn't want to, because he knew what he would see and how it would hurt him, he could not change the fact that he followed his father down the stairs, remembering the feel of his hand against the wooden banister. He stood on the bottom step, seeing his mother pick herself up off the floor, a small amount of blood appearing on her lip. He didn't understand, why was she bleeding?

"Mother, are you alright?" He began to walk towards her in concern, only to be stopped by his father's cane that suddenly appeared in his path.

"Mother is fine, Severus. Tonight I want you to help me. In the study are some of my new friends. I want you to go and meet them. They have children your age that you can make friends with." His glance went back to his mother as she tried to force a smile. Then back to his father who seemed so tall. As a child he saw a flash of emotion in his father's eyes as he too looked at his mother. He didn't notice it then, but now he could see the charade. He could see it all.

"Yes father." Was all that he could say. In this mind he wanted to rush over to his mother, now understanding exactly what had happened, what would happen…

Then he was in the study. There were three people there, and two other children. Father introduced them, but he only remembered one name.

Lucius.

The small blonde boy had an air of elegance only a true pure born could have. His quiet confidence was alluring, he had no need for words, though when he did speak his voice just slid out of his throat, the words rounded and perfectly pronounced. There was no flaw to any aspect of this boy; he was in perfect control at all times. Severus was in awe of him.

"Severus, this is Lucius."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Lucius."

"Likewise Severus." Was all that he said. There was no need for anything else.

"Severus, why don't you show Lucius your extensive book collection?" His father began. But the darker blonde man interrupted, his voice every bit as suave as his son's

"Snape, surely you should let the boy stay. There are things that we discuss that he may find… interesting… Lucius is always present with me at these… meetings… and he finds them somewhat interesting, don't you Lucius?"

"Of course Father. Nothing pleases me more." Severus found this boy amazing. What could his father be speaking of that he found so interesting? His father had started going out a lot recently with his new friends. He was barely ever at home. He had often heard his mother sob quietly so that nobody would hear her. Would he be able to go with his father to these appointments?

Suddenly his mother was there. The silver tray with silver cups and teapot was on the floor, the beige liquid now slinking steadily across the marble floor. His father's hand was still raised high above his head; his mother was once again on the floor, hands flat to the floor in an attempt to break her fall. Severus felt his face swell with anger but knew that it didn't show. He leapt forward and was by her side, his hand on her shoulders as his small voice asked her if she was alright. She didn't lift her head. He realised in his adult mind that she was ashamed. She didn't want him to hate his father.

Severus's young eyes rose to his father, whose hand had now lowered. His child eyes couldn't see the obvious pain etched on his face, the thin mask of indifference barely covering up the self disgust. He heard everybody chuckle and laugh, and watched as his father tried to laugh as well. But his child's eyes couldn't see the act.

"Father! What have you done?"

"I do not need to explain myself to you, Severus; nothing I do is without reason." Now he could see his father's eyes boring down into his, preying that his son would understand. But the 9 year old Severus Snape didn't.

"How could you!" He shouted, and much to the other guests amusement, stood and raced towards his father, who simply caught him by the wrist, sending a sharp pain up his arm.

"You wear your emotions on your sleeve, Severus. You will learn that a mistake like that can cost you your life." He let go, pushing him away. "Now leave us. Take Lucius upstairs and show him your books." Severus turned and returned to his mother, who was now nearly standing. "Severus, leave her. Do as you are told."

"I will do as you tell me no longer!" He shouted back in defiance. The guests waited, intrigued by how Snape senior would resolve this matter.

"Son, you must do as I say. Do not make me force you."

"No!" Was all Severus could think to shout back.

"Severus…" Came the gentle voice of his mother. "Do as he asks."

"But mother…"

"Severus please." She begged. He turned and looked at his father one more time before turning on his heel to leave the room.

The young Severus closed the doors to the study and leaned against them. It was only then that he looked up to see the face of Hermione Granger looking at him, hands clasped to her mouth.

Suddenly his world went black, and was rebuilt into the cold darkness that was the Forbidden Forest. Snape lowered his hands as Hermione opened her eyes.

"You're… you're father used to…"

"No, Miss Granger. Not for fun. My father was not like that. As you can tell, he joined the Death Eaters when I was 9. To prove his worth to the group and power he would have to treat my mother that way whenever they came to visit. I was too young to see the charade that it was, and how it pained my father to touch my mother like that. As a result, I hated my father from that moment on. He would not explain to me why he did any of it."

"I don't think that I understand…"

"My father did not choose to join the Death Eaters and live under Lord Voldemort's rule. He was forced. I do not know the full circumstances, all I know, as I later found out, was that he did it to save his family's lives."

"And that is how you met…"

"Lucius, yes. From a young age he was interested in the Dark Arts, as was his father, and his father before him. I know that you are thinking that that memory has no relevance to the answers that you seek. But it does. It is highly significant. I have been privy to hiding emotions and double lifestyles since a young age. It has become somewhat a way of life for me. "

"What happened afterwards? Did Lucius go upstairs with you?"

"Yes. Eventually he did. He tried to explain to me that women are inferior. That they are supposed to be treat like that because they were useful for nothing else except one thing that his father had not yet told him. His calm elegance almost won me over, and for a few shameful hours he did convince me that my father was right. Then when he left, my father tried to explain his actions. But I would not listen to him. I remembered my mother's silent tears hitting the marble, and I hated him as soon as I saw his sunken face, the dark rings around his eyes inspired nothing but contempt and I gave no thought as to why they were there."

"I hated him for 7 long years. He took me to the death eater meetings, but only because he had to. He didn't want me involved. He tried half heartedly to get my involved. But I was never overly interested. Not unless Lucius was there. I admired him; he made everything sound so right. They would start off talking about muggles and muggle borns, then as I got older they would say what they wanted to do to them, and how, and why. Every time I saw Lucius, I would agree entirely to everything that they suggested. Looking back, I can see my father's disgust as I agreed and laughed at their cruel jokes about the things they did. Lucius just had such a way of putting things; it was like I was under a spell whenever I was around him. I agreed entirely with him and his morals. Then he would leave, and I would hate myself for thinking such things. I would see my mother tending to her bruised face, an imprint of someone's knuckle on her delicate features. And I would remember how special people can be, no matter who they are. But Lucius would come back; with his alluring sense of appeal… it was nothing more than a vicious circle."

"7 years I hated him. But I failed to see that it was all an act. And I also failed to see that I was becoming the very thing that I hated every time I was with Lucius. And it was only on his last night alive that I realised exactly what he had done for me and my mother, and why. But by then it was too late. I was turning into the very thing he had tried to save me from. By the time I really my mistakes, it was too late. He never lived to see my regret. I will never know if he forgave me." He stopped as he read the look on Miss Granger's face. Her breath appeared on the night air, yet she did not shiver. "Are you ready to see more? Or have you had enough?" He already knew her answer as he stepped forward again, his hands resting gently against her temples as he waited for his world to go black again.

**Ok, too long? whatdayathink? I know that some people may found found ita bit boring... well.. sorry but get over it. THANK YOU TO ALL MY LOVELY REVIEWERS!** **--big kisses and Oreos all around!--**


	25. Merry Christmas Severus

In The Darkness

**In this chapter, it kinda explains why Severus was so into the Defence Against the Dark Arts and such. Just my take on things! I know, it's boring, it's his history and stuff. But hey, it's needed!**

Chapter 25

"Let me warn you. Some of the things you are about to see may not make sense. This is because it is purely a child's memory. The way I saw things as a child are the way that things are portrayed. If it jumps or skips parts, it is because it is a part that I have tried to forget."

He closed his eyes again, and felt the world around him dissolve to a colour somehow darker than the dense blackness that already surrounded them.

The colour rebuilt itself around him again. Brilliant cherry oak appeared in front of him, crimson reds with gold trimmings shone brightly in front of him. He was there, in his dining room. He was 14 years old.

He looked at the plate in front of him, noticing how his fork was absentmindedly pushing peas around his plate. He looked at the time. 19:30.

"Severus. Please, eat the food that God has thankfully put on your plate." Sighing, he pushed some peas onto his fork and forced them in his open mouth and eventually down his throat. The slimly feel of them sliding down made him feel sick.

"Mother, please, I don't like these."

"If you don't like them, then don't eat them, but eat your salad. I put extra rocket in it for you." There was a pause.

"Where's father?"

"Your father is working late." A pause.

"I don't believe you."

"Excuse me?"

"I said that I don't believe you." His mother sat staring at him, mouth open wide. He had just accused her of lying. How could he be so blatantly rude?

"I'm sorry mother. I didn't know what I was saying."

"If you don't believe that he is working, then where, prey tell, do you think he is?"

"Mother, I don't want to upset you…"

"I have asked you a question, Severus, I would like to hear your honest answer." Well, here it goes…

"I think that he is with his friends. I think that he is lying to us when he tells us that he is working late. He is with Mr Malfoy and everybody else."

His mother sat and stared at him. Severus felt a wave of guilt rise in his stomach as he thought of how badly he must have hurt his mother. He tried to cancel it out by telling himself that she had asked for his honesty. But sometimes, honesty isn't all the best policy. But he so wanted his mother to realise how badly his father was treating her. How could she let him treat her like this?

"Severus. You have no idea of what your father does for us."

"He brings us nothing but trouble and pain."

"Severus! How dare you speak of your father like that!"

"But it is true. He treats you like you are a dog. He beats and hits you and pokes fun at you whenever his friends come home with home. He takes me with him to his friend's houses, and I don't like it. But he does it anyway, merely to keep up appearances…"

"Severus please…"

"No mother! Too many times have I cooled your swollen face. Too many times have I had to clean splatters of your blood from the floor. Too many times I have heard you cry in the night as you wait for the husband that never comes home until you are asleep, only to leave first thing in the morning. I worry everyday for you when I am at school, when I know that there is nothing I can do to protect you! He is not the man he used to be. He is hurting us both! We must leave him! Before everything gets worse!"

She was silently trying to conceal her tears, her hand covering her mouth. How he wished that she didn't cry. How he wanted her to jump up and agree, happy for hearing that her son didn't love the horrible man either, so that they could run away together. But she didn't. She just sat there, speechless. Suddenly it hit Severus. This was her life. She could never escape it. And neither could he. He would not stop trying though.

"Mother, I have learnt things at Hogwarts. I am much brighter than other people in my year, I have been studying so much. My Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher has let me have some of his books to read, I know spells that most people don't. I can protect us. I can hide us from people, give us new names and identities. It took me a long time to be able to do it, and I have had a hard time trying, but I can do it. Please mother, let us leave tonight!"

She still sat, silent. Crystal tears slid down her face. Her eyes fluttered open and faced his stare for the first time. Her face creased as more tears fell from her beautiful blue eyes as she gently shook her head.

"Mother…"

"Severus…"

"Mother, please, listen to me…"

"Severus, you do not know what you say. I know that your father will forgive you."

"No mother, I do know…"

"Severus, you speak of things that you truly do not understand. You do not understand what your father does. Please, say no more."

"But mother…"

Suddenly a door slamming broke both of their attention. His mother rose quickly and rushed towards the source of the noise, and Severus found himself following her, even though he knew what he was to find…

His father stood in the grand entrance, glazed eyes stared into nothingness, contemplating whatever it was that a monster contemplated, the young Severus thought to himself. He saw his mother rush up to him, arms wrap around him, calling his name. She gently shook him to no avail, rising concern growing on her face. She cuddled him again, calling his name. Suddenly his hand twitched alive, and strong arms wrapped around her tender form, Severus noticed. His voice was mumbled as he sobbed into her neck.

"I was there. I am so sorry. So sorry…"

"For what? Izacke please, tell me…"

"I was there… I was there…"

"Where? Please…"

"How could I, please, please, forgive me, I am so sorry…"

"You're scaring me Izacke, please tell me what is wrong, are you hurt?"

"I looked her in the eyes…"

"Who? What have they done to you? My god, you're shaking…"

"How could I? How could I? Those eyes…. Those eyes… those emerald green eyes…"

Severus heard the sound of his own voice, even though he didn't think that he was saying anything. His mother turned quickly to face him, apparently unaware that he was watching. His father's own black eyes were red and sore looking.

"Severus my darling, go to bed. Father will be fine, please, just go to bed."

He didn't argue. He didn't fight. He simply turned, and made his way to his bedroom.

Suddenly it was the next morning. The frosty sunlight tried to filter through the heavy curtains, peeping through the tiny hole where they had not been drawn properly. He pulled them back, opening his steamed window to reveal a world of silver and white, and a sky of pastel blue and pinks. He smiled to himself, knowing that it was definitely Christmas.

He was only waiting for a few minutes before his owl came soaring silently from the morning sky, giving him an affectionate nip as he untied the morning newspaper from her leg. He sat on the open window as he opened the paper, absentmindedly stroking his feathers with his right hand. His eyes were drawn to the big heading on the front.

"NIGHT ATTACK IN DERBYSHIRE- 5 DEAD"

The smile dropped from his young face as he read the details. A family, mother and father with 3 children, killed last night in yet another violent attack. Unprovoked, no witnesses, violent deaths, possibly related to the string of attacks on muggles and wizard families alike up and down the country…

The young Severus shuddered. How could anybody do such a thing? He looked over at the photograph of the family. The father had a strong build, holding the mother in a warm embrace as the smiled at the camera. The smallest child, a girl, aged only about 4, wandering around the parent's legs. The middle child, a boy, aged about 9 or 10, pulling stupid faces at the camera. And the oldest child, a girl, aged about 15 or 16, running to pick up the youngest and pull her away from the mother's legs, kneeling down to the infants level to laugh and smile with her, then pointing to the camera and telling the infant to wave… the most fantastic emerald green eyes sparkling as she looked at the camera…. Something in Severus's mind clicked. The older Severus tried to look away, knowing what was to happen. He tried to stop the bile from rising from his stomach as he was suddenly running down the stairs, through a set of doors and into the dining room.

"YOU MONSTER! HOW COULD YOU! HOW COULD YOU!"

"Severus, what is the meaning of th…."

"He was there! He did this! Him and his friends! This is what they do for fun, this is what he has been doing all those nights when he claimed to be working!"

"Severus!"

"Look! Look! Have you not seen the paper today mother? A muggle family, brutally murdered last night. He was there! He did it! This is what they talk about doing mother! This is what they do! How could you! You sick, vile, monster!"

His father had sat there, motionless as these accusations where thrown at him, his arm in mid air, holding the now cold piece of toast still.

"Don't you deny it! Don't you dare deny it! I know you where there! I know! How could you! I have muggle friends! I have muggle friends who are the same age as that girl that you killed last night! Who have the same colour eyes as her! What did you do to her? Torture her? Rape her? Did you make her scream? Did you make her cry out for death, make her do all of those things that you talk about doing with your friends? You're a filthy, sick man!"

Severus stood, paper thrown to his father's feet, his breathing hard and fast. His father looked at the photo, then looked up at his son, those black eyes boring into his own.

"I will not lie to you anymore Severus. If you want to know, then you can. You are old enough to make your own decisions now."

"Where you there? Last night, where you there at that house?" His father couldn't bear his stare any longer, and broke away from it. "Tell me it's not true father." He sighed.

"I was there last night Severus."

He felt tears fill his eyes as he looked at his father in a different light. The sick, perverted murderer. He had nothing to say to him. He spat at his feet, and stormed of the room, not answering his mother's calls for him to come back.

The world around him turned black again, and all he could hear was the sound of his father's voice, explaining through his locked bedroom door. He couldn't have told a single word back to him though, for he truly was not listening.

The world built up once again around them, and Severus felt a shudder tingle down his spine as he realised what day this was. Christmas.

He walked slowly down the stairs, ready to take his presents upstairs to open, and throw away anything that his father may have bought him. Fear ran through the older Severus, as he knew what was to happen, and he couldn't help but scream at himself not to go through the doors. But of course, he did.

The room sparkled with Christmas decorations, like it always did. The fire was roaring tremendously, the tree was huge with lavish gold and red decoration. Standing next to it, was the young Lucius Malfoy, his best friend. It was only then that he realised that the room held an extra 5 people in that shouldn't be there, his father included.

"Mr Malfoy, what a pleasant surprise. Merry Christmas." He said automatically.

"Young Mister Snape. Merry Christmas to you too. But we were just leaving, please, join us."

Severus looked at his father, whose eyes did not meet his. He took a deep breath, knowing that he would be able to talk to Lucius in a little more detail if he went along with them.

Suddenly they were outside, the cold winter air stinging his eyes and he pulled his black polo necked jumper higher over his face. He was climbing a steep hill, his father lagging behind somewhat with some of the other members of the small group. However Lucius was up front, talking to him the whole way.

"I have helped them arrange this. You will be so surprised. And what a better day to receive this present, than on Christmas. You will like it so much."

"What is it, Lucius?"

"Ah, my friend, I cannot tell you! It was spoil the surprise!" His grey eyes glistened as his smile widened. They were coming close to the top, and Lucius turned to him again. "Let me give you some advice. Agree to everything they say. No matter what you think of it, because believe me, it is better than it sounds. And do not, DO NOT cry out."

"Cry out from what?"

"You'll see." That smile was sensational.

As they topped the hill, There was a small group of people stood in a circle. The circle had gaps in it, and when everybody else caught up, they took their places in the circle. He took a place next to his father and Lucius. Lucius was finding it difficult to stop himself from smiling at the puzzlement of Severus. A man suddenly appeared with a small Pop in the middle of the circle. He looked around the group, then began to speak.

The rest of the memory was a blur. Too much emotion for one mind to cope with, it had all been mixed into one. Severus watched as his young self knelt on the cold, damp grass before the Dark Lord, repeating everything that his father was telling him to say in his mind. He watched as the Dark Lord smirked as he finished speaking. He watched as suddenly a shot of blue light came from a wand and hit his face, knocking him to the floor with a blinding pain which brought small dancing lights. The pain continued, but soon rupturing from his arms, legs, stomach, head, anywhere that his attackers could hit. Looking up at the cold morning sky, the vision of a boot to his face made him shudder. He watched on as the group moved him, each taking it in turns to hit, kick and spit at him, tell him how worthless he was. He looked into his own father's pain filled eye as he brought his fist down over his 14 year old son's left eye. He felt his nose break, his nose and lips burst with blood. It seemed to be endless, a constant pain that just soared over his senses. He had no idea of how long he was there, but a voice brought them to a halt.

That was just the beginning.

His body, bent and broken on the floor, rigid and unable to move, fingers digging into the damp soil, his swollen eyes screwed up tightly, face contorted and twisted as the sound of his screams echoed over the otherwise silent hills. Then blissful relief as it stopped, only to be started again. Over, and over.

His body the only thing protesting as he did exactly what the man said. He took his clothes off, sang and danced for them, ate the grassy mud that he had made by writhing in pain in it. He touched himself, said things about his mother, and the whole time the group laughed and laughed at him.

The pain and the humiliation was endless. How long he was there he did not know. Too much pain, too much emotion.

Then, a cloth. A piece of cloth waved in front of the only eye that he could barely see out of. A purple, silk cloth. A voice.

"Kiss it. Dedicate yourself to me."

His breath caught in his throat as he coughed violently, spitting blood and mucus on the ground underneath him. He looked up at the man stood before him, his body screaming at him to stop. His foot to his face made him look away.

"Do you dedicate your life and death to me?" Through the pain, Severus tried to think. But there was nothing to think of, he couldn't focus. He was in too much pain. Slowly, he picked himself up to his hands and knees, leaning forward carefully.

"I dedicate all that I am to you, my Lord."

His cracked lips puckered slightly as they made contact with the soft cloth. His lips, swollen and bruised were covered in blood, the will to lick or wipe the blood away had long since passed. The man smirked as he knelt besides the young Severus, oblivious to the slight gasps of the other members present.

"Sseveruss. You have proved yourself to me. If you can endure one more thing, I will take all of the pain away, that pain that is just flowing over you. Can you do that for me, Sseveruss?"

After a slight pause and some more coughing, he spluttered "For you, master, I will do anything." The man stood, grabbing Severus's arm and pulling it straight. Pointing his wand at his forearm he began to murmur a spell almost silently. For a few moments nothing happened. Then, three tiny beams of green, red and black light shone from the end of his wand, brilliantly bright they shone, the length of the light controlled so that it was only a few inched out of the wand. It gradually got closer and closer to his arm, until at last the black light touched his arm.

Instantly a pain like nothing he had experienced burst through his arm, daggered seemingly dragged over his skin, painting a dark outline of a skull. Suddenly, memories which he thought he had forgot came flooding back, watching his Grandmother's coffin slowly lower into the ground, opening his bedroom door to see his first ever owl dead, holding the last letter that he ever delivered, walking through Hogwarts School with people jeering and laughing at him… all those sad, depressing thoughts, his thoughts and feeling were magnified and intensified, so much so that he thought that his heart might burst with the sadness of it all…

As the red light touched his arm, suddenly the thoughts of his own pain and sadness diminished, and he suddenly, a feeling of true hatred and anger as he saw James Potter, with that mutt of a man Sirius Black, laughing and joking, poking fun at him, getting everyone to laugh with them at him. Walking along the corridor, about to be late for a lesson when James would cause his bag to split, and his immensely heavy load of books and ink pots smashed all over the floor, only to receive a detention for being late as James and Sirius sauntered into the class after him with no punishment at all, feeling his blood boil at the injustice of it all, wishing that he could get James alone with no wand. Seeing James with Lily Evans, the only girl he had ever… fancied, wishing that he could tear Potter's glasses off his face and ram them down that annoying throat so that he couldn't say or do a thing but watch as he took what he wanted from Lily…

And finally, the green light dragged over his skin, causing a thousand memories of success, triumph and achievement, all those things that had made him feel good, realising that he had done well, thoughts flooded his mind as pain ravaged his body…

And then it was over. It was only when he stopped that he realised that his broken voice had in fact been screaming with pain, that his swollen eyes had cried salty red tears. He couldn't help but sob as he fell to the floor, hands cradling his head, wishing that he bore the feelings out of his head.

"Sseveruss, you did not like those thoughts, no? They would slowly drive you insane, knowing that you had felt them so often. Knowing that you had wished to kill and maim people. Those feelings of despair and sadness are truly harrowing, are they not? I can take them all away. Numb the pain of living, kill those emotions and give you only those feelings of triumph and happiness. Never again will you feel guilt, sadness or anger. Only the things that you deserve. Do you want them, Sseveruss?"

"Y, yes!" He sobbed.

"For you to feel that, we must be true to ourselves. We must rid ourselves of those who are infecting us. We must make the world pure. Do you understand me, Sseveruss?"

"Y, yes!"

"Will you do that for me? Will you do what is necessary?"

"Yes m, master!"

He then straightened. Severus did not hear what was said, but suddenly his father was pulled forward, his mask ripped from his face.

"Izacke, you have never been truly loyal to me. Your motivations for joining us were purely for yourself and your family, never for me. You have betrayed me. You didn't think that I would find out did you? But I did. You must pay for your lack of judgement and your errors…"

"Sseveruss! This man has betrayed me. He has stood against everything that I have built. Everything that that we stand for, and he has gone against us. He is a traitor, and he must be punished. What sshall we do to him?"

Thoughts of those greens eyes suddenly bore into his mind as he looked at his father. He killed them. His mother's sad smile everytime he walked in…

"Hurt him." Was all that he said.

Time was ignored. He could not even recall what they had done to him. It was horrendous. Diabolical. Unspeakable. He only watched the first few hexes, then a feeling of sickness washed over his stomach, intensifying the pain slightly. Yet he would look at that man, who promised him to rid him of his pain, and the sickness would go.

Eventually they left his father's broken body alone, in what were to be last, agonising moments of life. Severus had been pulled to his feet at last, held straight by his new master.

"Sseveruss, do you know what this man did to betray me?"

"No, master." He said slowly.

"He tried to save a family that he was sent to kill. He tried to let them escape. He refused to kill them. The family of muggles in Derbyshire…"

Time stood still. There was nothing in his mind. His father had tried to save those muggles…

He never wanted any of this. He joined to protect his family. To protect other innocent families if he could…

He had ordered his father's assault. Put him through the same physical pain that he had been through, even worse perhaps. He had hated him for what he did, yet he did it all for him. He had hated him for all the wrong reasons…

"Nothing I do is without reason…"

"Sseveruss… finish him. He deserves to die for what he did to me. Kill him for me, Sseveruss…"

The green light had poured out of the end of Severus's wand like the last saving grace for his father. His only remedy. The only this that he would do for him, the only way to take away that pain…

And as he poured the last part of his emotion over his father's dead body, Severus realised that he never wanted to feel like this again. This self hatred, this loathing, this guilt, this pain. And the man who had now took him by the arm was the one who could give him that. His New Master. Lord Voldemort.

**Ok, so VERY L O N G chapter! I've been away for a while, so I firgure that you guys deserved a long chapter, even if it was a little boring! But now you know why he is alone, and has no feelings... nicer chapter will come I swear! I haven't replied to everyones reviews... SORRY TO EVERYONE I DIDNT REPLY TO! I WILL DO IN TE NEXT CHAPTER!**

**SeagullGirl- I am veryy happy that I make you happy! I hope that you like this chapter!**

**SmeagulTheWeasul- Oreos are ace! We don't overly get them over here in England, but whenever I go to the States I always bring loads back. Along with cookie dough...**

**Song Angel- Hope that this isn't too much background info! Well it probably is, but I think that it is needed! A big slive of chocolate cake sounds good to me!**

**xxXGoddessXofXdeadXloveXxx- Poor Snape! He's been through a lot hasn't he? He deseves to be happy... it will all come in time!**

**LovelyLene- I haven't given up on this story, I will confess that I was going to, but then I decided thhat it needed finishing! Hope you like the chapter!**

**selinabln- I am flattered. Thank you very much. I REALLY hope that you like this, and that it makes sense!**

**Helena- So happy that you don't find it boring. Best chapter? Would you think?**

**Lyssa Snape- To read it all in one day is a hell of a lot of Fic reading! You get two Oreos!**

**ssslythrin- I know I didn't hurry, but, erm, heres another chappie for you?**

**sasha- I'm glad that you like it! I hate those stories where they just all of a sudden fall in love! It just doesnt happen like that!**

**Anglic Bladez- Good things come to those who wait, and good things like steamy red hot action come in time! Trust me!**


	26. The Man You Were

In The Darkness

**Ok, here's another chapter for you all, it's a little bit dark and different, esp. Severus's character some of you might not like for two reasons. NASTY SCENES COMING UP! IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEN DON'T READ!**

**If I may just take a moment out...  
HOW COOL WAS THE GOBLET OF FIRE? I reserved tickets ages ago for it and wenton the day that it came out... My God it was brilliant... YEAH IT ROCKED!**

**--ahem-- Sorry about that...**

Chapter 26

He held nothing back. He showed her all of it. She watched as the bond and friendship between Voldemort and Severus grew, watched the friendship between Severus and Lucius break as a result of Lucius's unspeakable jealously. She watched the untimely death of his mother and his almost utter indifference towards it. She watched in horror as he replayed his death eater activities, the murders, the torture, the way he laughed as people would beg for mercy at his feet as he hurt them more…

"But those are not my worst demons. Not by far."

He was leant on a tree, one hand propping himself up as he hung his head in shame at the thoughts that flooded his mind.

Hermione had felt the tears escape her eyes long before now, her heart truly bleeding for the people whom he had hurt and killed. She didn't know how much more of this she could bear, not just the things that he had done, but the way that he had truly enjoyed them. The way his cruel laugh had extinguished the small flame of hope in his victims eyes, the way he smirked as he watched the life pour out of a person, the way that he just simple washed the blood off his hands every night If they were not his demons, then what were? She shuddered to think.

"You're afraid. You're afraid of what you might see, are you not Miss Granger? Do you still want to see them?"

"I… I don't know…" He turned and walked forcefully towards her.

"You asked not long a go to understand me. To see the real me. Well here it is. I am offering to you! I told you that you would lose your views on the world, and on me… what do you think of me so far Hermione? Do you still want to understand me?"

She couldn't think of anything to say. He stood in front of her and began to raise his hands to her temple, but she backed away.

"I don't want to see anymore…"

"Oh but you must Hermione, you asked for it." He snarled. "You simply cannot stop now…"

"No, I don't want to see anymore!" She backed into a tree, her hands flat against the rough bark of it. He followed her movements to keep a small gap between them.

"It is not a matter of choice anymore, Miss Granger." He said coolly as his hands rose to her temples against her protests, and the world melted away for the last time.

Their world built up around them, only a few shades brighter than the sheer darkness that had previously enveloped them. Hermione stood on a country lane in the middle of a silent countryside. The lane was glistening with frost that reflected the cloud covered moon light, leading up to a small country house, dark in the moon's shadow save a single window from which the obvious dance of a roaring fire shone out from behind the thick curtains. A small group of death eaters were approaching. She followed them as they unlocked the door and crept inside, dark robes billowing around them. She watched as they set about disarming and torturing the family inside, the cries and vein attempts of escape something that she knew that she would never forget. She closed her eyes, her hands covering them in case they should open by accident. Until everything went unnaturally quiet, as much as it could given the circumstance. She let her fingers part and her eyes flicker open to see Lucius and Severus stood looking at one another.

"The Dark Lord knows that it your birthday, Snape. He wanted to get you a present. And what a better present than this for you!"

"The Dark Lord certainly knows how to please me, Lucius!" He laughed, pointing at the family that were bound by ropes and forced to sit on the floor. The husband, no older than 45, shouting obscenities at the intruders through the gag around his mouth, the wife, a slender woman of about 40, crying silently, trying desperately to break her bonds, her muffled voice trying to reassure her two children, a boy and a girl. The boy of about 17, his eyes searching for something, some way out, his mind working at a plan of escape, and the girl of barely 16, tears falling down her face, a small cut above her right eye slowly dribbling down her tear stained face.

"Tell him Malfoy!" An unknown member said to Lucius.

"Tell me what?" Severus said, slightly puzzled.

"Severus, the Dark Lord wishes to give you an extra special gift. I personally advised it for you, as I knew that you would enjoy it immensely." He flicked his wand and the gag from the young girl's mouth was gone, the sound of her crying now more prominent. Another swift movement and she was brought forward, hands still tied and on her knees, before Severus.

"You… you don't possibly mean…"

"Oh yes Severus. An extraordinary gift, wouldn't you say?" A quick flick again and a few items of her clothes were removed. The father and brother, screaming in protest into their gags, trying desperately to save her. Her bra and knickers were all that remained, her slender body frozen in fear as she felt the eyes of the other death eaters look greedily at her. Severus merely stood, numb, mouth slightly open in shook at what he was been asked to do. He had made it clear that he had never wanted to do that, he respected women too much (though he would never admit that); he could never take anyone against their will… He couldn't possibly… He refused to do everything that his father had…

"What a perfect specimen of a female…" Lucius began. "Perfect body, pert, full breasts, the most deliciously shaped mouth… and oh look… the most dazzling emerald green eyes I have ever seen…"

Dazzling green eyes.

A sudden flash of the newspaper, the feeling of when he had found out about his father's activates, knowing what he had done, and those eyes….

Goddamn you to Hell Lucius.

You chose this family, this girl. You were the only person who knew about that, the only one who knew that I could never hurt a girl with green eyes if I looked at them. You knew this; you chose this family because you knew that I wouldn't be able to do it. So that I would disgrace myself in front of the dark Lord, so that you could become his favourite…"

"You can thank me later, Severus." Lucius whispered in his ear as he slowly walked to stand with the others, leaving Severus in front with the girl by his knees.

"I want you all to leave."

"Oh no, Severus. Please, we want to hear her scream."

"Then you can from outside."

"We want to know that it is real…"

Severus looked down at the young girl before him. She was barely 16, her mousey brown hair tied messily in a ponytail though strands had escaped and now fell down the side of her face. Her creamy white skin was free from scars, not marked in any way, untouched by anyone before. Her deep green eyes flashed with nothing but true fear as he knelt down in front of her, her back straight, trying to make herself taller, less afraid, but he was a lot taller, broader than she was. She whimpered quietly, trying to obey her orders to be silent. His face softened as he heard her almost silent plea, please don't hurt me, I beg of you. She looked up at him as she spoke, those green eyes boring into his own, trying hard to keep calm as she pleaded with him to let her family go, take her but let them go. A cold voice snapped him back from the forest within her eyes.

"My dear, he will take you, whether you like it or not. You and you're family will die anyway, but not just yet."

She continued to look at him, and he at her. She noticed the subtle change in his face as he masked his pain with difference, and she managed just in time to brace herself before he roughly pushed her down, forcing her to the floor. He pushed her legs open with his knees and knelt between them, unzipping his trousers, trying to block out her desperate cries, a cry like no other that he had ever heard. He pulled her knickers to her knees, revealing the soft honey curls that hid her from his view. He had to battle with his stomach to keep himself from vomiting as he pulled his manhood out, the cries and muffled screams of the family growing louder, the smirks and laughs from the death eaters becoming more apparent, and the fear that he saw within that poor girl's eyes and the realisation of how cruel the world could be was nothing compared to her screams of pain as he took her innocence, physically and psychologically.

Towards the end he had to force her head to the side away from him so that she couldn't look at him. The other's cheered him on, their chants matching his rhythm. He thought that he couldn't possible derive pleasure from this, he would never be able to finish… But nothing but pain and utter disgust could be heard from his sob as he emptied himself inside her…

The rest of the memory was a blur. Nothing but raw disgust and self hatred floated around in the mist of grey that was the memory. He roughly pushed Malfoy out of the way as he left, was subjected to intense pain she they stood before Voldemort… then a blur again… His skin red raw and in some patches bleeding from where he had scrubbed himself in the almost burning hot shower so intensely as he sobbed to himself… Stumbling to his old school and begging to see the Headmaster, entering the office as he poured his sins to his old school teacher Albus Dumbledore, confessing the world to him as he swore that he would never do such a thing again, promising never to go back to the old ways…

The world melted into darkness again, and rebuilt itself back in the forest. Severus's hands were still by Hermione's head. He knew that she would be crying, he had heard her in his memory.

"You sick, sick man! You freak, perverted, vile, disgusting creature…." She began.

"Yes I know, there is nothing that you can say that I don't already know that I am" he sighed. He looked up at her tear stricken face, lowering his hands to touch it gently.

"Don't you dare touch me! Don't you dare!" She shouted. "So that's why! That's why you pushed me out! You sick pervert, you didn't know if you could contain yourself with me!"

"I would never have raped you, Hermione. However, I did not want to take another's innocence…" She noticed how he flinched slightly at the word raped.

"How could you? How could you…. That poor girl... her family…"

"I didn't exactly have a choice."

"There is always a choice! How could you… You shouldn't have! You should have said no!"

"They would have killed me!"

"Then you should have let them, you're worth nothing more!" There was a shocked pause as silence fell between them."

She was silent. Undecided. She knew that he didn't want to do it. She could see the pain in his eyes. She knew that he truly hated himself. Could she hate him too? Was he really a different man now? She looked up at him, knowing that he was looking down at her. He had just shown her everything. All because she had asked him to. He had shown her his torments, his demons. And yet that cool mask of nothingness was back.

"So now you know. You wanted answers and I gave them you. So what will this be? The unraveling of the complex Potions Professor? Another snippet of information to add to your vast library of information that you undoubtedly have inside your head? "

"Don't be like…"

"So what do you think of me now? I saw you flinch more than one occasion. Will you still be there for me? If I were to kiss you now, would you kiss me back as passionately as you did last night? Or would you draw back in fear, knowing now what evil has passed through these lips? Would you still be willing to give me your body, knowing how I had taken those before you? Will you look in my eyes and feel pity, curiosity? Or fear? Do I sicken you? Do I frighten you?"

She paused. Did he sicken her? Did he make her afraid? Had he changed from the man that he was? Was he someone else, a new man fighting his demons? Or did he just truly sicken her? Frighten her?

"Do I frighten you?"

A pause.

"No."

"Well I should. You have seen the man that I am."

"No. I have seen the man that you were…"

"Are you happy with what you have seen? The weakness of the great, unbreakable Potions professor? Well, now you know. You alone know my motivations, my fears, my past."

"Yes! I know your past! That was the man that you were not the man that you are now!" She took a few steps towards him and lifted his head gently so that he was looking at her.

"Why are you still here? How can you stand to even be near me?" He asked, his voice uncharactiscally quiet and uncertain.

"Because I like the man that you are now. And I want to get to know him better. We all have demons in our past, some more than others. But you can't let them control your life. You are a different person now to what you where back then." His voice was shaky as he took in a deep breath.

"How can you bare to touch me?" He whispered. She sighed, holding the side of his face.

"I can forgive you for showing me what you did. I can even forgive you for doing those things. But can you forgive yourself?"

His black eyes searched hers, as if he was looking for an answer. A question he had never been asked before, and he didn't know what to say. His brow was creased in the same way it would be if he were to cry, his eyes searching for something, anything to take the pain away.

"No." He whispered simply.

Hermione suddenly had the most overwhelming urge to cuddle the man stood before her. He was so vulnerable, so afraid of himself… she had never imagined that she would see him like this. She through her arms around his neck, putting her head into his chest as she hugged him tightly. After a few moments he wrapped his own arms around her small waist, holding her closely, his face buried in her mass of brown curls. From a distance, anyone would think that he was crying. And for a moment, Hermione swore that she felt a single damp strand of hair where his eyes had been.

**Ok,I know, nasty Sevvie, BUT HE WASYOUNG! WE CAN'T HELP THAT! And I know that he seems likea bit OOC, But i think that he is battling his demons, and at the end of the day people, he is human just like the rest of us! His indifference to lifeis just a way to stop the painof his true emotion! I know, I am talking bullshit now... but just smile sweetly and nod your heads.**

**Here are the replies to all my lovely reviewers!**

**BabyRith15- I'm glad that you think it's real. Thanks!**

**Misty Eyed Pixie- (Great name by the way!) I know, he's been through a lot...**

**The Fideal- --blushes-- Thank you! I alway thought Severus would have a dark past. But Gerry is tasty, I mean, in the Phantom of the Opera... That voice... that intensity... my god I need to sit down...**

**Angelic Bladez- Gob smacked? Wow! Thanks! The good stuff will be coming, but I have to get this stuff out of the way, you know how it is!**

**I LOVE FRED WEASLEY- LOL, cheers!**

**bebla- I chuckled at your review, "a whole new can of worms?" Brilliant! I am gonna try to quote that in this fic somewhere!**

**LovelyLene- I have come back to it after a lot of time off... I've haven't really agreed on a lot of people's views of Severus's past, I know that it's open to interpretation, and I aint saying that I am right, i'm just saying that a lot of it I don't agree with... if you know what I mean..**

**Fairy of Fire and Fury- Thank you! Sorry that this wasn't as long, I will get the rest longer, I swear!**

**Rouge- Wow. Thanks! The changing POV is a personal thing, some people like it, some don't, what can I say! I don't know if you'll like this chappie though, I mean Sevvie is a bit off... but it shows a different side of his character that I think he definitly has, fighting his past and all that, which is why it's easier not to have emotion at all... erm... did that make sense? Just ignore me!**

**ss-slythrin- You came from where? But thanks!**

**rat-gal2000- Aw! No tears please! --hands over the tissues--**

**Snaoe-is-da-bomb- I'm happy that you like my ideas... but you should really eat or sleep or something... you know?**

**screwtheperfectlife- Eventually... they might be...**

**ffg- ALL GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT!**

**SmeagulTheWeasul- God I love cookie Dough... I ate like a whole roll of the sugar one to myself when I was in the US last.. --ahem-- Thank you!**

**daffodildragon- Oreos are good. Thank you!**

**Joani- I love these reviews! Glad you liked it, thanks!**

**Chrissy92- Thank you! I am so happy that people can see these things happening and that it fits Snape!**

**Mr Rusty Ryan- What, can't I see your body anymore? And my Kote Men was just terrible... I mean Keith's do was wide open... cherry brandy and me don't go well together...**

**icerelief2004- wow, wow, WOOOOOOOW... I cannot be comapre to JK. Not even in the same league, hell it aint event he same sport! Thank you, it was a very touching review. It honestly was.**

**Leah- Thanks!**

**Kathryn Isabella- What a fabulous name!Thank so much!**

**Akasha Ravensong- Thank you! Here it is for you!**

**Anarane Anwamane- Thanks!**

**Tiny Toni- Your RILLY happy? Wow! lol, thanks!**

**Lady Darcy- OH YES HOW MUCH DID GOBELT OF FIRE ROCK? it was ace, I mean... --ahem-- please dont get me started... Thank you!**

**HaloGen182- Loved the review. POTO is ace. That is such a cool thing to say that you've done! I;m wanting to down down next year for my 18th and watch the show!**

**Murphyangel-Thank you! I love it when people use the word intense!**

**superspunky7- Wow. Thanks! I don't know what to say... GODDAMN YOU'VE MADE ME SPEECHLESS!**

**JameseMalfoy- Erm, thanks? lol!**


	27. Innocence With A Dash Of Sin!

In The Darkness

**Sorry for not updating! Explantation at the bottom! I won't prolong the wait!**

Chapter 27

Days passed in a blur for Hermione after that night. Just as she has expected, once they had left the comfort of each other's arms he had stiffened again, realising the potentially fatal mistake that he had made by showing her his entire soul. A vice like grip had taken a hold of Severus once again, making him colder and more distant than ever before. He barely looked at Hermione now, didn't speak to her unless absolutely necessary. If she was doing anything wrong, he would tell someone else off instead of her. He would walk right past her when she had her hand in the air in class, asking him for help. If she bumped into his (which he now made sure would never happen) he would simply carry on walking as though no-one's bag had been knocked to the floor due to the force of their collision. Harry and Ron though that it was great. Snape didn't look in their direction anymore, which meant that they got away with a lot more too. They had failed to notice Hermione's slow decline, their blissful ignorance to her inner pain.

Hermione's mind was driving her crazy.

She could not stop thinking about him. All the time. She dreamt about him. Some nights she would wake up sweating, breathing erratic as she tried to push him off her, her family watching as he forced her to the floor, Lucius and the rest of them smiling down at her with those smug grins, the weight of him on top of her crushing her tiny frame. Sometimes she would whisper softly in his ear, telling him that she forgave him for everything that he had done as she held him protectively as he bore his beautiful soul to her again and again. Other nights she would curl up next to him, her fingers curling in his raven hair as he told her that everything would be alright, that the war was over and that no matter what had happened that he would never hurt her, that he would always love her…

In her waking thoughts as she sat in the classroom, every unexpected noise could be him walking in with the other Death Eater, could be him rushing in to tell her that he needed her, he wanted her, or could just be him peeking through the window, flashing her a smile that would make her knees go weak. She constantly glanced up at him wherever they were, to see if she could get his attention, to see if he was looking at her for even a moment. He never did.

"Hermione? Hey, Hermione?"

"Hm? What?"

"Oh my god, she is alive after all!" Ron shouted, causing half of the first and second years glance over in his direction.

"We've been talking to you for the past 5 minutes and you haven't been listening at all!" Ginny exclaimed.

"Oh, sure I have…" Hermione started.

"Oh yeah? How many points did I score in yesterday's match then? We were only talking about it 30 seconds ago." Ginny asked, folding her arms over her chest.

"Erm… I think it was… Oh I don't know, I never listen when you guys talk about Quidditch!" Hermione started defensively.

"See. You don't know. You haven't been listening at all!" Ron said smugly.

"Oh so what if I don't listen to ever single one of your conversations with every ounce of my being! I have other things to think about, more important than whether or not the nose dive that whoever made was legal or not in yesterdays match!" Everyone stared at her.

"Woo, erm, ok Hermione, chill out, we were just proving a point…"

"Then let me prove a point Ronald. You never listen or watch me, because if you did you would have noticed that something isn't just quite right with me, and you have cared to ask me if I am alright! Now if you excuse me, this conversation is boring me!" And with that, she gathered her things into her bag and marched out of the hall, leaving her dinner untouched.

She had heard Ginny follow her out. She knew that she would eventually catch up with her, and when she did, she would confess everything. Which is why she was walking so fast.

"Hermione!" She heard Ginny call after her. "Hermione!" Ginny appeared by her side, slightly out of breath. "What, what the hell was that about!"

"I'm tired Ginny! I'm tired of everyone! I'm sick to death of all of it!" She said as she carried on walking.

"Tired of what? Hermione, please… Hermione wait!" Ginny grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop. "What is this all about? We all know that there's something wrong. No-one has asked you what because you are so distant all the time, so unapproachable."

"I… I'm just so sick of it all…" It was then that Ginny heard the wavering in Hermione's voice, noticed the tears that had filled her eyes.

"Come on, let's go somewhere quiet…" Ginny said.

Ginny took Hermione to the girl's dorms, knowing that at this time it would be empty. Hermione cried for what seemed like an eternity, sobbing her heart out to one of her closest friends. She told her everything, from the very beginning, not stopping to listen to the small gasps that had came from Ginny at certain parts of the long tale. Sat on the end of her bed with a box of tissues, she wiped her eyes tenderly for the hundredth time.

"And I'm just so sick of being invisible to everyone. To all my friends, they have barely noticed that I am so… depressed… to all the teachers… none of them have asked me if I'm feeling ok… and him… why am I so easy to block out? So easy to just cast aside?"

"Hermione, you're not…"

"Yes I am! He showed me everything in the forest Ginny. Everything. I mean, he showed me the reason why he swapped sides for crying out loud… he let me see his darkest demons, passing them on to me, then he just ignores that it ever happened? Ignores me completely, doesn't care about me at all or what I'm going through? I wake up at night thinking that he is in my room and that he's going to rape me or something! I've kissed that man! He's comforted me, made me feel… gosh I don't know what! And he finds it so easy to just ignore me, forget about me completely!"

"Hermione, have you ever thought that he doesn't find it easy to forget you? That in actual fact he hasn't forgotten about you at all?"

"Have you seen the way that he walked right into me, and didn't even stop to knock off points?"

"No, actually, I haven't. But what I mean is, maybe he can't stop thinking about you, in the same way that you think about him. Maybe the way he chooses to deal with his feelings is to ignore them completely. I mean, lets face it, he's not exactly the most emotional man…"

"He can be!"

"Alright, but what I'm trying to say is that he has problems telling people how he feels. Maybe he can't let himself speak to you because if he does he will only confess how he truly feels. Maybe he won't look at you because he thinks that you will read him like you did before… and maybe he doesn't touch you because one touch would not be enough for him."

Hermione began to grin.

"Ginny, I must congratulate you on your beautiful poetry skills. Simply divine darling!"

"Hermione shut up you Muppet! Have you ever considered it from that point of view?"

"What that one touch might not be enough for him?"

"Yes! I mean how do you know… Ew! Hermione, don't look at me like that, that's gross!" They began chuckling together.

"Oh Ginny, what can I do?"

"Well, I have an idea, but you won't like it…"

"Ginny, at this point, your idea could be to throw myself out of a very high window, and believe me; I could take to it swimmingly…"

"Well, have you ever thought of talking to him about it…?"

"Of course I have! But he won't let me near him… he won't speak to me!"

"What about when you're not actually his student…"

"You mean, when I leave? That's a bit far off isn't it…?"

"No you twit! I meant when you're not actually in his class with him… maybe at a time when it's a bit more personal…"

"You mean…."

"Exactly. And maybe you could sing again…. That seemed to get him last time right?"

"Oh I don't think so Ginny, I haven't sung since…"

"Well, ok then. But what about a little midnight visit?"

"I don't know…"

"Come on, what's the worst that he's going to do, give you detentions?"

"Do you not remember what I told you before?"

"Herm, he said himself that he would never rape anyone again." Hermione looked away, considering everything. "Hermione, from what you have said, it is obvious that he likes you a lot. Please, go and try this for me. If it goes pear shaped… well then I will personally brew a killing potion and we will drink it together!" They laughed as Ginny pulled her friend into a hug as Hermione considered what she would do.

"Just one thing. Is he a good kisser?"

"Ginny!"

"No, please, come on! Is he?"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Yes. Very good."

"OH! I never would have thought it? How big is his…?"

"OHHOO! Ok, that's enough!"

"Hermione, you know if you sleep with him, you will have to tell me everything?"

"Yeah. I know. You're not freaked out about me… you know… liking Snape then?"

"No. If you like him, go for it. But, I advise that you don't tell many other people though…"

"And I will advise you the same, or else you won't be able to brew any killing potion, however much you will want too…"

"Oh! The naughty side of Hermione Granger! I see why he likes you! Innocence with a dash of sin! He's rubbing off on you already!"

That night, Hermione crept out of her dorm at 12:30, down the long flight of moving stairs, and silently made her way to the dungeons.

Severus stood in his private stores cupboard, his black shirt undone a few buttons, sleeves rolled up his arms as he reached up to put the powered mustirad in it's space on the top shelf. He had been sorting out his stores for the past two hours, cleaning everything furiously by hand, sorting all the different ingredients out, writing down what he needed more of and how badly, then resorting them all out in order of rareness, the rare ones hiding on the tops shelves. Sweat had dripped off him at one point, causing him to throw his cloak to one side, and even open his shirt a little. The sheer amount of dust had caused his sleeves to roll up. The balanced the jar on the top shelf, climbing back down the ladder to get a few of the other jars. As he got back on the ladder and past the third step, he heard the tiny rapping on his classroom door.

"Bloody kids, I will give them detentions for a month if they are trying to annoy me!" He thought to himself as he climbed back down and placed the three jars he was carrying on a lower shelf. The tiny rap came again as he walked towards his door. He took a breath as his hand touched the doorknob, swinging the heavy oak door open to reveal the person stood on the other side.

He froze as he saw her stood there, and before he could close the door on her face she has snook in past him, walking quickly into the middle of the classroom. He quickly regained himself as she stood with her back to him

"What are you doing, Miss Granger…" His voice deadly low and dangerous. She had caught him off guard.

"Please, don't send me away…" Came a small voice.

"Miss Granger, you are out way after the curfew, you are disturbing a member of staff… please leave now…"

"Please, Professor I beg you, don't make me leave…"

"If you do not leave I will be forced to make the headmaster aware of this little visit." She did not move. "Very well." He began to walk towards the office door where there was a fire place. She glanced over her shoulder and saw him making his way towards the open door. A small cry of "No" escaped her lips as she ran over to stop him, grabbing his arm. He spun his head around and looked down at her as if she might be contaminated with something.

"Please, please don't call the Headmaster…"

"Then let go of me and leave at once."

"I will not!"

He pulled away from her grip to continue walking, but she grabbed him again.

"Please, please Professor I beg you…"

"You beg me for what?"

"To let me stay! To listen to me! To talk to me!"

"I have nothing that I want to say to you, Miss Granger, now be so kind as to follow me up to the Headmaster's office." He flipped his wrist so that it was now him holding her tiny wrist in his hand, holding her arm up in a tight grip as he began to drag her towards the open classroom door.

"No, please, just listen to me…" He said nothing. "Ouch, stop… professor please… Severus you're hurting me!"

Suddenly he stopped, and spun around, still holding her arm, glaring at her. "I beg your pardon?"

"You're hurting me… please… let go…" He suddenly let go of her wrist and stood by the open door.

"Please leave."

"Why are you being like this?"

"I would like you to leave."

"Severus…"

"Don't you call me that!"

"Why not? You let me before…"

"Leave! Now!"

"I will not! Not until you talk to me!"

"I am talking to you. Leave. Now."

"Please! Why…"

"Get out…"

"No!" With this he turned to her, grabbing her roughly and dragged her to the door, throwing her out of his classroom, not caring to look where he had thrown her as he closed the door.

He heard her form land heavily on the floor as he closed the door. He leaned against, trying to ignore her quiet whimpers from just outside the door. How could he… again…

This could not go on any longer…

The door flew open. Hermione looked up to see him stood there in the door way, looking down at her. She could tell that he was battling some conflicting emotions within him. After a few moments he walked out and pulled her to her feet. He then walked back to the door, turning to see her as he did.

"Come in." Was all he said. She wiped the few stray tears away and followed him inside through the door.

**OH MY GOD I am sooooooo sorry that I haven't updated for a while! I have had such a bad case of writer's block! But I have this extra long chapter for all of my lovely readers, and I have one nearly finished that you will get sometime tomorrow! After that it will be Wednesday/Thursday night when I next update because I am out for the next few days... but believe me you will love the next few chapters!**


	28. Please Stay

In the Darkness

**Thats right, no hint nor preview... it's been long enough as it is... straight into it...**

Chapter 28

The door closed behind her as she turned quickly to see the man leaning against the now closed door. They stood, looking at each other for a few moments, before he looked away. He took a breath and looked back at her.

"I didn't mean to… push you… so hard… I'm sorry…" He began. Hermione didn't say anything. "I have more explaining to do, don't I?" He asked himself out loud.

"Yes." She replied. "You do."

He sighed. He walked through to his private chambers, offering her a seat on the sofa as he poured himself a glass of something. He took a big gulp of it before pouring some more and sitting on the chair opposite her. They sat in silence for a few moments; he just sat, looking into the depths of the golden liquid that he sloshed around slightly in his glass.

"I, I don't know what to say… or where to begin…"

"Well I'll give you a starting point. How about answering why you've been completely ignoring me for the past 5 days?"

"I, I don't know. I didn't know what else to do." Still he stared into his glass.

"Talk to me, acknowledge me, not to make me feel invisible, that would have been an option."

"You're the first person I have ever let see anything like that, save the Headmaster. I, I thought that you would hate me."

"I told you before that I didn't hate you."

"I know… but how could I believe you?"

"You didn't trust me?"

"No… I did... But I didn't…"

"I think that the fact the whole school doesn't know what I know about you must count for something in the matter of your trust in me."

"It does. I've been a fool. I can't explain my actions. I know that they were wrong. I am sorry."

"Do you know what you have put me through for the past five days? Have you any idea?"

"I'm sure I have a minor comprehension…"

"I don't think that you do! I have thought of nothing but you! I can't get you out of my head! I've been going insane! I've felt emotions that I didn't know that I could feel all because of you!" He looked up at her. "Do you know what it is like to feel invisible? For someone who you care about to make you feel worthless, nothing, just completely invisible?" Severus's thoughts dashed back to his younger years for a moment.

"Yes."

"Then why would you want to inflict that pain on me?"

"I'm sorry…"

"Sorry isn't good enough! I want to know what's going on!"

"I don't know Miss Granger!" He said, looking away. He did know, but he wasn't going to tell her.

"Oh, oh so we're back to Miss Granger are we?"

"What?"

"We're back to 'Miss Granger' right? A strict student teacher relationship, nothing more?"

"Hermione, I…"

"QUIT FUCKING WITH MY HEAD!"

The shout echoed throughout the dungeons, bouncing off the walls over and over as if to remind Severus of the pure pain that coursed through her voice. Her hands lay palms down on the sofa from where she had slammed them down in anger

"What am I to you? Hm? An experiment? An ideal? Just someone to mess around with? Why are you doing this to me? You've shown me things that I never knew where even possible, made me feel things that I've never known! I glance behind me every few minutes to make sure that no-one is creeping up behind me, hide my wand under my pillow at night in case someone tries to come in and attack me, all because of the things that YOU have shown me! You've shown me the every worst of the world, and left me to deal with it alone! You crawl inside my head so that my thoughts are of nothing but you, you show me the very worst of you and I accept you, I still don't judge you, try to show you that there is good in the world, yet you still hurt me by treating me like dirt and throw me around, make my mind go crazy with thoughts of you, then you don't care to explain yourself! I've had enough professor!" She stood and began to walk away, back towards the door.

"W, where are you going?"

"I'm going back to my dorm, _PROFESSOR_, I don't need this shit anymore."

"Wait…" He was up and striding after her

"No, because it seems that you enjoy nothing more than to cause me physical and mental pain!"

"That is not true!"

"I believe that it is. Good night Professor!" She made for the door.

"No, wait…!" The alcohol in him fuelled him as he shot forwards towards her, one hand pushing the door shut, the other wrapping itself around her neck as his lips touched hers. Hermione was so shocked that she could do nothing but stand there. He let his hand drop to her shoulders, the other to her waist as he dragged his lips away from hers, his eyes still closed as he spoke.

"Please, don't leave, I am sorry, I truly am, but can you not see?" He opened his eyes to look at her. "How could I have noticed you? If I were to look at you I would do nothing but stare. If I were to speak to you it would only be to tell you how much I have been thinking about you, if I were to touch you it would only be to claim what I want to be mine, which I have no right to want! And how could I have let you speak to me when I know that the only words that will pass those lips will be ones of hate and anger towards me? It would have killed me. How could I have let that happen? If I cannot have something entirely I remove myself from the temptation… Please stay Hermione…"

Hermione froze. She knew that this is how he had felt for a long time, but the alcohol had helped him say it to her. She could smell traces of it on his breath, taste in on her lips…

Severus stood before her, desperate as to what she would say next, he could see her mulling everything over in her mind, yet her answer came almost instantly.

"But you can have me entirely." She said simply, looking back up at him.  
Severus just looked at her, astonished. Had she just said that? Or had he imagined it? Was his mind so tormented by her that he had begun to hear the words he wanted her to say in his head?

"Hermione, I can't…"

"Would you ever hurt me?" He looked at her deeply.

"Never."

"Would you ever take what I was not willing to give?"

"My god, never."

"Then why can't you?"

"I… I don't know what to say…"

"Then don't say anything. You've said exactly what I needed to hear." He just looked at her, puzzlement written across his features. She smiled a faint smile. "Kiss me." His eyes widened just slightly as he took her lips with such force that it nearly made Hermione gasp. They were so close, Hermione trapped between the door and the man pressing down on her small frame that it almost hurt. Eventually they had to breathe.

"Hermione I want you… I want you so badly…" She smirked.

"Believe me I'm not exactly trying to fight you off me…"

"No Hermione. I mean I want you." She looked confused. "I want you entirely. I want everything that you are, and all that you will become. I want everything."

"Severus, I…"

"I will ask for nothing more from you. But I must have you completely. If I cannot have that, then you must leave now."

"I..I…"

"It is a lot to give. I will give you a few days to consider it if you wish." He wished that she would consider it, because her answer right now would surely be no. He pulled himself away from her and walked back into his private chambers, and stood in his living room.

What the hell had he done? She would have left by now, running away back to her friends to tell them all about what he had said, about his true weakness… Foolish old man! What the hell were you thinking! Tomorrow you will be the laughing stock of the school, confessing you're undying love for a student…

A small click of the door closing behind him broke him from his thoughts as he spun around.

"You still don't trust me? Your hands are curling into fists by your sides." He stood, gob smacked that she was there. She walked over to him slowly and stood in front of him. "You still don't trust me?"

"I am such an idiot… I almost let you go…" He whispered against her lips just before they kissed again.

**Ok, I am not even gonna start with how sorry I am for not writing... I don't even have any excuses...**

**OK, BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT OUR SEVVIEKINS BEEN OOC, I would just like to say that I think that Severus and the Phantom from POTO are very similar. As characters I think that they feel the same kind of pain and solice. So the Phantom can realise love, as can Severus. Phmf!**

**Ok, replies!**

**ConciaJames- A little bit of romance for you maybe?**

**screwtheperfectlife- Love the name! Sorry!**

**Amelie D- Yeah, Ginny is ace!**

**Virgo Animus- Ok, Thanks for the long review! I love em! As for what is really going on with him... hm I have a loada theories, but I don't have aol. I got MSN, mail me if you want it and we can chat... am gonna take a gander at some of your writings, if ya dont mind! xx**

**Mirlanthiriel- Erm, sorry! I know it took a while... blush**

**I Love Nerds 919- The peanut dance? Man I would love to see that!**

**ardsmair- Thanks!**

**LoonLoopyWerewolf- Man, where do you think of these names? Ok, there wont be any more cliffies, I will try!**

**actinggirl93- Hehe, cliffies rule when you're the writer! However as a reader I hate them!**

**musicangl07- Thank you! Yay!**

**superspunky7- Thank you! I'm really honoured that this is the only one that you read! Thank you!**

**Katie and Rosabella- LOL, Your grammer wasn't bad! I'm sure that mine is a lot worse! Am sorry, hope that this answers a few questions!**

**icerelief2004- I guess that i've not been forgiven then huh?**

**Inu-yasha-luver-gurl- HEY! Lucius doesn't suck! He's fairly attractive and a true bad boy! He makes a brilliant bady! Please, take deep breaths, try to calm yourself... thank you though! I love your reviews**

**triss33- Thank you! I hope that you like this one!**

**Mr Rusty Ryan- Dude, Leng! Get out of my head! puckers mouth, makes a strange smacking noise AM GONNA TELL EVIE'S MOM NOW! I mean it's cute... but it's not right... honestly I go to the gym every day for an hour...**

**bassclarinetgirlandtheyrock- LOL! Your name was a behatch to type! Thamk you my love!**

**Akasha Ravensong- Thank you! 6 WEEK OLD? Mind you, he/she won't be that young by now... opps, guess it has been a while since I've updated...**

**MAN! I am so sorry, but I can't reply to everyone, I am tired and need to sleep... SORRY! I LOVE YOU!**


	29. You

In The Darkness

**OK here is a long chappie for you all because I have been terrible at updating! Enjoy!**

Chapter 29

That evening they had talked until the early hours, the few lapses in conversation filled with kisses, some soft and sensual, calming and loving, others passionate and lustful, where hands had roamed, stroked and back again. Eventually she had fallen asleep in his arms on the sofa where they had been sitting all night, her head fitting perfectly against his shoulder. He in turn had placed his chin atop of her mass of curls, marvelling at how his chin sat exactly on her head, and nothing felt out of place. He had closed his eyes slowly and fell asleep to her soft rhythm tic breathing.

Morning had woken them up with the twerping of birds and sounds that dawn brings. Neck feeling stiff, Hermione had tried to lift her head only to feel the weight of Severus's head atop of hers. She relaxed again, revelling for a few moments in the perfect stillness between them, listening to the soft beating of his heart. She didn't know what he would be like when he awoke, would he be angry? Cold, distant? He was neither. He too had awoken just after she, but didn't want to move away from the body laid against him. Lazily he lifted his head when he had felt her move underneath him, but not wanting to wake him. She had looked up at him with sleepy, hesitant eyes, not knowing what to expect as a reaction from him. He smiled and lowered his head to kiss her lips gently He had put his head back on top of hers and mumbled into her soft hair "Good morning.", the low grumble of his deep voice vibrating through his body which she could feel. He could smell her delicate scents, breathing it in deeply, letting it intoxicate him, the soft smell of pine needles painting a vivid picture of a dense summer wood just after the rain. He took another breath, not wanting to consider having to wake another day after this without that smell right next to him. They had stayed still together for a few more moments before moving to leave. Neither one spoke, there was no need. Looks said all that was required, lips tasted what words would have meant, and far sooner than either of them would have liked, they had to leave each other, and act as if nothing had ever happened between them.

Days had passed since their argument, and they had not been able to spend time together since. Ginny had said nothing, but had thrown knowing smirks at Hermione when she had heard that Hermione had not gone back to her dorm that night. Harry and Ron had been concerned, yet oblivious to her new found happiness.

They had to pretend like nothing had ever happened, and in fact nothing was ever said or done. No-one had a clue. Everything went on just like normal. No-one noticed the fleeting glances in classes, or that hands would touch just slightly, or that she would smirk for absolutely no reason other than she could feel him watching her, making up excuses to hear him to talk to her. She did the same of course, asking questions to which she already knew the answer just so that he had a reason to look and speak to her. Looks lasted just longer than they should, yet no-one noticed. No-one noticed anything. Everything was just normal.

Of course, they both had to make excuses to see each other. She told her friends that she was going to see Dumbledore about her future at Hogwarts and that she was worrying about the upcoming Exams which no-one doubted. She would be in the "library" for hours at a time, having to leave Severus's arms at the time when she knew that the library would be closing so that no-one would get suspicious. They would walk together if they were on corridor duty, and if anyone asked they had just bumped into each other. In turn he would need to leave the Great Hall and he didn't need a reason. He wouldn't turn up for breakfast and no-one would ask why not. She was becoming increasingly later for breakfast of course, creeping down to the dungeons first thing. It went on like this for 2 weeks.

It was on that Monday evening that Hermione announced that she was going down to ask Snape for help with her school work, a complex potion in which she didn't understand. No-one questioned her actions, it was a complex potion that nobody in the class had understood, and she was the only person who would ever ask a teacher for help in her own free time, let alone Snape! So at 6:30 she had left the Great Hall following her usual steps to the dungeons, and knocking on the chamber door. He had answered, and that cold hard faced mask had simply melted when he had seen it was her. He let her in and locked the door behind them, just in case anyone would try to get in and catch them in his private rooms together.

As soon as he had closed the door and turned around, she was stood right behind him. He nearly walked into her, but steadied himself just in time. He smiled at her and she back.

"I had to come, I just wanted to be close to you…" she confessed. He smirked.

"I was almost beginning to forget what you felt like myself." He replied, his hand lightly tracing her hips. She leaned forward for the quick but somehow lingering kiss before turning to walk to his private rooms. He followed her, watching her hips sway from side to side as she walked. He closed the door behind him and followed her to the centre of the room where she had turned around to face him. They met in a passionate embrace, kissing each other ferociously. As they came up for air, she spoke.

"Severus…" He loved the way that her tongue curved around his name. "Severus, I actually had an ulterior motive for coming down here tonight…." He let his hands drop to her waist, encircling her as her hands lay on his chest.

"Hm, let me think…" He said. "You want me to help you with your homework?" She chuckled.

"Well, apparently that's what I'm doing…" She'd told Harry that because she knew that when she didn't return until the morning that he would check the map, and then she could just say that she fell asleep in his classroom. But hopefully, if things went the way that she wanted to, as she had planned, they would be sharing his bed by the morning, she certainly would not be going back to her dorm tonight if she got her way!

"… But that isn't why I came down…" She purred.

"Oh, and I had hoped that you were here to enjoy the pleasure of my company." He replied.

"That's exactly why I am here…" She said, a hint of seduction that did not go undetected by Severus laced within her voice. He cocked his eyebrow. She simply smiled back, with a sexy curve to the edge of her mouth. Not knowing her plan he pulled away went over to the dresser, pouring them both a firewhiskey. She couldn't drink as much as he could, and couldn't drink it neat, so he always put a little bit of the Muggle drink lemonade that she had brought with her one night. He passed it to her, noticing that there was something just slightly different about her this evening, she seemed… more… He didn't fully know what, but she seemed a little different…

They sat and talked on the sofa for a while, laughing and joking, and talking about certain types of literature. The small amount of alcohol had given her a certain amount of Dutch courage. It was time to hint to Severus what she wanted.

"Have you ever heard of Shakespeare?" She asked. He laughed

"Of course I have! He is regarded as one of the best Muggle writers of his time!"

"Well have you ever read any of his works?"

"Yes, my mother read A Mid Summer Night's Dream to me when I was young."

"Have you ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?"

"Yes, I'm not sure as to what it is about."

"It's a tragedy."

"Really, is it that bad?" She laughed.

"No Severus you ape! I mean it is tragedy, its genre…."

"Ah, now I understand…"

"It's about two lovers…"

"I'm intrigued already… I beg your pardon but did you just call me an ape?"

"Yes! I did! Because you are one!"

"Yes, well I will remember that for future reference. I was unaware. Thank you for telling me."

"You are more than welcome!"

"Now, tell me about these two lovers…"

"They are two men…." Hermione couldn't help but laugh out loud when she saw Severus's face drop. "I'm joking, it isn't really, it's a man and a woman…"

"Hm yes, I was beginning what kind of a man is called Juliet…"

"Well, it's about two lovers who come from two different families, and the families just so happen to hate each other…"

"Oh, so I assume their love proves to be somewhat difficult…"

"Yes, and it's all about their secret love…"

"Hm, it sounds familiar…"

"Doesn't it just?"

"Do they have to creep around and ignore each other before they get to spend time together?"

"Yes, they even have to pretend that they hate each other…"

"What a coincidence…"

"Isn't it?"

"Why is it a tragedy?"

"Because she kills himself with a knife and he find her dead body and drinks poison."

"Ah. I certainly hope that that does not happen to us."

"Me too. Although it is entirely possible, you can brew poison…"

"Perhaps, but I couldn't give it to you…"

"Then I would make it myself!"

"And the frightening thing is that you probably could…" He said against her lips just before he kissed her. "Do they end up together?"

"Erm, no, they both end up dead."

"I should hope after drinking poison and stabbing yourself one would be dead. I meant did they get to share time together?"

"Hm, a little bit… but I bet they weren't talking about literature when they did get to see each other…" He cocked his eyebrow again, was she hinting….

"And what, prey tell, do you think that they would have been doing, if they were not talking about literature?"

"Doing what men and women do best when together. Drinking tea and eating scones and having polite conversation about each other's families!" He laughed. She loved it when he laughed. It changed his face completely. But she had lost her courage at the very last moment… She so wanted to say what they both knew but she couldn't. She wanted to sleep with him and that was that, she wanted to give herself to him, but knew that he would never ask for it. She would have to do all the work, and it was proving more difficult that she had thought… She had wanted to say straight away what she had wanted, yet again managed to divert the subject and leave him confused. She would not do that again.

He stopped laughing and brought his head back down to look at her. There was something in her eyes that he had not seen before, something strong and passionate… he couldn't place it…

"Why are you staring at me?" She laughed.

"Because you have the most haunting eyes…" He replied.

"What do you see in them?"

"Excuse me?"

"Tell me, what do you see?" He watched her.

"I see everything that I normally see. Kindness, understanding, an unquenchable thirst for knowledge…" She laughed. "And something else…"

"What is it?"

"I don't know, I've never seen it in a woman before…"

"In a woman?"

"Yes. I've seen it before, but only in men."

"What was it?"

"It was… no, no it isn't."

"Tell me, and I will tell you if you are right!"

"It was want… they wanted something badly."

"And what do you think that I could want?"

"I… I have no idea…"

"Think... something that I might possible want…" She bit her bottom lip subconsciously.

"From me."

"Ahuh."

"I don't know…" She uncurled her legs and pulled herself up from the arm of the sofa, crawling on all fours towards him. He was sat with his legs up on the sofa, leaning against the arm rest. She crawled forward, her hand pressing down on the soft material, leaving little imprints as she moved, until she was leaning over him, her body nearly covering his, her arms holding her up. She had been desperate to do this all night. She leaned close towards his ear and purred into it..

"You."

**OH just you wait for the next chappie! You will love me!**


	30. In The Darkness

In the Darkness

**!WARNING !  
This chapter has explict sex scenes in it. Please do not read if you do not like this sort of thing.**

Chapter 30

He had looked at her in disbelief. He could never deign that he wanted her, but he never thought that she would actually ever want to with him! She brought her face back in front of his, looking straight at him.

"Do you want me?"

"More than anything…"

"Do you want my body?" He looked away, almost ashamed to say yes. "Hey," she said, taking his face in her hands and bringing back so that he was looking at her. "Don't you dare be ashamed." She said softly. "Do you want me?" He paused.

"Yes." She looked at him with such intensity and passion that he thought that he wouldn't be able to look at her again. She kissed his lips again before whispering in his ear the words that she knew that he would need to hear. She wasn't making them up or lying when she said them.

"I want to give myself to you Severus Snape. I want you to have me, own me, completely and utterly. I want to belong to you, and no other. I want you to have my mind, my soul AND my body. I'm giving it to you." She whispered as she started to kiss his cheek, letting her lips travel downwards to his neck. She was unable to see that he had his eyes closed, enjoying the sensation of been kissed, and revelling in what she had just said to him. Suddenly his eyes opened, and with such speed and agility he had picked her head up in his hands, sat up and was kissing her with everything that he had, and was matching it. Tongues dancing in an exotic fiery dance, lips moving together, not caring that they may possibly be bruising from the force of the kiss. His hands wound themselves in her hair, feeling the softness of it. Suddenly he tugged her head down, exposing in the creamy skin of her neck that he began to kiss all over. Hermione couldn't help but express a slight "Oh" at the sensation of been forced to move her neck, then the feeling of her neck been kissed caused a soft moan. He brought his face back to hers and kissed her lips again before suddenly pulling away, holding her head in his hands.

He wanted to ask her if she was sure that this was what she wanted. Was she aware of what she was doing, did she know of the beast that she would uncage should she continue this? Did she know that if she did give herself to him, she would become his, and no-one else's? He knew that his eyes exposed all the questions that words couldn't say with all the urgency that sound couldn't express, and she read it fully. She never flinched, never glanced away. Instead she poured everything that she was into his eyes, showing him everything that she was, her hopes, her fears, everything. She wanted him to own her. She wanted to give him everything that she was. And he knew it.

He stood from the sofa and offered her his hand so that she could follow. She took it, noticing how small her hand seemed in his, yet how it seemed to fit just so. She felt him feel the size of her hand in comparison to his own before he gently clutched it, stepping backwards; leading her towards what she could only presume was the bedroom. It seemed to change the mood slightly, in her mind she didn't want it to be planned, she wanted it to be spontaneous and almost in the heat of the moment. But this wasn't a spontaneous feeling. It was different, like a loving, giving, understanding mood. She stopped, and he turned to face her. She looked at him again and looked deep into his eyes, reading him. This wasn't just going to be sex. It wasn't any of the names that they all called it, all those that made it sound like a fun pastime. This seemed seriously. More deeper than they had all described it. Making love. He looked at her intensely and took a step towards her, his angel, and it was him this time that closed the gap and kissed her sweet lips. She felt her knees buckle, but was saved by the strong arms of her Severus Snape. Instead of pulling her towards him, he took her hand gently, leading her into his room again.

A single small candle lit the room, creating a sensual atmosphere. She looked around the room, marvelling at the colours and different textures. She turned back to him just in time to see his eyes follow up the contours of her body back to her face. He looked at her with so much. It felt right. Everything felt right. He brought his hand forward to lightly touch the soft skin of her arm, his fingers just touching so lightly. The other hand touched her other arm, and he let his gaze follow his hands as they slowly ran down her bare arms and over her material covered stomach. He brought his eyes back up to look at her, almost asking for permission as his hands curled underneath the material, softly touching her smooth skin, starting at the waist. He let his fingers curl around the bottom of her t shirt, slowly bringing it up over her chest and eventually, over her head. He waited for her head to show from underneath the t shirt as he pulled it off, gently letting it drop to the floor. He let his eyes graze over the sight in front of him, her skin looked so soft and smooth in the ambient light, the gentle rise and fall of the swell of her breasts from underneath her light pink bra was enchanting, her almost flat stomach was perfect in his eyes, although he knew she wouldn't like the slight extra bit of fat around her belly. Her doe brown eyes looked back into his when he eventually drew his gaze from her perfect form, waiting for him to say something. He merely brought his hand to her side, letting his fingers touch her waist ever so slightly, almost as if he didn't have permission to touch her and murmured "Perfect." In a tone that was barely audible.

Feeling useless, Hermione let her hands touch the centre of Severus's chest, her fingers slowly undoing the buttons on his black shirt. Her eyes left his chest for a moment to look back up at him, to see him looking down at her, an almost nervous, vulnerable expression on his features. She undid the last button, her hands moving underneath his shirt, pushing it up and over his pale shoulders, letting it fall lazily to the floor below him. He stood, waiting for her reaction, uncertain and ready to flinch and move quickly if necessary.

His torso was so pale, not as thin as she had imagined, but slim and surprisingly a little toned, the definition of his stomach muscles just visible. There was no hair, perhaps a little dusting over his shoulders, but that was all. He was pale, and littered with a few even paler faded scars. One across his right collarbone, one across his belly button, one heading diagonally from under his left breast, curving around his side, one that started just above the waist line, and obviously continued over his hidden hips, a large but very faded thick one that was an obvious slash to the stomach, then the smaller ones that were in random places. Her fingers lightly touched a few of them, feeling the slightly raised texture of them. She let her fingers follow the one on his collarbone, her fingers following the trail up to his shoulders, where she found more across his shoulders and top of his back. It felt like something similar to whip marks. She said nothing, though her eyes looked at his with a questioning as to who had done all of these? He looked at her but gave no answer. He looked so vulnerable. She simple lowered her head to lightly kiss the one on his right breast, giving him the sign that she did still want to carry on, and if he didn't want to ever tell her his stories, then she would never ask.

His fingers trailed across her smooth stomach, following the invisible line over her belly button to the waistband of her jeans. His eyes never left hers as his hands gently tugged them slowly down, revealing the top of her also light pink knickers, the small string curved around her hips. His hands moved to her waist where her jeans sat. His hands continued to pull her jeans, unzipping them to make it easier. When they had been removed, he cast them aside and raised himself to look at her perfect form in full. For a few moments he gazed at her, making her wonder what he was thinking. She was a goddess, by mind and body. She was amazing. He couldn't help but lower himself in front of her, bringing his hands around her so that they sat in the small of back as he lowered his head to gently kiss her stomach. He leaned his head against her, resting against her perfect form. She brought her hand up to stroke his head, not been able to see his face. He took a deep breath and looked up at her. She was about to kneel as well but he stopped her, carefully getting up, stroking her amazing soft body. He looked at her again as she let her hands move to the waist of his black pants, undoing the top button and unzipping them, pulling them down as far as she could before he offered his assistance by kicking them off. She smiled as they looked at each other. She wanted to look at him from the waist down, of course she did, but she didn't dare. Eventually she couldn't help but let her gaze stroll downwards, over his black boxers, down his slightly more hairy legs and back up again. As he brought his hand to her face, she noticed the dark mark that was burnt into his forearm. She looked straight back up at him, as he began to lower his hand, obviously ashamed about it. She brought her hand up to intertwine in his fingers, turning his arm over so that she could see it properly. She let her other hand touch it lightly, letting him know that she would never fully understand, but she accepted it.

She pulled him towards the bed, sitting down on it whilst looking up at him. She let go of his hand to move back on the bed, letting him lower himself on his hands and knees and crawl up to her. She began to lay back, so that he could lower himself onto her to kiss her. His hand once again exploring her body, his lips planting soft kisses on her neck, over her collarbone, and back up again. He felt her moan against him as his hands moved down to her breasts, fingers touching that delicious swell in such a way that it caused the most foreign yet brilliant sensations within Hermione, that seemed to set her body on fire, the feelings shooting straight downwards and forming as a fabulous tingling sensation between her legs. He drew his lips away from the kiss and let his hands slowly make their way around her back, letting her know that he wanted to take her bra off, but that she could stop him at any moment. He unhooked her bra, and brought the straps off her shoulders, moving the material away from her. He placed it off the bed and moved his gaze back to her beautiful form. He looked in awe at her small, pert breasts, the way they moved so perfectly. He brought his hands up and covered them, holding them before gently feeling them, moving his thumb over her already positively erect nipples. She gasped with pleasure, a sign for him to carry on. He lowered his mouth to one, taking the dark skin around the nipple in his mouth, his tongue circling it perfectly. Hermione couldn't repress the moans as she felt the tingling grow stronger, she began wrapping her hands in the covers and moving her legs against him. As his mouth moved to the other, he let his hands fondle with the other, causing the most amazing sensations within Hermione. He began kissing her stomach again, then travelled back up to her lips, kissing them passionately.

He lowered himself slightly, leaning on one arm so that the other hand could explore, his rough and calloused hand running down the length of her leg and back up again. He shifted his weight, his hand gently persuading her to open her legs. Hermione paused before replying, convinced that her knickers would now be wet, she almost felt stupid at what he might find, at what he might say or do… but she did all the same, and he gently laid in-between them, both hands now free to touch her gently. She felt the sensation grow stronger as his hand trailed up the inside of her thigh, carefully pulling her knickers down. His eyes never left hers; he was almost waiting for her to tell him to stop. But she never did. Not even when one finger gently slid inside her.

A small gasp and a little "Oh" sound was all he heard as she instinctively pushed herself against his touch, pushing his finger deeper inside her. His caress sent shivers and new sensations through her as he brought his head down to kiss and suck her breasts again.  
Within a short time she couldn't repress her moans as he obviously brought her to her first climax.

She was suddenly blissfully aware of the arousal that was straining against his boxers. She opened her eyes to look at him, and without thinking her hands began to work at them, pulling them down gently. She heard him breath sharply as her hands passed over it. They slid down easily, though it seemed to take for hours, tormenting them both.

Her chocolate brown eyes widened as she felt him pressed hard against her leg. She was a virgin, and he seemed huge, there was no way that he would ever fit in…. there! Should briefly considered telling him, but then she risked him stopping because he didn't want to take her innocence, so decided against it. Would he be able to tell that she was a virgin? His hands rose and intertwined with hers, his weight now on top of her, his chest rising against hers, her legs curved over his calves. He looked at her for a final time, and with no hesitation, he slid himself into her.

Hermione let out a small cry of pain which was louder than she thought. He stopped and looked down at her, that damn unreadable expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" She asked quietly.

"Are you a virgin?" He asked simply and unexpectantly. She didn't know what to say.

"I… I was…" She whispered. He closed his eyes that look of disgust creeping back over his features. "Why, what is it? Please tell me…"

"My God." He whispered. He was going to stop, she knew it.

"No, don't stop!" She pleaded, wrapping her legs around his waist, wincing as she felt him go deeper within her. He opened his eyes, staring at her with confusion. She wrapper her arms around his neck, pulling him back down to her for another kiss. It was only brief, for he pulled away quickly.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I… I cannot take your innocence…" His voice trailed. "Let me go." He said sternly. She said nothing, only raised her hips against his, moving gently against him. He closed his eyes and tried to resist the pleasure that she was giving him, yet he found his hips moving with hers despite his best efforts. She whispered into his ear.

"You're not taking it. I'm giving you it."

He looked into her eyes again, and finally gave in, kissing her deeply.

Their bodies moved together in an awesome rhythm. She had moaned his name as the pain lessened but still didn't fully go, and that alone had almost brought him to climax. He loved the way that he felt inside her, the way that there bodies responded together. He pushed himself deep inside her, hips moving together. He could feel himself growing stiffer and harder with each entangled thrust. He rocked his hips against her, caressing her own swollen nub with his pelvis, knowing he could bring her more pleasure by doing this.

Hermione bucked her hips with his thrusts and could feel that overwhelming warmth building in her again; but this time, it was even more powerful. She wrapped her arms around him, her nails beginning to scratch into his back Severus threw his head back and let out a guttural growl; he arched into her once last time, hard and deep, and felt her vaginal muscles hugging him as she reached her peak. He let go of his orgasm, as his entire body shuddered from the strength of it.

They held each other for what seemed to be a lifetime of pure bliss. Hermione didn't want to ever let him go, however much it had hurt at first she felt so right, being here underneath him, feeling their hearts beating against each other. She kissed his cheek and ran her fingers through his tousled hair.

"Severus, Severus… I think that I love you…" She confessed. He looked at her.

"I know that I love you. I knew it ever since I heard you sing." He said simply back to her. She just looked at him, amazed at what he had just said, feeling him pull himself out of her so that he could lay beside her. She fell asleep a few minutes later, within his arms. He lay there, not believing himself what he had said. He did love her, with everything that he was. Her naked body was wrapped around his own, and for the first time, he fell into a perfectly silent, calm sleep in the darkness.

**Ok, I really wasn't sure about this... I can't exactly write from experience if you get my gist... Please tell me how it was, it's my first ever love scene... thank you!**


	31. Complications

In the Darkness

**Thanks guys for all the reviews, they mean so much to me! Enjoy!**

Chapter 31

Severus awoke early on Tuesday morning, his arm wrapped protectively around the young woman that was laid facing him. She was sleeping soundly; her hair was spread over the pillow wildly in a way that he knew she would hate. He smiled at the thought of her distain knowing that he has seen her like that. Her perfect lips were just parted enough so that her breath could just be heard as it escaped over them and her skin seemed to just glow. She was perfect. His angel. He put his head back down atop of hers and felt her move against his chest as she began to awake. She opened her eyes and saw the expanse of his chest in front of her and smiled. She lifted her head to look at the man before her and grinned as she saw him apparently sleeping. She lifted her whole form to rise up and reach his lips with a little kiss. He couldn't stop himself smiling before he opened his eyes.

"You just couldn't keep your hands off me…" He mumbled into her lips.

"No I could not…" She whispered back. He opened his eyes and looked at her before flipping her back over so that she was underneath him again. "I love the way you look from up there…" She smiled at him.

"Hm, I must say that you look exceptional from this view as well." He said before planting a kiss on her stomach and resting his head there.

"Severus, what time is it?" She asked.

"It is…. 9:02 to be exact…"

"Ah. Just wondering. OH SHITE!" She leapt up, causing Severus's head to be pushed away from her rather sharply. "It's Tuesday! I'm late… we've missed breakfast… I'm supposed to be in Transfiguration…" Hermione rushed around trying desperately to find her clothes. They weren't even her school clothes… she would have to rush back up to her dorm and get changed… "Damn it! What am I going to say? They know that I wasn't back at the dorm… CRAP! Don't you have a lesson now?"

"Luckily I don't have a first lesson on a Tuesday." He replied simply.

"What am I going to say?" She cried as she began to get dressed, putting the straps of her bra over her shoulders before picking up her top and hurriedly putting it on. "Oh god, what am I going to say? They will all ask… I am never late!"

"Hermione!" She hadn't realised that Severus was stood up and had in fact walked close to her, grabbing her by her shoulders. "Tell everyone that you slept in."

"But Harry…"

"Harry is the only person who knows any different. Tell him that you fell asleep and that you awoke on the desk with a cover over you. He won't question it. Trust me." He smiled slightly. She looked over his naked body.

"You really are a beautiful man…"

"Pardon?"

"You heard me…"

"Beautiful? Are you calling me beautiful?"

"Yes I am…"

"I cannot believe that you just called me beautiful. Any compliment is a shock, however handsome or attractive would have sounded better…"

"Ha! Well, to me, you are all of those! Even more so when you are naked first thing in the morning…" She grinned as he let go of her.

"You had better leave now or else I doubt I will be able to let you leave."

"You are the one that should watch your back… I will be tempted to jump on you every time I see you…"

They parted with a small kiss and as Hermione rushed back up to her dorm she began to worry again about what everyone would say when she walked in late into class. She decided that it would be best if she just missed Transfiguration altogether and just went straight to Muggle Studies. So she sat in her dorm and smiled to herself in the mirror like some kind of crazy person.

She went to Muggle Studies, and no-one even asked where she was. It was only at lunch that the questions were fired.

"Hey Hermione, where've you been?"

"Yeah, we missed you this morning!"

"Sorry guys, I got up late and felt kinda ill so I went straight to the Hospital Wing to get something."

"Why what was wrong?" Ron asked, concerned. He was obviously trying to sound more attentive after what she had said to him a few days earlier. She smiled.

"Women's problems." Ron backed off with a small "oh" noise and continued to eat his lunch. Harry just looked at her knowingly, though she ignored it.

"Hm, where's Snape? He wasn't here at breakfast this morning…"

"Good. I don't want that greasy bastard watching me while I eat my food…" Harry began.

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed angrily. He just smiled. She realised what he was doing. He knew that something had happened because he knew that she was defending him in a way that she wouldn't normally do. She re-evaluated. "Harry don't say that, he might be hurt…" She said as his smile became even broader.

As if it was timed the doors to the Great Hall swung open and Snape entered through them dramatically. He strode up to the teachers table, past all the students, not even glancing sideways. Hermione tried not to look as he passed her but she couldn't help it. As he sat at his usual spot at the staff table he too glanced upwards at her, and there was even the very faintest smile that appeared on his lips for less than a second. Quickly he averted his eyes and stared coldly at a first year Hufflepuff who was being slightly too loud, whom was silenced by the icy glare that he received. Hermione couldn't help but smile

"Earth to Hermione!" Lavender said.

"What?" She replied, turning back around to face her friends.

"Wait, am I on glue or did you just stare at Snape the whole way as he walked in?" Ron, Ginny, Lavender and Harry were all looking intently at her.

"What? I was just daydreaming that's all… nothing more!" She said, feeling herself begin to blush. Why couldn't she lie about this like she normally could?

"AH! Herm, you're blushing! You fancy Snape! HA HA! Oh My God!" Lavender started singing.

"Herm, you don't fancy Snape do you?" Ron asked, not wanting it to be true.

"No! I do not fancy Snape you morons!" She replied.

"You fancy Snape, you fancy Snape!" Lavender sung whilst laughing.

"I DO NOT!" She shouted angrily.

"Hermione loves Snape!" Lavender said, turning to Dean who was sat next to her.

"Hermione, do you fancy Snape?" he asked.

"For fucks sake I do not fancy him!" Hermione said. She was really getting angry, how dare they ask her things like that!

"You want his babies don't you? I bet you were getting off over what we were saying about his hands touching you all over the other week… Were you jealous when I joked about shagging him Herm?" Lavender laughed.

"Shut your mouth Lavender." Hermione threatened. How dare she speak about Severus like that! She had no idea! Hermione could feel her blood boil every time Lavender opened her fat stupid mouth.

"What?" Lavender said in disbelief. The whole table seemed to be looking at the group now, not overally knowing what was going on.

"I said _shut your mouth_ Lavender." She said again.

"What's your problem?"

"My problem is that I don't like people accusing me of things that aren't true and saying it so loud that by fourth lesson the whole school will think that I am in love with Professor _fucking_ Snape!"

"Jesus Hermione calm down, I was only joking…" Lavender began.

"Yeah, well I'm not exactly laughing and I don't see anyone else laughing either. So think before you 'joke' next time."

"What, you don't want people to know that you want Snape's sexy, scrawny body?" Lavender taunted. She had got over the shock of having Hermione Granger have a go at her and was becoming the mouthy young woman that she usually was.

"I swear to God Lavender shut your fucking mouth."

"Or you'll do what?"

"Or I'll come over to that side and shut it for you." That really shocked everyone. Everyone just sat and stared at Hermione. They had never seen her so aggressive. "You don't know what it does when you say shit like to people."

"Hermione, its ok, I'm not bothered." Harry said suddenly.

"What?" Hermione snapped.

"I said that I'm not bothered. I know that it's not true and that you've only got eyes for me. So if they want to believe that you fancy Snape, hm, well let them!"

"Wait, wait a minute…" Lavender began.

"Harry, what the hell?" Ron said.

"Harry what are you talking about?" Hermione snapped again.

"It's ok Hermione; I think that we have hidden it for long enough now."

"Harry, mate, you aren't…"

"Yes Ron. Me and Hermione have been seeing each other for the past few months." There was a dramatic gasp from the whole Gryffindor table.

"What?"

"How…"

"I don't understand…"

"Seriously?

"Man I knew they were close… we should have seen it!"

"We didn't tell anyone because we didn't know how you would react. Sorry guys!" Harry smile. Hermione was dumbfounded. What the hell was he talking about? "At first I was really jealous, but now I'm not. Lavender, that's why Hermione had a go at you, because at one point I would have taken what you were saying seriously and had a go at her later. But now I know that she only likes me."

"Oh." Was all that Lavender said.

"You two are seriously seeing each other?"

"Yeah. Sorry mate, keep your hands off she's taken!" Harry joked, putting his arm around a completely shocked Hermione.

"Well, well congratulations! I suppose it's been long over due!" Dean piped.

"Now I can finally do this in public." And with that Harry leaned in and kissed Hermione gently on the lips. A few people laughed, others gasped, but most were too shocked to say anything. Hermione was in a state of shock herself, what the hell was he doing? He was kissing her in the middle of the Great Hall; everyone was looking at them now!

Everyone.

Severus!

She pulled away and spun around to see Severus staring at the pair, that damn unreadable expression on his face. He just stared at her. As Harry took his arm off Hermione's shoulders and took her hand in his own, Severus got up and walked down past them and stormed out of the Great Hall. It took every ounce of her self control not to run after him.

She didn't hear Harry tell her to get up. Didn't hear him tell the rest of them that they were going to sneak off together. She felt him pull her from her seat, as if it wasn't actually her body. Felt him pull her through the Great Hall, through those doors.

He had seen him kiss her. He would think that she was going out with him or something! She didn't want to kiss anyone else. She only ever wanted to kiss him! Her mind raced through all the things that he would say to her... until Harry's voice pulled her back from her thoughts. She realised that she was against a wall and that he was stood close to her. It must have been on the way to the dungeons, the corridor was quite dark given the time of day.

"Hermione what the fuck were you thinking?"

"What? W, what was I thinking?"

"Yes! Don't make it too obvious will you about Snape! Jesus H Christ!"

"Harry, do you know what you have done!"

"Yes I do! I have saved your fucking ass is what I've done!"

"No you haven't! You had no right to do that in there! You have no idea of what you have done!" She shouted.

"Hermione, listen to me because I am only going to say this once. All of those things that you have done with Snape, all those things that I don't know, they'll get you killed if anyone ever comes to know them. I don't ever want to know about what has happened, but you had better realise this. He is a death eater. I don't care if he's a spy or not, he is a death eater. Voldemort is his master. I am the guy that Voldemort wants. Do the maths. You are already putting yourself in enough danger being friends with me, let alone being connected with a death eater!"

"Harry, I…"

"What I have done for you might even save your ass. What would happen if Malfoy heard that you liked Snape? He might be a little shit but he isn't stupid, he will tell his father who will tell Voldemort… Now if everyone thinks that you and I are going out then that puts Snape out of the picture. I couldn't give a damn how that makes him feel, at least that makes you safer."

"I, I…"

"There is a war coming Hermione. And you are putting yourself right smack fucking bang in the middle of it. End all relations with Snape and keep yourself safe. You are my girlfriend to anyone who asks. We have been dating for a few months, to be precise from Easter. Simple as." Harry pulled away from her and began to walk back in the direction of the Great Hall. Hermione had no idea what to say. All these feelings. Her head was a fuzzy scribble of thoughts. She didn't want to even contemplate it, but she knew that Harry had a valid point. Now everyone would think that she and Harry were dating. Even Snape.

Hermione couldn't stop the tears from flowing. She pulled herself from the wall and began the what seemed to be the longest walk down to the dungeons she had ever walked.

* * *

**Ok, thank you guys so much for the level of response that I got from the last chapter! I was really nervous about it! Just to clear it up, yes I am 18! Lol!**

**Just a few mentions really, thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far, esp Snape-is-da-bomb, Leology, Sunlight Girl, Alenor, atvgirl1288, KikiLala, icerelief2004, Ikaru Sentinal, mylovetheswamprat, TheWolfInTheShadows aka Alchemelia, saraH, superspunky7, Serendipity-England-1922… and everyone else! Sorry I have not replied personnally, I am off work all this week so I swear I will get back to most of you!**

**Akasha Ravensong- You prove an excellent point! I will make mention of that later one, thank you for pointing that out!**


	32. No regrets

In the Darkness

Chapter 31

Severus stormed through his classroom, slamming the door behind him with such force that the solid stone dungeon walls seemed to shake. He took the first thing that his hand happened to find, a cauldron, and launched it in front of him at nothing in particular. Furiously he grabbed the next thing he could find and launched it in the same direction, feeling slightly more satisfied when he heard it smash angrily against the wall. He was furious, how dare he! How dare he! How dare that, that WHELP touch her! Replaying that moment in his head made his stomach lurch with anger and his skin crawl with disgust. He couldn't think, he could barely see, his anger was clouding every sense that he had, any logic or rational thought was gone, and all that was left was this red mist of fury that turned any thought into that of severe torture and pain for that, that, that BOY for even breathing the same air as her….

Instinctively he turned and stormed into his private chambers, his body leading him to his Fire Whiskey sat, just begging to be opened. He did so, sloshing the amber liquid into a tumbler and downing it right there, repeating this 3 times, each time filling the tumbler up to a quarter full. On his fourth shot he slammed the glass down, still clutching the glass bottle. He took a deep breath, feeling the warm liquid begin to burn his throat slightly. Knowing that he had already had too much, he poured a small measure into the glass and walked to sit in his armchair, throwing himself into it. He felt the alcohol begin to relax him already, knowing that his slight intolerance to alcohol and the lack of food in his stomach would cause him to get very drunk very quickly if he wasn't careful.

His mind began to clear and the mist began to dissipate. For the first time in a while he began to think clearly. That boy had kissed Hermione. Hermione had looked shocked and disgusted; he knew deep down that she hadn't wanted to receive that from Potter. Potter. The name was bitter upon his tongue. Like cheap wine the name offended his very senses. Potter. The Boy Wonder. The Saviour. With his good looks and obvious charm, talent on the Quidditch field, it wouldn't be a surprise if Hermione DID like him. Potter was just like his rotten father. In every way. Everyone loved James Potter! Oh, look at me, with my chiselled features and cocky attitude and my group of friends who are willing to die for me! With all the attention from the teachers, the students, the women….

Severus sighed. He had never been very popular with women. They always seemed interested in him. Well, that would be the brooding dark features. He was an enigma that women like to think they can solve. Many briefly tried, until they realised that he was not an enigma, that was just how he was. Cold and spiteful, full with hatred and animosity towards the world. He didn't want female attention anyway. Why have a female when he would have to treat her like dirt. After all, that's what his father did. That was what the death eaters did.

There was only one woman that he… liked… Lilly Potter. With those eyes of sparkling green and her soft ivory skin… she was so kind… yet all he did was throw it back in her face… as ever, too proud to admit that he had a softer side, a caring side. What a fool. And of course, she could not resist James Potter's perfect charms. Like father like son. Soon Hermione would fall for that dopey schmuck, and there was nothing that Severus could do about it.

_Severus, she loves you. She said so herself. And you love her. She has accepted you for who you are. Can you not just accept that? Can't you just admit that you are in love and that you want to be with this woman? To look after her, to care for her, to protect her_?

Of course I can. I want nothing more than to protect her and care for her. But she will never give herself entirely to me.

_She already has._

She deserves the best. She should get it. I cannot give her that. I can't. POTTER can though. The perfect little couple. I cannot protect her, only put her in danger.

_She deserves to be happy. And she is happiest when she is with you. And visa versa. Why can't you just accept happiness?_

Because…

_Because what?_

Because I will never truly be happy! I will never truly believe her! I will always be waiting for her to realise what a mistake she has made and leave me, alone and broken-hearted! Why set myself up for something that will eventually just fall through? She would leave me, when she realises what a monster I am. It is only in the innocence of youth that she is so forgiving and kind. She knows no better!

_She knows what she wants. She wants you. And you want her. So enjoy it while you can. She may come to you in a month and tell you that it is all over, she wants someone younger, who she can actually walk hand in hand with down the street instead of having to hide. If she did do that, you must let her go. But know that you were loved, if only for that month. Know that you were happy for that month. Enjoy it, and have no regrets._

No regrets…

Severus didn't hear the click of the door to his private chambers opening. He didn't hear the soft footsteps slowly trod closer and closer to where he was sat. Too encased in his own thoughts to think of anything else. Anything else but her.

"Severus…."

The sweetest sound broke him from his thoughts, his head snapping up to see her stood by the door, hands clasped together against her stomach, a worried expression on her face. He nodded his head just enough to acknowledge her before hanging his head again.

"Severus… are you ok?" He smiled to himself. Stupid woman.

"I have just witnessed the most awful sight." He said slowly, pausing to take a deep breath. "I have just witnessed a young, fop of a boy, whose neck I could very easily snap, kiss the woman whom I adore. I heard him mention that they are in fact 'dating'…"

"No, no that's not it at all, you don't understand…"

"Oh I understand perfectly well, Hermione…"

"No you don't! I didn't want him to do that! Please, you must believe me…"

"Pmhf…"

"Please, please believe me, I would never… I didn't want him to…. I just couldn't…. Please Severus, I only ever want to kiss you…."

Serverus stayed still.

"… I don't want anyone else! Please, please believe me…."

Severus looked up. His angel. He could see the emotion written all over her face. He did believe her. As a matter of fact, he wasn't even angry with her. He was just taking it out on her. He sighed.

"I know that you don't, Hermione." She quickly walked towards him and fell to her knees before him to look up at him, taking his hand in hers.

"I don't want anyone else. I am so sorry…" He squeezed her hand in reassurance.

"No, don't be sorry. It wasn't your fault." She looked up at him with tears forming in her eyes, as brown as the Earth, as pure as skies. He put his glass down and with his free hand he cupped the side of her face gently.

"I love you so much, I thought that you would hate me…."

"Hermione, I could never hate you."

"I could never hate you!" She replied, trying to keep the tears from flowing again.

"Oh i'm sure that you could…" He replied, smiling slightly.

"No, no I never could…" She leaned forward to gently kiss his lips, his hand moving to her waist as she kissed him. With one swift movement he pulled her onto his lap, wrapping his arms around her, holding her so close. She put her head on his shoulder, enjoying the closeness of him, the sound of him smelling her hair, letting her hands run up his back gently.

"I only want you…" She whispered.

"Then you shall have me." He whispered back, making her smile slightly. Lifting her head to see him, she looked into his dark eyes, stroking his face as he closed his eyes against the softness of the palms of her hands.

"I'm sorry if I upset you, Hermione." Severus said, his eyes still closed. "It was not my intention, and it never will be. I was just so… jealous… and angry… Merlin I could easily wrap my hands around that boy's neck…"

"Severus… don't… What he did, I, I don't agree, and I certainly didn't enjoy it… but it made sense…" Severus's eyes flew open, rage beginning to form within them. "No, no, I mean, if you think about it, everyone thinks that me and him are dating now right? So no-one will ever suspect us…" Severus considered this.

"Yes, I will admit it is quite practical. However, I do not want to see any public signs of affection towards him…"

"Severus I may well have to hold his hand…"

"Well I just won't allow that!"

"Oh really? And what exactly are you going to do about that?" He considered this for a moment.

"I am going to gather you up in my arms and run away into the sunset with you, leaving all of this behind…" Hermione laughed.

"Ha! You wouldn't, you couldn't! You love Hogwarts too much!"

"I most certainly do not…."

"Oh yes, but you do. Don't lie now, I can tell…"

"You cannot tell…"

"Yes I can! I can tell that you would never actually do that!"

"Do what?"

"Pick me up and run away into the sunset with me!" Severus remained silent.

"I would want you to." She added quietly. He sighed. He should not have mentioned that at all.

"Come now, I expect that your lessons will soon be starting…You don't want to be late and have to test your acting abilities…" She smiled.

"You know, you will always have a part of me. No matter what happens. You will always have that tiny part of my heart."

"And I shall not forget it." They smiled, kissing again before she climbed off him, waiting for him to stand so she could hug him. He may not be the most sensitive man on Earth, and he may not be able to put his feelings into words, but she knew that the man whom she was so close to now, loved her like she would never be loved.

"No regrets, Hermione?" She smiled against him.

_"No regrets."_

**_I am so sorry that I haven't updated for so long! I have just been so busy, and I didn't have any direction! this chapter is a little soppy, I know, but it had relevance to the rest of the story. I now have the ending planned out!!! Thanks as always fro reading, just bear with it, the next few chapters are going to be belters!!_**


	33. Loyalty

**In The Darkness**

**Ok guys, sorry about the lack of updates! Here it is for you! And, I've had a problem with the text on all the apostrophies, speach marks and ... seem to have been lost and been replaced by dodgy characters... I have tried to change them all back but I don't know if it has worked. Just bear with me for the time being please!!!**

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**Chapter 33**

The next few weeks were... interesting... to say the least. Hermione and Harry were going out, and had almost gathered celebrity status throughout the school. Everywhere they went people whispered, chatting eagerly if they kissed briefly in pubic, when they wiped food off each other's faces, giggled and laughed at each others attempts to be affectionate towards one another. The friends in their group were happy for them, accepting it for what it was. Ron hadn't been pushed out as he had feared he would be either, although there were times he did feel the gooseberry. All in all, it was convincing, and very, very amusing to both Harry and Hermione. They even had there own pet names for each other. It was like there own secret joke.

Severus, however, wasn't laughing.

They were always together. Also holding hands, flirting with each other. Yes he knew it was for show, but he couldn't help but feel a swell of anger every time he saw them together. Every single time. Hermione swore that she had never been unfaithful, and that she never would. Severus did believe her, but the sight of them together went he should be in that BOY'S place was very nearly unbearable. And it didn't get any easier over time. Especially in Potion's class.

Every Gryfindor hated Friday mornings. Except Hermione, she rather enjoyed them, for one simple reason. Snape and Potions first thing. What could possibly be any better?

Friday morning caused Hermione to wear slightly more makeup and add a spring to her step as she bounced through the doors into the Great Hall, her curls tumbling down her back as she jumped into her seat next to Harry, pecking him on the lips.

"Morning!" She said brightly.

"Good morning to you Madam!" Harry replied, "What are you eating today?"

"Hmmm... Anything you want to give me... Chosen One..."

"Anything?"

"Anything..." She replied in a seductive voice that caused a few of the students sitting around them to look up.

"Anything eh... how about a nice, juicy piece of meat?" He replied, his voice husky.

"Well now, Mr Potter, I only take the biggest chunks of meat, I like to take them whole". Do you think that you could provide me with that?" She tried desperately not to laugh as a good few more students looked up in shock at her, one young boy almost choking on his porridge.

"Madam, I am almost sure that you will be more than satisfied with the meat I can provide..."

"Hmm... I'm sure that I will be..." She looked around at the startled faces around her... Dare she? Of course she did. "I want to eat it now!" She said loudly. Harry stifled a laugh, whilst everyone else stared, dumbstruck. Harry regained his composure.

"Madam, trust me, it would be far too much to have for breakfast... it is mush better when had for.. say... a break time snack..."

"Do you mean Mr Potter, for example, after Potions?"

"Yes Madam, that is precisely what I mean."

"In that case, Mr Potter, after Potions it is, as I am positively ravenous for it..." She said sexily as she leaned over the table to the fruit bowl, taking a banana and letting her arm wipe Harry's chest obviously. Peeling the banana to get to the fruit, she took the first few inches in her mouth, letting her tongue roll down the side of it, flicking it around the shaft of the banana. Harry glanced at the boys on the table, laughing to himself as he watched them stare at Hermione and her somewhat perfected tongue movement over the banana...

Pulling her lips to expose the not wet banana, she looked up at Harry, slowly taking it back in her mouth...

Suddenly, she bit down hard through the banana, laughing as she saw a few of the boys flinch from the corner of her eye. She ate the rest of the banana normally and with a smile on her face, throwing Harry a knowing look every now and again.

After breakfast, the couple made there way down to Potions, meeting Ron by the door. Together they went into the classroom, taking their usual seats next to each other, Hermione next to Harry, Harry next to Ron. It was at this point where Snape came in, bursting through the door in a dramatic fashion, barking out orders to finish the Potion, reminding the students that the potion should be a mint green colour with a gentle green mist floating a few centimetres from the actually liquid, not a forest green that billowed dark green steam (glaring at Ron as he said this). It was at this moment when the classroom became busy with quiet chatter, partners discussing with each other who would get the cauldrons and who would get the ingredients. Hermione was working with Ron, leaving Harry on his own.

"Do you wanna get the ingredients and I'll get the cauldron? I never know which is which in those bloody plant roots; they all look the same to me."

"Really Ron, you need to start revising..." She said, scowling slightly.

"Oh not now Mrs Potter! Just get over there will you!" Ron laughed as he gently pushed her in the direction of the ingredients at the opposite side of the class from where the cauldrons were.

As Hermione took her first few steps, she saw Severus standing by the cauldrons, inspecting each one as the students walked past with them. She stopped in her tracks, forcing Ron to nearly fall into her as he was walking behind her.

"You know what Ron, I'll get the cauldron, it's high time you learnt what plants looked like..." She said quickly before dashing off, not really hearing Ron say "I know what stupid plants look like..."

She pushed past a few people and started to walk normally, a slightly more obvious sway to her hips as she walked past Severus. It did not go unnoticed to him. Picking up her cauldron, she turned around and began to walk past him again, obviously ignoring him completely. Suddenly a hand wrapped itself around her upper arm, pulling her quite close to the owner of the hand.

"Miss Granger..." He said in the sexiest voice she had ever heard him say her name in. She looked up at him innocently.

"Yes... sir?"

"I need to check this potion." He said, staring at her intensely.

"Please, go right ahead Sir." She said in a completely innocent voice. He looked over at her hands, his gaze following to her chest where it lingered for a few moments before meeting with her eyes again.

"I think that all is well here." He said, letting go of her arm at last.

"I'm not too sure; perhaps you should check me... I mean, the potion, again... Sir..." She said quietly as so the other students wouldn't hear.

"Hmm... I think I should..." He almost let a tiny smile curve his lip. "Later, Miss Granger, you are pestering me again..." He said loudly. She rolled her eyes and carried on walking back to her seat, letting a big smile fall across her face.

"Oh, aren't we happy today Granger?" Hermione's smile dropped to a look of distain when she realised the owner of the voice.

"I have every reason to be, Malfoy." She said, smugly.

"Do you actually mean that Potter has at last made you come? No, that can't be, I mean with his tiny prick, I bet you it's too small to floss you're teeth with it at first, let alone get any pleasure from it."

"Malfoy, it sounds like you you've been fantasising about this, have you being imagining Harry naked? Maybe you've been trying to sneak a peek in the showers to see my boyfriend naked and caught a different guy who happened to be a lot smaller that my Harry┘ tell me, were you disappointed?"

"You tell me, where you upset when he pulled out a 3inch dick that was already hard?"

"Not nearly as upset as I was when he pulled out his 9inch member that was soft." Malfoy was actually stunned for a moment, not expecting Hermione to ever say anything like that. It was in this moment that that she gave him a smirk and carried on walking past him. Malfoy regained himself.

"So how was it when he made you come? Was it like "Oh, Harry!!! OOOOHHHHHHH HHHHAAARRRRRRRRRRRRYYYY!!" Malfoy began to shout, moaning in a high pitch, squealing dramatic ecstasy. Hermione rolled her eyes as she spun back around to him. The noises had caught the attention of most of the class, including Harry and Snape.

"Malfoy, I had always imagined what you sound like when you fuck your mother, well now I know don't I?" Harry, who arrived by Hermione's side, laughed out loud when she said this. Malfoy fell silent for a while.

"At least I don't have to fuck a dirty mudblood whore who will open her legs to anyone and everyone." He shouted at Harry.

"See the difference between you and me Malfoy, if that I can fuck my girlfriend if I want. You don't have a choice as to when your dad bends you over."

Malfoy's face a vivid shade of red in anger as the class roared with laughter. He had nothing else to say, the class was rolling in laughter. He reached inside his robes for his wand, only to realise he had left it on the desk. Suddenly he launched himself at Harry, losing his self control. It all seemed to happen so quickly, Malfoy grabbed Harry's robes with his left hand and brought down a powerful punch to the face with his right, pushing Harry's face sideward's, his eye seemingly exploding upon impact of the fist to his face. As Malfoy let go of his robes, Harry fell to the floor, but only for a second, as suddenly he was back on his feet, he too had his fist raised and about to punch Malfoy. Malfoy dodged, swinging for Harry again...

Hermione was pushed backwards when Malfoy first grabbed Harry, and could do nothing more than watch the two of them fight, fists flying, unable to tell who was winning, a flash of red would appear where someone was bleeding. As Harry was nearly knocked to the ground again she leapt forward to grab him and pull him away from the fight, but as she leaned in to reach him Malfoy grabbed her roughly by her robes, slamming his fists onto her back.

"Get out of the way, Mudblood!" He hissed as he pushed her roughly to the side, sending her crashing to the floor, her hands landing flat on the floor in front of her, just breaking her fall.

Severus had watched all of this from the side of the room, and at the moment he saw the two boys begin to fight he had drew his wand and waited for a moment where he would be able to separate them without sending them flying across the room. It looked like a good fight, he had to admit, and he was almost interested in who would win.

But the moment that Malfoy put his hands upon Hermione Severus had already lifted his wand, and by the time that she was on the floor Malfoy had been sent flying across the room, slamming into the stone wall on the other side of the class. Harry was just laid on the floor, blood pouring from his eye, his chest heaving heavily, seemingly unaware of the Hermione lay close to him on the floor.

Severus stormed over to where Hermione lay, and before he went to help her, he shouted across to Malfoy.

"If you have drawn blood on her Malfoy, I swear you will never step foot in this school again." He bent down to pick her up, lifting her head towards him. She looked at him as he examined her face, there was no blood and no marks. She would probably have red marks on her back from where she was pushed, but that would be about it. He helped her to her feet, standing close to her and quietly asking if she was ok. She nodded.

"You should be thanking Merlin that she is not seriously hurt!" He shouted to Malfoy, who was just slumped against the wall in the shadows.

Turning back, Severus walked over to Harry, grabbing him and roughly bringing him to his feet.

"Mr Weasley, take Mr Potter and Mr Malfoy to the Hospital Wing. Potter, Malfoy, I will see both of you here at 7:00 tonight to start the beginning of your 2 weeks of detention. Class dismissed."

The rest of the class followed Ron, Harry and Draco, mumbling quietly about what a great fight and even better that they had gotten to finish the class so early. When most of the class had left Severus turned to Hermione again, lowering himself slightly to look at her face again, though she kept turning away.

"Hermione are you hurt?" She shook her head. "Are you sure?" She nodded. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, only to feel her stiffen slightly. He let go, his hands still holding her arms gently. "Tell me what you're thinking." She paused.

"I've never been pushed by a man before." Severus sighed.

"That's because a real man would never push a woman." He pulled her close again and felt her relax against him. They stayed there for a few minutes, just holding each other. He pulled away from her so that he could see her, cupping her face with his hands.

"I would never intentionally hurt you." She smiled.

"That is why you are a real man."

* * *

Lucius Malfoy sat besides his son's hospital bed later that evening, having been called in by the staff at Hogwarts to a meeting about his son's behaviour and language to other students. It had been explained to him what had happened in the dungeons earlier that day, what had been said to his son and how he had reacted. Now he sat upright on the chair next to the bed, staff in his hand, listening to his son.

"What did they tell you about what happened father?" Draco asked.

"Draco I don't care about what had happened. I know what the topic of conversation was between you, Potter (which he spat out) and that little mudblood, and I know that you would have won that fight and possibly beaten Potter to a pulp if Severus hadn't have stopped you." Draco smirked slightly. "No Draco, the only reason why I came down here to see you was to ask you a question. Why, do you think, that Severus would sit and watch two boys fighting and not try to stop them, but as soon as the mudblood bitch was touched, he reacted in a... somewhat irrational way..."

"I don't know father."

"Tell me, has either of them been acting... odd... Recently?"

"Not really... Actually... Now that you mention it, the other week Grang..."

"Draco I don't want to hear ITS name."

"...That little whore was staring at Snape as he walked into the Great Hall... That's when Potter announced that they were dating, she did look surprised..."

Lucius began to smirk.

"Hm, how odd... Would it seem at all believable if I were to say that maybe Miss Mudblood Whore is somewhat attracted to Severus, and that those feelings are mutual, and that the situation between said mudblood whore and Mr Potter was a facade to cover up the feelings that she has for a certain brooding Potions master?"

"Snape with... with... A woman, let alone her! It couldn't be..." Lucius looked at his son. "You may be right father, but I can't imagine it... He is a deatheater, and a loyal one at that, is a dirty bloodied Gryffindor..."

"I am not questioning his loyalty, Draco, but maybe we should... Why else would he get so angry over you pushing any dirty Gryffindor."

"I don't know father, but I can't imagine them. It seems impossible. I don't think that he ever would, or could, and she definitely never would."

"Well Draco, there is only one way to find out, isn't there..."

**Oh my god, I am SSSOOOOO SORRY! that I haven't updated, I have been in a total whirlwind of a life at the moment, what is going on?? **

**I know, it's a bit of a cliff hanger, but I swear I am going to start writting more recently. **

**Ok, it's been a long time since I have written any reviews, so here we go!! **

**Sugabears: Phantom of the Opera is a fantastic film, and the soundtrack blows me away everytime I listen to it. I love all types of music, but that soundtrack is totally amazing. Have I seen 300? OF COURSE I HAVE! YOU CANNOT HAVE GERRY BUTLER WEARING NOTHING BUT SPEEDOS, A RED CAPE AND SANDLES AND EXPECT ME NOT TO SEE IT!! I think that for the first 20 minutes of that film I had to oggle at all the men, I couldn't concentrate on the actual film!! Glad you like my fic, hope you keep reading! **

**AMI MIZUNO1- This story will be taking a few twists and turns, hope you're hanging on for the ride! **

**mslupin21- Snape would never kill Harry... I don't think... well not in my storys, we all know Snape is a goodie really!!!:-) Enjoy! **

**Lily Phoenix- ITS HERE!!! THE UPDATE IS HERE!! Sorry it's taken so long! **

**Pen2Paper- Thank you! I'm gonna read your love scenes, I bet that they are not shameful at all!! **

**Jessiness33- LOL you so wanted to put that pun in there!!! Admit it:-) Thank you very much! **

**Aldavinur- Well, all I can say is keep reading... you may be surprised!! **

**SilentWhisperWolf- Thanks, I hope that you're still waiting, and reading!! Its been far too long since my last update! **

**silverrose22- Snape is troubled I think, he has got some serious issues that I just know that I could help him with... ;-) I don't know about it being the best, since i've been back on there are some pretty good stories about... some very very talented people out there... **

**fluffypuppysesshomaru- I don't know why he is so amazingly sexy, but he is. And Alan Rickman makes him even more sexy with that voice... OH GOD THE VOICE!! We all love a bit of porn on paper, and because of this I will be putting some more in soon! **

**DarkSparrowAtDusk- LOL yes, I have spit shined my boots in the past, it's the only thing that truely works!!! Flight Officer Cowling had to be able to see himself in your boots, and if he couldn't he would stand on them with his dirty wet shoes!! I'm from England, born and bred, and when I lived in Canada I was in a little military town called Ralston, near Medicine Hat. Good times, Canadians, very nice, but funny, people:-) Andy Lloyd Webber rocks, he's a quirky little guy!**


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